Difference between revisions of "Bye, Bye, Nerdie/Quotes"

Revision as of 17:39, March 27, 2017

Marge: "Ah! Homer, you're still here? You should have left for work an hour ago."

Homer: "They said if I come in late for work again, I'm fired. I can't take that chance."

Marge:[to Bart and Lisa] And kids you're gonna miss you school bus. [looks at the window and gasps the school bus is only two blocks] It's only two blocks away!

[Marge grabs Bart and Lisa and brushes them both their teeth]

Bart: We're gonna spit.

Marge: You can spit on the bus. [changes their pajamas into their outfits while going down stairs Lisa is wearing Bart's clothes and Bart is wearing Lisa's clothes]

Bart: Uh, mom? [holding Lisa's skirt]

Marge: [to Bart] Not now Lisa. [grabs them both]

Marge: "Stop! Stop!"

Otto: "Oh, you wanna drag?"

Marge: [gasps] "Hrmmm. I'm not racing! It's me, Marge Simpson!"

Otto:" No, you eat my dust!"

Terri: "Red hair?"

Sherri: "What's she trying to pull?"

Janey: "Those shoes look Canadian."

Boy with orthodontic headgear: "She'll never fit in."

Lisa: "Oh, it's tough being the new kid. Someone should go talk to her."

Bart: "Yeah, somebody should..." [looking out of window] "One-hour dry cleaner? Man, that's fast."

Sales lady: [as door is be-ing opened] "Your baby is dead..." [Marge and Homer gasp] "...that's what you'd hear if your baby fell victim to the thousands of death-traps lurking in the average American home." [she hands Marge a business card]

Marge: "'Springfield Baby-Proofing'?"

Homer: "You... you really scared us!"

Sales lady: "Sorry about that. But the truth is, your baby Maggie Simpson, is dead..." [Marge and Homer gasp again] "...tired of baby-proofers who don't provide a free estimate."

[the sales lady puts on a baby bonnet]

Sales lady: "Now, pretend I'm a baby."

[she starts to crawl around the kitchen floor, making baby noises]

Sales lady: "Goo, goo. Me wike to expwore!"

Homer: [to Marge] "That's a pretty big caboose for a baby."

Marge: "Homer, don't be... wow, that is huge!"

Sales lady: "Okay, with the window bars, toilet latches, dingo alarm and grapefruit squirt shield, your total cost would be... wow, I'm rich!"

Marge: "Why don't you try reaching out to this new girl? See if you two have a common interest."

Lisa: "Hmm. Well, lots of people like jazz fusion." [she pulls out her sax and demonstrates]

Marge: "Okay, that's in the maybe file. What if you two bond over your Malibu Stacy dolls?"

Lisa: "They're not dolls, they're aspiration figures."

Homer: "That baby-proofing crook wanted to sell us safety covers for the electrical outlets. But I'll just draw bunny faces on them to scare Maggie away." [he begins to draw]

Marge: "She's not afraid of bunnies."

Homer: [ominously] "She will be."

Homer: "Now, do you realize how unsafe the American home is? Baby accidents occur every three minutes."

Marge: "I'm the one who told you that!"

Homer: "Yeah, but this is me talkin'. Look! I already encased the phone in concrete."

Marge: "How are you supposed to dial?"

Homer: "Reach into these holes. I use a carrot."

Marge: "Isn't that a little excessive? I mean, how are the buttons dangerous?"

Homer: "Baby could order poison!"

Lisa: "Would you bullies be interested in some body guard work?"

Nelson: "Oh, this is so funny. We were just talking about moving into protection."

Dolph: "We're offering a recess and lunch package that's very affordable."

Nelson: "Sorry, we don't do girls. They bite and kick and scratch."

Dolph: "And sometimes we fall in love."

[the bullies sigh]

Lisa: Wow, there's so much I don't understand about bullying.

Nelson: "Yeah, there's a lot of history there. Did you know is predates agriculture?"

Lisa: "I just don't understand Francine's motivation. Why does she only go after the smart ones?"

Nelson: "That's like asking the square root of a million... No one will ever know."

Lisa: "Willie, I need to see the school security tapes."

Willie: "Security tapes? There's no security tapes!"

Lisa: [pointing at a camera] "It's hard to miss the cameras."

Willie: "Aye. Willie's a stinkin' liar."

Lisa: "Why does the school need to watch us all the time?"

Willie: "School?"

[[[Milhouse]], Martin and Database, all shirtless, are exercising on StairMasters]

Lisa: "Come on people! Move it! I want to see some sweat!"

Martin: "I'm not mastering another step until you explain the purpose of this monstrous experiment."

Lisa: "I believe the key to bully-nerd antagonism lies in your drippings."

Martin: "Then I shall drip like a pot roast."

Lisa: "Excellent. Now don't mind the squeegee."

[she scrapes sweat off of Martin's body]

Principal Skinner: "Thank you, Drederick Tatum. That was truly a K.O. - Knockout Oration. Heh."

Edna Krabappel: [flirting] "Need a ride home?"

Drederick Tatum: "You really don't want that. Trust me."

Lisa: "Mr. Tatum, do you mind if I swab you with this damp rag?"

Drederick Tatum: "No, not at all. Swab away."

[Lisa pulls out a beaker and starts pouring something onto the rag]

Drederick: "Whoa, whoa! Nobody mentioned a beaker."

Lisa: "Please? It's for science."

Drederick: "Oh, for science! In that case, proceed."

Scientist: "The Problem? UFOs!" [holds up a fake UFO on a string] "The solution? This!" [cuts string]

Marge: "That's quite an act to follow, Lisa."

Lisa: [stepping onto stage] "I know, and the crowd is so distinguished. The inventor of the walkie-talkie is out there."

Marge: [stepping after Lisa] "Where?"

Lisa: "Third row, near the aisle."

Marge: [gasps] "Ooh, you're right. And that's not his wife."

Lisa: "But why do the bullies prey on the brainy? Is it jealousy? [the scientists murmur assent] No! The reason is chemical."

[the scientists murmur disagreement]

Male researcher: "Tha-that's impossible! Chemicals are our friends."

Dr. C. Everett Koop: "She's a witch!"

Lisa: "I have isolated the chemical which is emitted by every geek, dork and four-eyes. I call is 'Poindextrose'."

(when Lisa shows off her Bully repellent)

Scientist: "The little girl's invented some kind of bully repellent!"

Lisa: [holding up an atomizer] "Actually, it's just ordinary salad dressing."

Marge: "So that's where that went."

Lisa: "The pungent vinegar and tangy Roquefort blocked the smell receptors, rendering the bully harmless."

Homer: "So all her bullying was just to get some attention."

Lisa: "No, Da-"

Homer: "Just to get some attention."

[Lisa notices Francine wearing a nose clip]

Lisa: That time she looked right at me and didn't touch me. Hmm. [Gasps] Of course. The nose clip. Hey, Willie.I think I'm onto something.Check this out. [Francine enters the room and slowly approaches her]Not talking, eh, Willie? Just listen then. I think I figured out what sets off that big ape Francine. Willie? Willie? [grabs Lisa] Whoa! [Francine punches Lisa in the stomach and face and she is crying out and faints and Willie gives a thumbs up at the camera]