  
The Krusty-est Place On Earth
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
| The Krusty-est Place On Earth
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Tapped Out Quest Information
| Level:
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25
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| Update:
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Krustyland
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| Required characters:
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Krusty, Homer, Cletus, Bart, Lisa, Milhouse, Martin, Comic Book Guy, Wiggum, Nelson, Carl, Lenny
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| Internal name(s):
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TheKrustyestPlaceOnEarth
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| ID(s):
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9600
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The Krusty-est Place On Earth is a questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Krustyland content update. It unlocks Krustyland characters, buildings, and decorations.
Dialogue[edit]
| After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark
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Ugh. Can someone tell me why the same dogs run every race at our track?
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And why, given that, a TV clown would blow his entire fortune betting on said races?
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Krusty? You're broke?
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No, broke means you have zero. I am millions in debt. If I was only broke, I'd be the richest jerk on earth.
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Why don't you just re-open Krustyland and make your money back?
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Krustyland is a mess. They never tell you how expensive the "maintenance" part of a theme park is.
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Or how when you don't pay "maintenance," and one ride topples onto another ride and careens into a crowded midway, it can also be expensive.
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Then again, rebuilding Krustyland would be a great way to kill time, and keep people from focusing on more important tasks like work and school.
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Anything I can do to harm America's productivity. Let's do it!
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| Task: "Place the Krustyland Shuttle".
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Quest reward:  100 and  10
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| After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark
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The old Krustyland is a dump. Where am I gonna find a schmuck fakakta enough to clean up this mess.
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Ooh, Yiddish -- that often leads to Latkes.
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Hey hey! Welcome to Krustyland!
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Step right up to our newest attraction: Grab That Girder Over There and Drag It, Then Every Other Girder, to Somewhere the Truck Can Get to Them More Easily!
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Long name. Sounds fun!
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| Task: "Make Homer Cleanup the Krustyland Shuttle". The job takes place at Krustyland Shuttle and takes 6 seconds.
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Quest reward:  20 and 10
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| After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
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I gotta say, Krusty, the girder-dragging ride at Disneyland is better.
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And why reward me with these stupid tickets? A guy like me is used to getting paid in cold, hard pretend money.
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Those are Krustyland Tickets! They're like money but more... fun! Hoo Hoo Ha Ha!
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Also, you're going to need those tickets to rebuild the Krustyland Entrance. So hand 'em over!
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| Task: "Build the Krustyland Entrance". It takes 6 seconds.
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark
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The harder it is for people to find their way around a theme park, the less time they spend on its fragile, deadly rides.
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I need a boneheaded, twisting, counterintuitive layout for this place. Where's that guy from before?
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Hi, Mr. The Klown -- I'm that guy from before. I want to once again lodge a complaint about being paid in your personal scrip instead of money.
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And I look forward to that conversation. Right after you try our latest attraction: Build A Path!
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| Task: "Place Krustyland Paths" (x4).
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
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You know, this theme park is starting to feel a lot like work.
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But, if I may finish that thought, it's all worth it when you get your payout of Krustyland Tickets.
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Is that how that thought finishes? Well, I guess I can't tell my thoughts what to think. Okay, what's next?
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Now comes the important stuff.
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The rides are just a way to bring customers -- or, as we call them in the industry, "Fat Dummies Deserving of What They Get" -- into the park.
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I didn't know we had a nickname! Pretty sweet.
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But it's the rigged, unwinnable midway games where you make the real dough.
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| Task: "Place the Ring Toss Stall".
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark
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Okay, Homer, are you ready to run the Ring Toss stall?
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Run it? But I want to play!
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Don't waste your time... the rings aren't big enough to land on any of the prizes.
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Looks easy enough. Just watch. *clink* Whoops. Okay, just one more. *clink*
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One more. *clink* One more...
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Ugh. Looks like I'm going to need someone else to run the stall.
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Task: "Make Cletus Run the Ring Toss Stall". The job takes place at Ring Toss and takes 12 hours.
Task: "Make Homer Play at the Ring Toss Game" (x3). The job takes place at Ring Toss and takes 4 hours.
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After completing Pt. 6
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Krusty, you haven't rebuilt my favorite ride yet. Where's the infamous Death Drop?
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You didn't shut it down just because of one tiny little class action lawsuit filed by five thousand hospitalized children?
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Ugh. Maybe that one's better left unbuilt.
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Actually, it was our safest ride.
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| Task: "Build the Death Drop". It takes 12 hours.
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Barts's exclamation mark
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The Death Drop is ready! Just look at all that beautiful rust. Race you to it!
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I don't know, Bart. It looks like a big kid ride.
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WWell I suppose I could try it once... if Lisa holds my hand.
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On the off chance that we survive this ride, no way. I'd never respect my hand again.
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Task: "Make Bart Ride the Death Drop" (x2). The job takes place at the Death Drop and takes 30 minutes.
Task: "Make Lisa Ride the Death Drop". The job takes place at the Death Drop and takes 30 minutes.
Task: "Make Milhouse Ride the Death Drop". The job takes place at the Death Drop and takes 30 minutes.
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Woooo! That was awesome. I'm going to ride it again!
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II think I'm done for now... what about you, Milhouse?
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Milhouse?
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*vomiting*
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
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We've run out of room to build.
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Guess I'll go back to my regular jobs, of which there are now so many it's a real pain to scroll down the list and find the one you want.
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Krustyland is out of room? Then you're in luck -- there's a job for that!
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| Message
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You've received a free land token.
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| Task: "Buy a Land Expansion".
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
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All this work is making me hungry. Where can I get some food?
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We could probably scrape together a decent Krusty Burger from what's in the freezer.
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Yup, there's still some "meat" in there.
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Mmmmm... scraped, quotation-marks meat.
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| Task: "Reach Level 21 and Build Krustyland Burger". It takes 24 hours.
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
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Woo Hoo! Krusty Burger, here I come!
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Hey, Bart! Let's grab a Laffy Meal! It comes with a toy from the movie Green Lantern 2: Seriously, a Second Green Lantern?
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I'll go on the Death Drop, while you eat a Laffy Meal. We'll see who barfs first!
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Task: "Make Homer Eat at Krustyland Burger". The job takes place at Krustyland Burger and takes 30 minutes.
Task: "Make Bart Ride the Death Drop". The job takes place at the Death Drop and takes 30 minutes.
Task: "Make Milhouse Eat at Krustyland Burger". The job takes place at Krustyland Burger and takes 30 minutes.
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Bart's exclamation mark
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Hey, what gives?
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People have been on these rides all day and nobody's dead. We've come to expect a good deal more maiming from our beloved Krustyland.
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I don't want to grow up to be one of those guys who doesn't have a childhood story about the kid he knew who died at an amusement park.
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Hello, Bartholomew! Fancy a go on the ol' Death Drop with yours truly?
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Come on, Krusty -- if Martin's having fun in your park, you KNOW you're doing something wrong!
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Everybody chill out.
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If you want excitement, if you want hair-raising peril, just wait 'til you see my next attraction... the Knock Over the Fuzzy Guy Stall!
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Oy vey.
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Task: "Place the Knock Over the Fuzzy Guy Stall".
Task: "Make Martin Try Knock Over the Fuzzy Guy". The job takes place at Knock Over The Fuzzy Guy and takes 60 minutes.
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Take THAT!... and THAT!
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Ow! Hey! You're only allowed to throw balls at the little men!
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I'm sorry, Mr. Carny. I have a lot of pent-up anger due to my unpopularity and constant targeting by bullies at school.
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Maybe you should look for a doctor, Martin.
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Thank you, Bart. That's excellent advice.
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Ow! Hey! Who's throwing balls at me?
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Bart's exclamation mark
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Krusty, you've lost your edge.
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Don't say that, kid! I'm an afternoon TV clown.
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If I'm not making my living on the bleeding edge, my audience of six-year-olds will find someone who is!
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Here, you want danger? You want risk? How about...
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| Task: "Reach Level 22 and Build Sleeping Itchy's Castle". It takes 24 hours.
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark
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Okay, I admit it! The new Krustyland is safe, family-friendly, and all the other horrible things you say!
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The guy I suckered into building it just did too good a job. And now I have to find a way to live with the excellent results.
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I never wanted to be in the business of pleasing people, but that's the hand I was dealt.
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So I'm going with it -- Krustyland is going to be the People-Pleasing-est Place On Earth!
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I'm going to be the first clown in history to make people happy!
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| Task: "Make Krusty Get Serious". The job takes 8 hours.
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
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Hey, I think this Ring Toss game is RIGGED!
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I've told you that a hundred times! Look, forget it. From now on, no more cheating our schmucks. I mean, our "valued customers."
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Though it makes my pancake makeup-caked skin crawl to say it, let's build a game that isn't rigged. A real people-pleaser.
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| Task: "Place Sideshow You".
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Now any jerk -- I mean, "respected patron" -- can waltz in and get free Tickets.
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Don't mind if I do!
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| Message
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You can now play the Balloon Pop game for free Tickets!
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| Message
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Just tap on Sideshow You and get popping!
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| Message
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Comic Book Guy will now appear in Krustyland when he's not doing jobs in Springfield!
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| After tapping on Comic Book Guy's exclamation mark
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Excuse me? I wish to commemorate my visit here by purchasing Krustyland collectibles. Where are they for sale?
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Uh, nowhere. I'm trying this new thing where I treat my customers good. And everyone knows collectibles are a huge rip-off, right?
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On the contrary. With the rise of the modern nerd, limited-edition plastic crap is now a safer investment than gold.
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I have a mint-in-box vinyl-caped Jawa that is worth more than Delaware.
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Besides, shopping is all this country is good at anymore. Might as well play to our strengths.
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One shop, coming up!
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| Task: "Reach Level 23 and Build the Gift Shop". It takes 24 hours.
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark
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Hey, you seem to know a lot about theme parks. You want to help me make Krustyland the best it can be?
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Not now, I'm shopping for toys.
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Right. But I'm offering you a highly-paid--
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SHOPPING!
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| Task: "Make Comic Book Guy Visit the Gift Shop". The job takes place at the Gift Shop and takes 60 minutes.
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark
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Uhh, these people are pigs! There's trash all over the place!
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Maybe we should build some garbage cans. And a recycling station, so people can reduce their carbon footprints.
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Recycling? Isn't that what you do to jokes, gags and bits?
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You can also do it to trash.
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Sounds expensive. Let's stick with the garbage cans.
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| Task: "Place Garbage Bins" (x3).
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After completing Pt. 18
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Hold on just a second there, Krusty.
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I'm here to inspect your rides. And if I know Krustyland, they're not going to be up to snuff.
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I just hope SOMEONE doesn't leave an envelope of money lying around, where it easily could bribe me.
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Actually, Chief, the fella who rebuilt all my rides did a great job. It feels weird to say this, but I think my park is legal.
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Oh. Well, that stinks. What's the point in having lawmen if they're not out there on the street collecting bribes?
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If you like, I could fake-bribe you with near-worthless park tickets.
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Gee, would ya? That'd be swell.
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| Task: "Make Wiggum Collect Krustyland Bribes". The job takes place at Ring Toss and takes 4 hours.
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Wiggum's exclamation mark
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So, I can spend these tickets anywhere in Krustyland, right?
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Anywhere at all! Blackout dates apply, some attractions excluded, prices subject to the whims of an oft-drunk clown.
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Sounds great!
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Task: "Make Wiggum Eat at Krustyland Burger". The job takes place at Krustyland Burger and takes 30 minutes.
Task: "Make Wiggum Take Part in a Sing-Along". The job takes place at Sleeping Itchy's Castle and takes 8 hours.
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark
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Listen, Comic Book Guy. You know theme parks. How would you rate mine?
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I absolutely love it. One-and-a-half stars.
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Yikes. That's kinda harsh.
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Well, your rides are dated. They move too much.
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A truly first-rate modern ride is where you sit in a fake car and watch a 3-D movie that almost convinces you you're moving in real life.
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That's moronic!
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Also, you need to have a tie-in to a successful movie. Or, as a last resort, a long-running primetime animated TV show.
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But what money-grubbing TV cartoon would be desperate enough to lend its good name to a ride where you only pretend to be on a ride?
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A good point. Surely that would never happen. Well, we can always try for a movie tie-in.
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| Task: "Reach Level 24 and Build Radioactive Man: The Ride". It takes 24 hours.
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Comic Book Guy's exclamation mark
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I doubt these seats will support my ample frame, but as Radioactive Man would say "up and atom."
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...except, of course, in issue 37 where his catchphrase was erroneously printed as "up and at 'em."
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Cool! A Radioactive Man ride! Let's go Milhouse!
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Gah! Children, at a theme park? Is no place sacred?
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Task: "Make Comic Book Guy Ride the Radioactive Man Ride". The job takes place at Radioactive Man: The Ride and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Bart Ride the Radioactive Man Ride". The job takes place at Radioactive Man: The Ride and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Milhouse Ride the Radioactive Man Ride". The job takes place at Radioactive Man: The Ride and takes 4 hours.
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Comic Book Guy's exclamation mark
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I have discovered another glaring omission in your park -- no mascots.
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Children and creepy adults need someone to sign their autograph books.
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Right, right. I always get my mascot guys on loan from the prison. Cons work cheap, and they're used to wearing masks.
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| Task: "Hire a Krustyland Mascot".
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Comic Book Guy's exclamation mark
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And now a subject that is near and dear to my heart: food.
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No offense, but food is obviously near and dear to every other part of you, too.
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| Task: "Reach Level 25 and Build the Food Needle". It takes 1 day 12 hours.
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Comic Book Guy's exclamation mark
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All of this consulting has left me famished.
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I will now sample the Food Needle's offerings, which Yelp! describes as: "technically edible," and "clown-quality food."
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My favorite review? "The owner is washed-up. Too bad the tableware isn't." Tough but accurate.
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| Task: "Make Comic Book Guy Eat at the Food Needle". The job takes place at The Food Needle and takes 12 hours.
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After completing Pt. 25
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One ticket for the Wet-and-Smokey Stunt Show, please. I want to see Orky the Orca ride a dirt bike.
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We haven't built that yet. Come back in thirty-six hours.
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I don't think you understand.
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I enjoy watching marine animals struggle to do people things in exchange for fish. I enjoy it very much. So make it happen.
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And what if I don't?
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Then you won't progress any further in this dumb game.
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I guess it's true what they say -- the best bullying comes from a place of honesty.
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| Task: "Reach Level 26 and Build the Wet-and-Smokey Stunt Show". It takes 1 day 12 hours.
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
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Nelson, don't you find forcing animals to do tricks kind of... cruel?
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I never really thought about it. But yeah, the cruelty's probably what makes it so great.
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Also, sometimes you get splashed by a gazillion tons of water. You want to check it out with me?
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The animal activist in me says no... but the eight-year-old in me is intrigued by this splashing you speak of.
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Task: "Make Nelson Watch the Stunt Show". The job takes place at the Wet & Smokey Stunt Show and takes 12 hours.
Task: "Make Lisa Watch the Stunt Show". The job takes place at the Wet & Smokey Stunt Show and takes 12 hours.
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Nelson's exclamation mark
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See, Lisa? I told you the water show was fun.
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It was a chilling display of man's heartlessness towards his animal bretheren.
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And we got soaked!
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You want to get some cotton candy?
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Sure! I mean... sure, whatever. I guess.
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| Task: "Place a Cotton Candy Stand".
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Nelson's exclamation mark
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So, what do you want to do now?
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I read on the internet that there's going to be a haunted house in Krustyland...
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... but according to the data-mined text files, it's not being released until level 150!
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Don't worry -- I can bully anything.
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Hey, game! I'm gonna count down from five...
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...and if I don't have that ride when I get to zero, I'm going to mess up your save file.
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5...
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4...
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3...
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2...
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| Message
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Congratulations! You just unlocked Krusty's Haunted Condo!!
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That's more like it.
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| Task: "Build Krusty's Haunted Condo". It takes 24 hours.
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Nelson's exclamation mark
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Right now, I feel like I could beat up the whole world.
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I guess what I'm trying to say is, even though all girls are super-lame and have garbage personalities, if ever one wasn't the worst, it'd be you.
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Or whatever.
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Awww...
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Task: "Make Lisa Tour the Haunted Condo". The job takes place at Krusty's Haunted Condo and takes 8 hours.
Task: "Make Nelson Tour the Haunted Condo". The job takes place at Krusty's Haunted Condo and takes 8 hours.
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
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Wow. The Haunted Condo really scared you, huh, Nelson? You're shaking like a leaf, and you're wearing your warmest vest.
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I don't like ghosts. If you try to punch one, your hand goes right through it. How does one bully that which cannot be pounded upon?
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Huh. That's actually a very insightful answer.
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Shut up! YOU'RE an insightful answer!
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Why thank you.
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What -- did I say something nice? I hate it when I do that. Let's just agree to stick to normal rides from now on.
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| Task: "Reach Level 27 and Build Scratchy's Flea Dipper". It takes 1 day 12 hours.
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Nelson's exclamation mark
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Lisa, I'm getting on the Flea Dipper now, and I don't want you to follow.
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Are you breaking up with me?
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These last few missions we've shared have made me very happy... but that's something a bully can never be. Anger is my livelihood.
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I have to admit it -- you seem calmer. More rational.
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The technical term is "wussified," and it has to stop. The weak need to be tormented, and the job falls to me. Goodbye, Lisa.
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Task: "Make Nelson Ride Scratchy's Flea Dipper". The job takes place at Scratchy's Flea Dipper and takes 12 hours.
Task: "Make Lisa Watch the Stunt Show". The job takes place at the Wet & Smokey Stunt Show and takes 12 hours.
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After completing Pt. 32
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Hey, how come there's no Viking Boat ride at Krustyland?
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I 'unno. Because shut up?
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Hey, I'm Icelandic. If you don't put in a Viking Boat ride, that's discrimination!
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And I'm his friend, so I'm being discriminated too!
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Maybe we should tell the press Krustyland is prejudiced against both Icelanders and friends.
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Quickly, appease them! Bad publicity is death to a theme park! Just ask PaulaDeenWorld, KidnapLand, and Universal Studios: Jalalabad!
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Sure, whatever. But this whole deal was a lot more fun when I hated my customers.
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| Task: "Reach Level 28 and Build the Viking Boat". It takes 24 hours.
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark
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All right, I finished your dumb ride. Up you go.
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Oh, I never ride Viking Boats. Not with my stomach. I just wanted to make you build one.
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I said, GET ON THE BOAT.
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Are you aiming a gun at us?
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I sure am. And I'm prepared to use it. Maybe even make jokes about it. Or the organization that lobbies on behalf of it.
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Look, shoot us if you want. But don't make a joke at the NRA's expense. They can't take it, and I don't want to listen to their whining.
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Yeah, you'd think people with guns would have a thicker skin. But you're still getting on that boat.
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Task: "Make Carl Ride the Viking Boat". The job takes place at the Viking Boat Ride and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Lenny Ride the Viking Boat". The job takes place at the Viking Boat Ride and takes 4 hours.
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Carl's exclamation mark
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Hey, Krusty! How come there's no vegetarian options on your menus? You got something against Buddhists?
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Once again, we're feeling pretty discriminitized.
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Fellas, please. I'll let you in on a secret. If you want vegetarian, order the Meatlover's Meatgasm. There's not actually any meat in it.
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Unless you consider a really, really smart fungus to be meat.
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Task: "Make Carl Eat at the Food Needle". The job takes place at The Food Needle and takes 12 hours.
Task: "Make Lenny Eat at the Food Needle". The job takes place at The Food Needle and takes 12 hours.
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Comic Book Guy's exclamation mark
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And now for the final element that every great theme park needs -- an attached hotel and convention center.
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Wait a second. It's one thing to have to be nice to people all day, but now I have to be nice to them all night too?
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| Task: "Build the Krustyland Hotel". It takes 2 days.
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark
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I've done everything you asked. I've built a world-class theme park... and I've never been so miserable.
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Only one thing remains --
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We'd like a room for the night in the Krustyland Hotel, please.
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Hold on a second!
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What do you mean, one thing remains? I thought I was done.
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Now you simply need to work 24-7 to ensure that Krustyland upholds the high standards I've set.
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Making sure that each and every guest has a magical stay and leaves completely satisfied.
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A room, please?
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SHUT UP!
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Aw, that's it. I'm not going to spend my life making other people happy.
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I'm a clown! I'm in it for the money! Krustyland is going back to the dump it was!
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Excuse me?
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Here! Take the room!
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Task: "Make Lenny Stay at the Krustyland Hotel". The job takes place at the Krustyland Hotel and takes 24 hours.
Task: "Make Carl Stay at the Krustyland Hotel". The job takes place at the Krustyland Hotel and takes 24 hours.
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark
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Homer! Hey, Homer! I'm fed up with the quality of your work!
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I thought I was doing a great job!
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hat's the problem! Krustyland isn't Disneyland -- we're crap and we're proud.
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The only thrill my ancient rides can possibly offer is not knowing if you'll survive them.
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If they're assembled right, with bolts and screws and following instructions, where's the fun? I need you to do a crappier job!
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And to help with that, how about we build a new attraction: a "Crappy-Job-Doer-Enabler," if you will.
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| Task: "Reach Level 29 and Build the Duff Pavilion". It takes 1 day 12 hours.
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
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Woo hoo! Beer, here I come!
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Drink up, pal! That's the finest beer Duff has to offer... for what I was willing to pay.
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Which was virtually nothing. I'm saying it's not good beer. Swill. Really.
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Hmmm... it's bland, watery, colorless, odorless...
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Just the way a true American likes it!
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| Task: "Make Homer Visit the Duff Pavilion". The job takes place at the Duff Pavilion and takes 60 minutes.
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
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Thanks for the too much beer, Bozo. Whaddaya want [hic!] me to build now?
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Only our most dangerous, intricate, and poorly-designed ride... the Tooth Chipper!
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Okey-doke. Do you have a toolbox or something? If I'm building a rollercoaster, I could use a good sledgehammer.
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Now, now. If Drunky has a wrench, Drunky might screw the bolts together too tight. And we don't want that.
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| Task: "Build the Tooth Chipper". It takes 5 days.
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| Quest reward: 20 and 10
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| After tapping on Bart's exclamation mark
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I can't believe it -- the fabled Tooth Chipper. The ride that killed three Presidents... The only coaster designed by a team of serial killers...
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Let me at it!
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You were right about my park, kid. And if you're getting on the Chipper... it was nice knowing' ya!
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See you on the other side!
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| Task: "Make Bart Ride The Tooth Chipper". The job takes place at The Tooth Chipper and takes 24 hours.
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Looks like Krustyland is finally back to her former glory... and posting in the black for a change, too.
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Wait, what am I supposed to do with all these extra Tickets?
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Dad, didn't you know you can exchange them at the Krustyland Entrance?
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You mean I can cash this fake virtual money in for real virtual money?
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Woo Hoo!
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| Message
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You can now exchange your Tickets for Cash at the Krustyland Entrance!
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| Quest reward: 600 and 300
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