Difference between revisions of "The Monkey Suit/Quotes"
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{{qf|[[Rod]]}} Then who brings baby storks? | {{qf|[[Rod]]}} Then who brings baby storks? | ||
{{qf|Ned}} There's no such thing as storks! It's all God! | {{qf|Ned}} There's no such thing as storks! It's all God! | ||
| − | {{qf|Todd}} ''[ | + | {{qf|Todd}} ''[kneeling beside a statue of a stork]'' Please bless Daddy and Roddy... |
{{qf|Ned}} Stop praying to that stork! | {{qf|Ned}} Stop praying to that stork! | ||
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| − | {{qf|[[Chief Wiggum]]}} | + | {{qf|[[Chief Wiggum]]}} Lisa Simpson, you're under arrest for the teaching of non-biblical science! |
| − | {{qf|Lisa | + | {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} There are so many worse crimes. Why are you persecuting me? |
{{qf|Chief Wiggum}} Well, we only have the man power to enforce the last law passed. You know, it's not the best system, but... well, in fact, it's pretty much the worst. | {{qf|Chief Wiggum}} Well, we only have the man power to enforce the last law passed. You know, it's not the best system, but... well, in fact, it's pretty much the worst. | ||
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{{qf|Ned Flanders}} As sure as I am that Jesus hates hip-hop!. | {{qf|Ned Flanders}} As sure as I am that Jesus hates hip-hop!. | ||
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| − | {{qf|[[Miss Hoover]]}} Class, the town has spoken. From now on we're only teaching one theory: creationism. Now please hand in your evolution books to Groundskeeper Willie while I beat this ominous drum. | + | {{qf|[[Miss Hoover]]}} Class, the town has spoken. From now on we're only teaching one theory: creationism. Now please hand in your evolution books to [[Groundskeeper Willie]] while I beat this ominous drum. |
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| − | {{qf|[[Barney | + | {{qf|[[Barney]]}} [[Homer]]'s son's sister is right! |
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{{qf|[[Clarisse Drummond]]}} This trial is the biggest load of... Oh for crying out loud! | {{qf|[[Clarisse Drummond]]}} This trial is the biggest load of... Oh for crying out loud! | ||
Revision as of 03:29, May 6, 2020
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- Todd: Daddy, was Mommy a monkey? I can't remember.
- Ned: No one was ever a monkey! Everything is what it was and always will be! God put us here and that's that!
- Todd: But you said a stork brought me.
- Ned: Umm... that was God disguised as a stork.
- Rod: Then who brings baby storks?
- Ned: There's no such thing as storks! It's all God!
- Todd: [kneeling beside a statue of a stork] Please bless Daddy and Roddy...
- Ned: Stop praying to that stork!
- Chief Wiggum: Lisa Simpson, you're under arrest for the teaching of non-biblical science!
- Lisa: There are so many worse crimes. Why are you persecuting me?
- Chief Wiggum: Well, we only have the man power to enforce the last law passed. You know, it's not the best system, but... well, in fact, it's pretty much the worst.
- TV Host: So you are calling God a liar? An Unbiased Comparison of Evolution and Creationism. Let's say hi to two books. One; The Bible was written by our Lord. The other; The Origin of Species was written by a cowardly drunk named Charles Darwin.
- Ned Flanders: As sure as I am that Jesus hates hip-hop!.
- Miss Hoover: Class, the town has spoken. From now on we're only teaching one theory: creationism. Now please hand in your evolution books to Groundskeeper Willie while I beat this ominous drum.
- Clarisse Drummond: This trial is the biggest load of... Oh for crying out loud!
- Wallace Brady: Now Bambi, who started that forest fire that killed your mother? Evolution?! My my my...
- Bart: Weaving? Homer, you're my father. You're supposed to protect me from things like this.
