Treehouse of Chimps/Quotes

Quotes

Professor Frink: Day twenty-seven since I injected these three chimps with my patent-pending PIE formula. In order to simulate average human activity, I am having my subjects [ga-hey!] watch television. I am, to quote Pascal, "pleased as 3.14159" with my results.

Professor Frink: Apparently, Einstein was wrong. It turns out there is free will.

Bart: I can't wait until we're old enough to get jobs. Then life will be easy!

Milhouse Van Houten: My dad says, "School is the best time of our lives. Once we get married, everything falls apart."

Bart: Milhouse, how often do I have to tell you, never listen to your dad?

Bart: Homer, what are you doing home at 3 o'clock?

Homer: Dunno... Coffee break, I guess. What are you two weenies up to?

Bart: The monkeys have taken over our treehouse!

Homer: The dynamic '60s pop group are in your treehouse?! The Pre-Fab Four? This is so exciting!! I've always dreamt of a Monkees reunion!

Bart: No, these are real monkeys.

Homer: Ah, you got my hopes up for nothing.

Milhouse: I'm starting to think these aren't your average monkeys.

Bart: No big apes are going to keep me out of my own treehouse!

Milhouse: Uh... I think they already did.

Bart: Well, no big apes are going to keep me out of my own treehouse twice!

Bart: We need your help, Lisa! These ultra-intelligent monkeys won't get out of our treehouse.

Milhouse: Yeah! They're really harshing our mellow!

Chimp: First off, we are chimps, not monkeys. And it is not kung fu, it is savate. The dignified martial art of French foot fighting.

Bart: You can talk!

Chimp: Of course we can! If you can do it, how hard can it really be?

Bart: He's got us there.

Bart: Welcome to Moe's!

Chimp: Good heavens! What a find! Why, the smells alone are pungently mind-boggling!

Moe Szyslak: Aw, nuts! We got monkeys, now? I'm already bribing the health inspector to call the rats infesting this place "family pets." Get those freeloaders outta here before I have Uncle Charlie here give 'em a buckshot lesson in manners!

Chimp: Barkeep, I assure you we are well-paying customers. We've made a small fortune selling our reality show pitches to the television networks.

Moe: In that case, when I said "smelly freeloaders," I meant these bums!

Homer: Hey!

Lenny Leonard: Huh?