Difference between revisions of "Pulpit Friction/Quotes"

Revision as of 16:48, April 14, 2020

Marge: Are there any two wordsmore exciting than "couch shopping"?

Homer: No need. Already went online and ordered a new couch just like the old one.

Homer: And, you know, Marge, those salespeople weren't really our friends.

Marge: But they let me take fabric samples.

Homer: They charged a deposit.

Marge: They had to. It came from corporate.

Homer: That's right, sweetie, it always comes from corporate.

Marge: How did we get bedbugs?

Homer: Probably one of Bart's dirty friends. Boy, why are your friends so dirty?

Bart: Don't know. Why are your friends such drunks?

Homer: Touché.

Lisa: You never know, Mom. I'm only eight. I might get married someday, even if it's only a green card marriage to keep a Chinese dissident from being deported.

Marge: We can have the reception at Wong Lee's.

Ned: I don't think this is what Martin Presbyluther had in mind when he founded our religion by sticking his Three Suggestions under the Pope's windshield wiper.

Bart: Mr. Flanders, this new reverend has thrown tar in your half-pipe, too?

Ned: I don't understand that on any level, but yes.

Bart: Well, let's get Lovejoy back. Do you know where he is?

Ned: He's in a place full of brimstone and exposed flesh.

Bart: You mean he's selling hot tubs?

Ned: Yes.

Lisa: Mom, I found your wedding dress.

Marge: How?

Lisa: Using something this town has never, ever seen good, honest police work. I staked out the alley and befriended the garbage man who took it. Then he gave it to a local theater company, who used it in the first unsuccessful version of Mamma Mia. In a bankruptcy sale, it was bought by a young couple.