Difference between revisions of "Greased Irony"

Latest revision as of 14:06, May 17, 2025

Greased Irony

Tapped Out Quest Information Level: 5 Update: Springfield Choppers Required characters: Wolfguy Jack Optional characters: Squeaky Voice Teen Internal name(s): GreasedIrony ID(s): 242012 - 242016

Greased Irony is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Springfield Choppers content update. It requires Wolfguy Jack to be obtained.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Wolfguy Jack's exclamation mark Come on in. Welcome to Greaser's Café. You've got your pick of booths made of old cars. I've got a hot rod open and a '55 Chevy Bel Air. The whole family's here so we're gonna need one with some serious suspension. Well, the Ford Super Deluxe in the back corner just opened up. Perfect. Where are all my employees! Yes, sir. I need you to stand outside and get some more butts in these seats! But sir, I thought my job was flipping burgers, frying fries, and watering down the soda fountain? Look, if you don't think standing outside spinning a sign will help, then how else do we turn this place around? Uh...you could try improving the food quality. Like, maybe start putting real cheese on the burgers? What do you mean? Our cheese is legal. Sir, the label says 100% American Singles Processed Cheese-Like Product. Okay, fine. I'll get real cheese for the burgers... I have some other ideas as well. I'm listening. Task: "Make Wolfguy Jack Update the Menu". The job takes place at Greaser's Cafe and takes 4 hours. If Squeaky Voice Teen is owned: Task: "Make Squeaky Voice Teen Order Actual Cheese". The job takes place at Greaser's Cafe and takes 4 hours. I don't know what half of this stuff you ordered even is. Meat that's not meat? Gluten-free buns? Truffle oil? You put it on the fries. Okay. But what does it do, man? It lets you charge people 11 dollars for fries! Whoa, that's three times the price of our burgers! Can we also put this "truffle oil" in the milkshakes? Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Wolfguy Jack's exclamation mark Uh, excuse me. My burger doesn't taste like a normal burger. That's because it's not a normal burger! It's the new Preposteburger™. Made entirely of plants and laced with synthetic burger-like flavoring! Oh, great. Well then here's my payment. Uh, this isn't real money. No, it's money-like currency. These fries are not fries. They're made of sweet potatoes. I want my money back or I will write a terrible review. I'm not sure I can turn this around. Task: "Make Wolfguy Jack Defend the New Menu". The job takes place at Greaser's Cafe and takes 4 hours. If Squeaky Voice Teen is owned: Task: "Make Squeaky Voice Teen Stock Gluten Free Burger Buns". The job takes place at Greaser's Cafe and takes 4 hours. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Wolfguy Jack's exclamation mark Sir, I don't think this new direction is working. I haven't had a single request for our new locally-sourced gluten-free buns. Do you have any sort of secret backup plan to keep us from going out of business? Well, usually when I'm sad I just go up on the roof and talk to nearby truckers on my CB radio. My call sign is WLF. But how does that help the restaurant? It doesn't. Makes me feel better, though. Task: "Make Wolfguy Jack Hit the Airwaves". The job takes place at Greaser's Cafe and takes 60 minutes. If Squeaky Voice Teen is owned: Task: "Make Squeaky Voice Teen Tap Local Craft Brews". The job takes place at Greaser's Cafe and takes 4 hours. Whoo-doggy! Set your socks on "hop" and your tutti to "frutti" because this place is more packed than a dance hall with an open bar! Who are all these people? I'm seeing a lot of scarves, vintage tee-shirts, and Pharrell-sized hats. Welcome to Greaser's Café. Can I ask...how did you guys hear about us? Oh, it was all the rage on the CB airwaves last night. This one guy wouldn't stop talking about the place. You guys listen to the CB? You're all truckers? Oh, we're not truckers. We're hipsters. We all just happen to own vintage radios. Well, however you heard about us, I'm glad you're here. I hope you enjoy our cool '50s memorabilia on the walls and our booths made of old cars. Oh, yeah. We love all of that. I mean...ironically of course. But yes, we love/hate it. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Wolfguy Jack's exclamation mark Alright, hepcats. It's time for a doo-woppin' dance off! The winner will take home this brand-new...Harley-Davidson! ... I, uh...was really expecting a bigger response than that. Maybe they don't know what a Harley-Davidson is? I repeat: the winner of the contest will take home this BRAND NEW MOTORCYCLE! ... Okay, um, uh... How about...the winner of the dance contest will take home this vintage bicycle! A vintage bicycle? Woo! I'm in! It's a one-of-a-kind! No one else can have that bicycle but me! Greaser's Cafe is the best! Task: "Make Wolfguy Jack Have a Dance Contest". The job takes 4 hours. If Squeaky Voice Teen is owned: Task: "Make Squeaky Voice Teen Buy Organic Grass-Fed Cage-Free Lettuce". The job takes place at Greaser's Cafe and takes 4 hours. I can't believe my luck! I used to have to give away expensive motorcycles just to promote the restaurant, and it killed the budget. But all these hipsters want are crappy old repainted bicycles! I'm gonna save a fortune! Hey, uh, if you need a supplier for old bicycles, I got you covered. Are they vintage? As vintage as your old menu items: "Allen Ginsburgers, Un-American Cheese Sandwiches, Polio Dogs..." Yeah, I can't believe this business survived at all with that menu. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 5[edit]

After tapping on Wolfguy Jack's exclamation mark Wha – it's 7pm, where is everybody? The dance contest is starting in ten minutes and I've got a vintage penny-farthing to give away. None of the hipsters showed up tonight. Do you think it's because I accidentally bought the wrong kind of soy-based pickles? Wait, there's two of 'em there. Hey you two! Where are all your friends? Why is nobody at my café tonight? Oh, uh...yeah. Greaser's just isn't the same anymore ever since everybody started coming here. Yeah, it used to be cool, now it's lame. Wait, we're not cool because we got too cool?! Yeah, we're just back here because I forgot my beard comb. Oh, there it is! But...I just expanded the café hours to include Saturday brunch and added avocado toast to the menu! Sorry, dude. Avocado toast is very, um, last decade. You could add a drive-through. Then we could eat some of your food in our cars without being seen. Task: "Make Wolfguy Jack Add a Drive-Through". The job takes place at Greaser's Cafe and takes 4 hours. If Squeaky Voice Teen is owned: Task: "Make Squeaky Voice Teen Try to Return Soy Pickles". The job takes place at Greaser's Cafe and takes 4 hours. Sir, adding that drive-through seems to have really picked up business. Yeah. But it's just not the same. Greaser's Cafe was about the doo-wop dancing and 1950s experience. Oh well. At least we're making money. Quest reward: 200 and 20