The Illustrative Man/Quotes
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- Marge: There you are! Homer, that's too many treats for Bart and Lisa!
- Homer: Bart and Lisa? D'oh! I forgot theirs! I'll be right back!
- Marty: Art? There are some who wouldn't agree with that—There are those who say these are images of evil! When I was a young man, I foolishly let myself be tattooed—I was impressed by the quality of the artist's illustrations. But the artist was a sorcerer—And he used my skin as a canvas to tell depraved stories! I must warn you. Don't look at the tattoos too long—You might not like what you see?
- Bart: You mean scabs?
- Marty: I mean each picture tells a story—And they're not all pleasant! You may see yourself—Or people you know—Cast in a sordid little tale. That is my curse!!
- Patty Bouvier: What do you think you're doing? I've got dibs on him—I'm the one who learned voodoo to bring him back!
- Selma Bouvier: I met him first—When he was alive! One look at your hairy legs scared him to death!
- Patty: Maybe you bored him to death with your vacation slides?
- Selma: Well, he didn't look too good after you served him your tuna noodle casserole!
- Chief Wiggum: Can you describe the perp, Mr. Nahawhateverthehellitis? Uh, huh—Four fingers, yellow complexion, no body past the forearm. Ah, hah. Did you notice any distinguishing characteristics?
- Kent Brockman: ...How much longer will the police let this culprit get the upper hand? This reporter is keeping his fingers crossed that he doesn't cross those fingers. Coming up next, Krusty the Clown assaults his head writer for using too many puns in his scripts. Stay tuned.
- Groundskeeper Willie: So ye thot ye'd lop off Willie's head, eh?
- Milhouse Van Houten: Bart only wanted to cut off the evil head that was in the basket!
- Bart: Ah, I guess I called that one wrong.
