War Is Smelly!/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
- Lisa: I'm doing an assignment on World War Two. And I thought I could record you telling me your experiences in the army.
- Grampa: You want to talk to me?
- Lisa: Yes.
- Grampa: You want to ask me questions and hear my answers?
- Lisa: Yes.
- Grampa: I'm the luckiest old man on Earth!
- Grampa: You want to know about the war, girly? Well, I'll tell you stuff you won't find in any history book. About how your ol' grampa saved a whole village from the Ratzis when I was a Flying Hellfish... Every day was a lead birthday with TNT candles on a cake made of pure hate. Our lives weren't worth two bits that night over France in 1944...
- Asa Phelps: What is it, Simpson?
- Abe: My gal wrote me to tell me she's cheating on me with Clark Gable.
- Sheldon Skinner: Gee, that stinks fella.
- Abe: And Humphrey Bogart. And John Wayne. And Gabby Hayes. And Shemp Howard. And...
- Arnie Gumble: Oh boy.
- Grampa: Ham Salad Hill was nothin' but a heapin' pile of pure suicide! The toughest of the tough and the bravest of the brave were sent to take it from Hitler's goons. Sgt. Brick and Crazy Company... Sgt. Furry and his Howling K-9 Kommandos... ...and the Whitehawks. They all came back looking like they'd gone ten rounds in a bagful of mean-drunk gorillas.
- George S. Patton: I'd rather &%#$ my $@#& then send you &@%$s into this battle. But all the good soldiers are dead or ran away!
- Iggy Wiggum: He sounds like Minnie Mouse in jodhpurs.
- Arnie Gumble: Hee hee!
- General Patton: What's so &%#@in' funny?
- Iggy Wiggum: Ow!
- Abe: Ooh!
- Arnie Gumble: Wowtch!
- Sheldon Skinner: Eep!
- General Patton: Now get your &%#$ up there and try not to trip over your own @&$%!
- Grampa: The Hellfish loaded up with ammo, grenades, and sheer guts. We were gonna get to the top of Ham Salad Hill the only way we knew how.
- Abe: We give up!
- Mr. Burns: We'd like to capitulate please!
- Abe: Any of you squareheads know the lady in that photo?
- The Iron Skull: Ach! Those moonlit nights in der Hofbrau!
- The Clockwork Nazi: Oh ja! [KLIK] She made my glockenspiel!
- The Terrycloth Major: Lola Bonanza! Woooooo!
- Abe: That's all I needed to hear, ya philanderin' fascists! Grrrr!
