Difference between revisions of "The Principal and the Pauper/Quotes"
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{{qf|[[Edna Krabappel]]}} Oh, Superintendent Chalmers! Can I offer you a cup of coffee-flavored Bevering? | {{qf|[[Edna Krabappel]]}} Oh, Superintendent Chalmers! Can I offer you a cup of coffee-flavored Bevering? | ||
| − | {{qf|[[ | + | {{qf|[[Chalmers]]}} Yeah, I take it gray with Cremium. But first, before Skinner shows up, I have a secret announcement. In honor of Seymour's twentieth year as principal, we've decided to hold a surprise tribute Friday night. |
| − | {{qf|[[ | + | {{qf|[[Willie]]}} It's my twentieth year, too. |
{{qf|Chalmers}} ''[rolling his eyes]'' The teachers' lounge is for teachers, Willie. | {{qf|Chalmers}} ''[rolling his eyes]'' The teachers' lounge is for teachers, Willie. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
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---- | ---- | ||
{{qf|Lisa}} ...so, in 1966, a brave young man named Seymour Skinner enlisted and shipped out to Vietnam where he rose to become platoon sergeant. Ralph? | {{qf|Lisa}} ...so, in 1966, a brave young man named Seymour Skinner enlisted and shipped out to Vietnam where he rose to become platoon sergeant. Ralph? | ||
| − | {{qf|[[ | + | {{qf|[[Ralph]]}} Principal Skinner is an old man who lives at the school. Lisa? |
{{qf|Lisa}} Sergeant Skinner was a hero. He risked capture many times behind enemy lines. | {{qf|Lisa}} Sergeant Skinner was a hero. He risked capture many times behind enemy lines. | ||
{{qf|Ralph}} Teacher made me go to Principal Skinner's office when I was dirty. | {{qf|Ralph}} Teacher made me go to Principal Skinner's office when I was dirty. | ||
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{{qf|Ralph}} When I grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar. I love you, Principal Skinner. | {{qf|Ralph}} When I grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar. I love you, Principal Skinner. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf|[[Homer]]}} ''[in his mind, after Skinner says he's a fraud]'' | + | {{qf|[[Homer]]}} ''[in his mind, after Skinner says he's a fraud]'' Keep looking shocked... and move slowly towards the cake. |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf|Edna}} Is this the line for people who want to badmouth Sergeant Skinner? | + | {{qf|[[Edna]]}} Is this the line for people who want to badmouth Sergeant Skinner? |
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} And have 10 items or less. | {{qf|[[Marge]]}} And have 10 items or less. | ||
{{qf|Edna}} ''[tossing out items]'' 12, 11, 10, the man's a weenie! | {{qf|Edna}} ''[tossing out items]'' 12, 11, 10, the man's a weenie! | ||
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{{qf|Homer}} Look, lady, obviously you have at least one son. | {{qf|Homer}} Look, lady, obviously you have at least one son. | ||
{{qf|Agnes}} No! I have one stranger and one fraud! | {{qf|Agnes}} No! I have one stranger and one fraud! | ||
| − | {{qf|Skinner/Armin}} My real name is... Armin Tamzarian! | + | {{qf|[[Skinner]]/Armin}} My real name is... Armin Tamzarian! |
:''[Bart laughs]'' | :''[Bart laughs]'' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf|Skinner/Armin}} The judge offered me a choice — jail, the army, or apologize to the judge and old lady. Of course, if I knew there was a | + | {{qf|Skinner/Armin}} The judge offered me a choice — jail, the army, or apologize to the judge and old lady. Of course, if I knew there was a {{W|Vietnam War|war going on}}, I probably would have apologized. |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf|Chalmers}} Armin Tamzarian's reign of terror is over! Now let us welcome our new principal Skinner... principal Seymour Skinner!... ''[audience is confused. He points to | + | {{qf|Chalmers}} Armin Tamzarian's reign of terror is over! Now let us welcome our new principal Skinner... principal Seymour Skinner!... ''[audience is confused. He points to {{ap|Seymour Skinner|The Principal and the Pauper|Sgt. Skinner}}]'' Uh, him. |
---- | ---- | ||
{{qf|Homer}} Okay, once more. Where are we going? | {{qf|Homer}} Okay, once more. Where are we going? | ||
| − | {{qf| | + | {{qf|Edna}} To [[Capital City]]. |
{{qf|Homer}} And why are you and the old lady in the car? | {{qf|Homer}} And why are you and the old lady in the car? | ||
{{qf|Agnes}} We're gonna talk [[Seymour Skinner|Armin Tamzarian]] into coming back. | {{qf|Agnes}} We're gonna talk [[Seymour Skinner|Armin Tamzarian]] into coming back. | ||
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{{qf|Marge}} Because the streets of Capital City are no place for three unescorted ladies. | {{qf|Marge}} Because the streets of Capital City are no place for three unescorted ladies. | ||
{{qf|Homer}} Why are the kids here? | {{qf|Homer}} Why are the kids here? | ||
| − | {{qf|Marge}} Because we couldn't find | + | {{qf|Marge}} Because we couldn't find Grandpa to sit for them. |
{{qf|Homer}} And why is Grandpa here? | {{qf|Homer}} And why is Grandpa here? | ||
| − | {{qf|Abe}} Because [[ | + | {{qf|[[Abe]]}} Because [[Jasper]] didn't want to come by himself! |
| − | :''[Jasper looks at Abe]'' | + | :''[Jasper looks at Abe.]'' |
{{qf|Homer}} Fair enough. | {{qf|Homer}} Fair enough. | ||
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{{qf|Homer}} Not if they were called Scumdrops. | {{qf|Homer}} Not if they were called Scumdrops. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf|Skinner}} Why are we stopping at my school, Mother? | + | {{qf|Skinner}} Why are we stopping at my school, Mother? What does it say on that sign? |
| − | {{qf|Agnes}} | + | {{qf|Agnes}} ''[smacks him]'' I don't like your tone! |
{{Season 9|Q}} | {{Season 9|Q}} | ||
{{DEFAULTSORT:Principal and the Pauper/Quotes}} | {{DEFAULTSORT:Principal and the Pauper/Quotes}} | ||
Latest revision as of 02:27, October 16, 2021
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- Edna Krabappel: Oh, Superintendent Chalmers! Can I offer you a cup of coffee-flavored Bevering?
- Chalmers: Yeah, I take it gray with Cremium. But first, before Skinner shows up, I have a secret announcement. In honor of Seymour's twentieth year as principal, we've decided to hold a surprise tribute Friday night.
- Willie: It's my twentieth year, too.
- Chalmers: [rolling his eyes] The teachers' lounge is for teachers, Willie.
- Lisa: Ralph and I could do the report together.
- Miss Hoover: Your funeral.
- Lisa: ...so, in 1966, a brave young man named Seymour Skinner enlisted and shipped out to Vietnam where he rose to become platoon sergeant. Ralph?
- Ralph: Principal Skinner is an old man who lives at the school. Lisa?
- Lisa: Sergeant Skinner was a hero. He risked capture many times behind enemy lines.
- Ralph: Teacher made me go to Principal Skinner's office when I was dirty.
- Lisa: And he survived to make it back to Springfield, where he became the fine educator we salute tonight.
- Ralph: When I grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar. I love you, Principal Skinner.
- Homer: [in his mind, after Skinner says he's a fraud] Keep looking shocked... and move slowly towards the cake.
- Edna: Is this the line for people who want to badmouth Sergeant Skinner?
- Marge: And have 10 items or less.
- Edna: [tossing out items] 12, 11, 10, the man's a weenie!
- Agnes Skinner: I have no son!
- Homer: Look, lady, obviously you have at least one son.
- Agnes: No! I have one stranger and one fraud!
- Skinner/Armin: My real name is... Armin Tamzarian!
- [Bart laughs]
- Skinner/Armin: The judge offered me a choice — jail, the army, or apologize to the judge and old lady. Of course, if I knew there was a war going on, I probably would have apologized.
- Chalmers: Armin Tamzarian's reign of terror is over! Now let us welcome our new principal Skinner... principal Seymour Skinner!... [audience is confused. He points to Sgt. Skinner] Uh, him.
- Homer: Okay, once more. Where are we going?
- Edna: To Capital City.
- Homer: And why are you and the old lady in the car?
- Agnes: We're gonna talk Armin Tamzarian into coming back.
- Homer: And why is Marge here?
- Marge: I came up with the idea.
- Homer: And why am I here?
- Marge: Because the streets of Capital City are no place for three unescorted ladies.
- Homer: Why are the kids here?
- Marge: Because we couldn't find Grandpa to sit for them.
- Homer: And why is Grandpa here?
- Abe: Because Jasper didn't want to come by himself!
- [Jasper looks at Abe.]
- Homer: Fair enough.
- Skinner/Armin: From now on, you'll see a new Seymour Skinner!
- Agnes: Oh, no; we won't!
- Skinner/Armin: Yes, Mother.
- Lisa: A Rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
- Bart: Not if you called 'em Stenchblossoms.
- Homer: Or Crapweeds.
- Marge: I'd sure hate to get a dozen Crapweeds for Valentine's Day. I'd rather have candy.
- Homer: Not if they were called Scumdrops.
- Skinner: Why are we stopping at my school, Mother? What does it say on that sign?
- Agnes: [smacks him] I don't like your tone!
