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Difference between revisions of "Bye, Bye, Nerdie/Quotes"

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|episode=Bye Bye Nerdie
 
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Hungry, Hungry Homer|Simpson Safari}}
 
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Hungry, Hungry Homer|Simpson Safari}}
  
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:'''[[Marge]]:''' Ah! [[Homer]], you're still here? You should have left for work an hour ago.
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{{qf|[[Marge]]}} ''[horrified sound]'' Homer, you're still here? You should've left for work an hour ago!
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:'''[[Homer]]:''' They said if I come in late for work again, I'm fired. I can't take that chance.
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{{qf|[[Homer]]}} They said if I come in late again, I'm fired. I can't take that chance.
 
----
 
----
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:'''Marge:''' Stop! Stoooop!
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{{qf|Marge}} I did it! I caught the school bus. Now hurry up and get on.
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:'''[[Otto]]:''' Oh, you wanna drag?
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{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} But Mom, the school's right here.
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:'''Marge:''' ''(gasps)'' Hrmmm. I'm not racing! It's me, Marge Simpson!
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{{qf|Marge}} I won. Don't take that away from me.
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:'''Otto:''' No, you eat my dust!
 
 
----
 
----
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:'''[[Terri]]:''' Red hair?
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{{qf|Lisa}} Oh, it's tough being the new kid. Someone should go talk to her.
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:'''[[Sherri]]: What's she trying to pull?
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{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Yeah, somebody should. One-hour dry cleaner. Man, that's fast.
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:'''[[Janey]]:''' Those shoes look Canadian.
 
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:'''Boy with orthodontic headgear:''' She'll never fit in.
 
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:'''[[Lisa]]:''' Oh, it's tough being the new kid. Someone should go talk to her.
 
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:'''[[Bart]]:''' Yeah, somebody should. ''(looking out of window)'' One-hour dry cleaner? Man, that's fast.
 
 
----
 
----
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:'''[[Sales lady]]  (as door is be-ing opened):''' Your baby is dead... ''(Marge and Homer gasp)'' ...that's what you'd hear if your baby fell victim to the thousands of death-traps lurking in the average American home. ''(she hands Marge a business card)''
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{{qf|Homer}} Kids gone?
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:'''Marge:''' "[[Springfield Baby-Proofing]]"?
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{{qf|Marge}} Yep. It's great to have some time just to ourselves, huh?
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:'''Homer:''' You... you really scared us!
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{{qf|Homer}} You read my mind. Sooo... This coffee's good, huh?
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:'''Sales lady:''' Sorry about that. But the truth is, your baby [[Maggie Simpson]], is dead... ''(Marge and Homer gasp)'' ...tired of baby-proofers who don't provide a free estimate.
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{{qf|Marge}} Yeah. The uh... the milk really takes the edge off.
 +
{{qf|Homer}} You know, I think our marriage is...
 
----
 
----
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:''(the sales lady puts on a baby bonnet)''
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{{qf|[[Sales lady]]}} Your baby is dead.
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:'''Sales lady:''' Now, pretend I'm a baby.
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:''[Homer and Marge scream]''
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:''(she starts to crawl around the kitchen floor, making baby noises)''
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{{qf|Sales lady}} That's what you'd hear if your baby fell victim to the thousands of deathtraps lurking in the average American home.
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:'''Sales lady:''' Goo, goo. Me wike to expwore!
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{{qf|Marge}} ''[reading]'' "[[Springfield Baby-Proofing]]"?
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:'''Homer:''' ''(to Marge)'' That's a pretty big caboose for a baby.
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{{qf|Homer}} You...you really scared us.
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:'''Marge:''' Homer, don't be... wow, that is huge!
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{{qf|Sales lady}} Sorry about that. But the truth is, your baby, Maggie Simpson, is dead!
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(in fact the whole scene of her as a baby should be put here but it is too long)
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:''[Homer and Marge scream]''
 +
{{qf|Sales lady}} Dead tired of baby-proofers who don't provide a free estimate. Let's start in the kitchen.
 
----
 
----
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:'''Sales lady:''' Okay, with the window bars, toilet latches, dingo alarm and grapefruit squirt shield, your total cost would be... wow, I'm rich!
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{{qf|Sales lady}} Now, pretend I'm a baby. ''[baby voice]'' Goo goo. Me wike to expwore.
 +
{{qf|Homer}} That's a pretty big caboose for a baby.
 +
{{qf|Marge}} Homer! Don't be... Wow, that is huge.
 
----
 
----
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:'''Marge:''' Why don't you try reaching out to this new girl? See if you two have a common interest.
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{{qf|Homer}} This is such an eye-opener. I always pictured the kids dying in the living room.
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:'''Lisa:''' Hmm. Well, lots of people like jazz fusion. ''(she pulls out her sax and demonstrates)''
 
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:'''Marge:''' Okay, that's in the maybe file. What if you two bond over your [[Malibu Stacy]] dolls?
 
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:'''Lisa:''' They're not dolls, they're aspiration figures.
 
 
----
 
----
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:'''Homer:''' That baby-proofing crook wanted to sell us safety covers for the electrical outlets. But I'll just draw bunny faces on them to scare Maggie away. ''(he begins to draw)''
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{{qf|Marge}} Why don't you try reaching out to this new girl? See if you two have a common interest.
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:'''Marge:''' She's not afraid of bunnies.
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{{qf|Lisa}} Well, lots of people like jazz fusion... ''[plays jazz music]''
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:'''Homer:''' ''(ominously)'' She will be.
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{{qf|Marge}} Okay, that's in the "maybe" file.
 
----
 
----
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:'''Homer:''' Now, do you realize how unsafe the American home is? Baby accidents occur every three minutes.
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{{qf|Lisa}} Milhouse? She got you, too?
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:'''Marge:''' I'm the one who told you that!
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{{qf|[[Milhouse Van Houten]]}} Yeah. But it's not so bad, I'm standin' on Ralph.
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:'''Homer:''' Yeah, but this is me talkin'. Look! I already encased the phone in concrete.
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{{qf|[[Ralph Wiggum]]}} We're a totem pole. ''[chanting]'' Hiya, hiya, hoya, hiya!
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:'''Marge:''' How are you supposed to dial?
 
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:'''Homer:''' Reach into these holes. I use a carrot.
 
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:'''Marge:''' Isn't that a little excessive? I mean, how are the buttons dangerous?
 
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:'''Homer:''' Baby could order poison!
 
 
----
 
----
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:'''Lisa:''' Would you bullies be interested in some body guard work?
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{{qf|Homer}} Now do you realize how unsafe the American home is? Baby accidents occur every three minutes.
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:'''[[Nelson]]:''' Oh, this is so funny. We were just talking about moving into protection.
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{{qf|Marge}} I'm the one who told you that.
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:'''[[Dolph]]:''' We're offering a recess and lunch package that's very affordable.
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{{qf|Homer}} Yeah, but this is me talking.
 
----
 
----
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:'''Nelson:''' Sorry, we don't do girls. They bite and kick and scratch.
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{{qf|Homer}} Look, I already encased the telephone in concrete.
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:'''Dolph:''' And sometimes we fall in love.
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{{qf|Marge}} How are you supposed to dial?
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:''(the bullies sigh)''
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{{qf|Homer}} Reach into these holes. I use a carrot.
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:'''Lisa:''' Wow, there's so much I don't understand about bullying.
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{{qf|Marge}} Isn't that a little excessive? I mean, how are the buttons dangerous?
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:'''Nelson:''' Yeah, there's a lot of history there. Did you know is predates agriculture?
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{{qf|Homer}} Baby could order poison.
 +
{{qf|Marge}} Oh, that's ridiculous.
 +
:''[Homer dials]''
 +
{{qf|Poison Delivery Service}} Poison Delivery Service. A gift-basket of poisons is on its way.
 +
{{qf|Marge}} ''[ashamed]'' I'm a horrible mother.
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Of course you are.
 
----
 
----
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:'''Lisa:''' I just don't understand [[Francine]]'s motivation. Why does she only go after the smart ones?
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{{qf|[[Nelson Muntz]]}} Why ya throwing tomatoes at yourself? Huh? Why ya throwing tomatoes at yourself?
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:'''Nelson:''' That's like asking the square root of a million... no one will ever know.
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{{qf|[[Martin Prince]]}} Your very question is faulty!
 +
{{qf|[[Jimbo Jones]]}} You're faulty!
 
----
 
----
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:'''Lisa:''' [[Willie]], I need to see the school security tapes.
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{{qf|Nelson}} She?! Sorry, we don't do girls. They bite and kick and scratch...
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:'''Willie:''' Security tapes? There's no security tapes!
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{{qf|[[Dolph Shapiro]]}} And sometimes we fall in love...
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:'''Lisa:''' ''(pointing at a camera)'' It's hard to miss the cameras.
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:''[bullies wistfully sigh]''
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:'''Willie:''' Aye. Willie's a stinkin' liar.
 
 
----
 
----
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:'''Lisa:''' Why does the school need to watch us all the time?
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{{qf|Lisa}} Come on, people! Move it! I want to see some sweat!
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:'''Willie:''' School?
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{{qf|Martin}} I'm not mastering another stair until you explain the purpose of this monstrous experiment.
 +
{{qf|Lisa}} I believe the key to bully-nerd antagonism lies in your drippings.
 +
{{qf|Martin}} Then I shall drip like a pot roast.
 
----
 
----
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:''([[Milhouse]], [[Martin]] and [[Database]], all shirtless, are exercising on StairMasters)''
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{{qf|Lisa}} Mr. Tatum, do you mind if I swab you with this damp rag?
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:'''Lisa:''' Come on people! Move it! I want to see some sweat!
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{{qf|[[Drederick Tatum]]}} No, not at all. Swab away. Whoa, whoa, no one mentioned a beaker.
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:'''Martin:''' I'm not mastering another step until you explain the purpose of this monstrous experiment.
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{{qf|Lisa}} Please? It's for science.
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:'''Lisa:''' I believe the key to bully-nerd antagonism lies in your drippings.
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{{qf|Drederick Tatum}} Oh for science. In that case, proceed.
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:'''Martin:''' Then I shall drip like a pot roast.
 
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:'''Lisa:''' Excellent. Now don't mind the squeegee.
 
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:''(she scrapes sweat off of Martin's body)''
 
 
----
 
----
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:'''[[Principal Skinner]]:''' Thank you, [[Drederick Tatum]]. That was truly a K.O. - Knockout Oration. Heh.
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{{qf|Homer}} Babies of Springfield! We need your help! Please! Skin your knees! Put dice up your nose! Let cats sleep on your face!
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:'''[[Edna Krabappel]]:''' ''(flirting)'' Need a ride home?
 
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:'''Drederick Tatum:''' You really don't want that. Trust me.
 
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:'''Lisa:''' Mr. Tatum, do you mind if I swab you with this damp rag?
 
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:'''Drederick Tatum:''' No, not at all. Swab away.
 
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:''(Lisa pulls out a beaker and starts pouring something onto the rag)''
 
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:'''Drederick:''' Whoa, whoa! Nobody mentioned a beaker.
 
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:'''Lisa:''' Please? It's for science.
 
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:'''Drederick:''' Oh, for science! In that case, proceed.
 
 
----
 
----
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:'''Scientist''': The Problem? UFOs! (holds up a fake UFO on a string) The solution? This! (cuts string)
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{{qf|[[Professor Frink]]}} Scientists... Scientists, please... Looking for some order... some order please... with the eyes forward and the hands neatly... folded. And the pain. There'll be pain. Hmmm. Pi is exactly three!
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:'''Marge (watching):''' That's quite an act to follow, Lisa.
 
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:'''Lisa (stepping onto stage):''' I know, and the crowd is so distinguished. The inventor of the walkie-talkie is out there.
 
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:'''Marge (stepping after [[Lisa Simpson|her]]):''' Where?
 
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:'''Lisa:''' Third row, near the aisle.
 
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:'''Marge:''' ''(gasps)'' Ooh, you're right. And that's not his wife.
 
 
----
 
----
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:'''Lisa:''' But why do the bullies prey on the brainy? Is it jealousy? ''(the scientists murmur assent)'' No! The reason is chemical.
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{{qf|Lisa}} I have isolated the chemical which is emitted by every geek, dork, and four-eyes. I call it "[[Poindextrose]]".
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:''(the scientists murmur disagreement)''
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{{qf|Homer}} Woo hoo! Simpsons rule! Sorry.
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:'''Male researcher:''' Tha-that's impossible! Chemicals are our friends.
 
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:'''Dr. [[C. Everett Koop]]:''' She's a witch!
 
 
----
 
----
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:'''Lisa:''' I have isolated the chemical which is emitted by every geek, dork and four-eyes. I call is "[[Poindextrose]]".
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{{qf|Homer}} So all her bullying was just to get some attention.
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----
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{{qf|Lisa}} No, Dad! Didn't you listen to anything I said?
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(when [[Lisa]] shows off [[Poindextrose|her Bully repellent]])
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{{qf|Homer}} Just to get some attention.
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:'''Scientist:''' The little girl's invented some kind of bully repellent!
 
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:'''Lisa:''' ''(holding up an atomizer)'' Actually, it's just ordinary salad dressing.
 
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:'''Marge:''' So that's where that went.
 
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:'''Lisa:''' The pungent vinegar and tangy Roquefort blocked the smell receptors, rendering the bully harmless.
 
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:'''Homer:''' So all her bullying was just to get some attention.
 
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:'''Lisa:''' No, Dad! Didn't you listen to anything I said?
 
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:'''Homer:''' Just to get some attention.
 
  
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{{Season 12 Q}}
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{{Season 12|Q}}

Latest revision as of 17:37, May 21, 2026


Season 12 Episode Quotes
← 263 "Hungry, Hungry Homer"
264
"Bye, Bye, Nerdie"
"Simpson Safari" 265 →


Marge: [horrified sound] Homer, you're still here? You should've left for work an hour ago!
Homer: They said if I come in late again, I'm fired. I can't take that chance.
Marge: I did it! I caught the school bus. Now hurry up and get on.
Lisa: But Mom, the school's right here.
Marge: I won. Don't take that away from me.
Lisa: Oh, it's tough being the new kid. Someone should go talk to her.
Bart: Yeah, somebody should. One-hour dry cleaner. Man, that's fast.
Homer: Kids gone?
Marge: Yep. It's great to have some time just to ourselves, huh?
Homer: You read my mind. Sooo... This coffee's good, huh?
Marge: Yeah. The uh... the milk really takes the edge off.
Homer: You know, I think our marriage is...
Sales lady: Your baby is dead.
[Homer and Marge scream]
Sales lady: That's what you'd hear if your baby fell victim to the thousands of deathtraps lurking in the average American home.
Marge: [reading] "Springfield Baby-Proofing"?
Homer: You...you really scared us.
Sales lady: Sorry about that. But the truth is, your baby, Maggie Simpson, is dead!
[Homer and Marge scream]
Sales lady: Dead tired of baby-proofers who don't provide a free estimate. Let's start in the kitchen.
Sales lady: Now, pretend I'm a baby. [baby voice] Goo goo. Me wike to expwore.
Homer: That's a pretty big caboose for a baby.
Marge: Homer! Don't be... Wow, that is huge.
Homer: This is such an eye-opener. I always pictured the kids dying in the living room.
Marge: Why don't you try reaching out to this new girl? See if you two have a common interest.
Lisa: Well, lots of people like jazz fusion... [plays jazz music]
Marge: Okay, that's in the "maybe" file.
Lisa: Milhouse? She got you, too?
Milhouse Van Houten: Yeah. But it's not so bad, I'm standin' on Ralph.
Ralph Wiggum: We're a totem pole. [chanting] Hiya, hiya, hoya, hiya!
Homer: Now do you realize how unsafe the American home is? Baby accidents occur every three minutes.
Marge: I'm the one who told you that.
Homer: Yeah, but this is me talking.
Homer: Look, I already encased the telephone in concrete.
Marge: How are you supposed to dial?
Homer: Reach into these holes. I use a carrot.
Marge: Isn't that a little excessive? I mean, how are the buttons dangerous?
Homer: Baby could order poison.
Marge: Oh, that's ridiculous.
[Homer dials]
Poison Delivery Service: Poison Delivery Service. A gift-basket of poisons is on its way.
Marge: [ashamed] I'm a horrible mother.
Homer: Of course you are.
Nelson Muntz: Why ya throwing tomatoes at yourself? Huh? Why ya throwing tomatoes at yourself?
Martin Prince: Your very question is faulty!
Jimbo Jones: You're faulty!
Nelson: She?! Sorry, we don't do girls. They bite and kick and scratch...
Dolph Shapiro: And sometimes we fall in love...
[bullies wistfully sigh]
Lisa: Come on, people! Move it! I want to see some sweat!
Martin: I'm not mastering another stair until you explain the purpose of this monstrous experiment.
Lisa: I believe the key to bully-nerd antagonism lies in your drippings.
Martin: Then I shall drip like a pot roast.
Lisa: Mr. Tatum, do you mind if I swab you with this damp rag?
Drederick Tatum: No, not at all. Swab away. Whoa, whoa, no one mentioned a beaker.
Lisa: Please? It's for science.
Drederick Tatum: Oh for science. In that case, proceed.
Homer: Babies of Springfield! We need your help! Please! Skin your knees! Put dice up your nose! Let cats sleep on your face!
Professor Frink: Scientists... Scientists, please... Looking for some order... some order please... with the eyes forward and the hands neatly... folded. And the pain. There'll be pain. Hmmm. Pi is exactly three!
Lisa: I have isolated the chemical which is emitted by every geek, dork, and four-eyes. I call it "Poindextrose".
Homer: Woo hoo! Simpsons rule! Sorry.
Homer: So all her bullying was just to get some attention.
Lisa: No, Dad! Didn't you listen to anything I said?
Homer: Just to get some attention.
Season 12 Quotes
Treehouse of Horror XI • A Tale of Two Springfields • Insane Clown Poppy • Lisa the Tree Hugger • Homer vs. Dignity • The Computer Wore Menace Shoes • The Great Money Caper • Skinner's Sense of Snow • HOMЯ • Pokey Mom • Worst Episode Ever • Tennis the Menace • Day of the Jackanapes • New Kids on the Blecch • Hungry, Hungry Homer • Bye, Bye, Nerdie • Simpson Safari • Trilogy of Error • I'm Goin' to Praiseland • Children of a Lesser Clod • Simpsons Tall Tales
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