The Fool Monty/Quotes
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- Bart: Ant hill, wasp nest, moose poop, Mr. Burns...[he touches each item with a stick] Mr. Burns?!
- Mr. Burns: [groans]
- Bart: My poop stick has brought him back to life! But which end? [he sniffs both ends to check which end had the poop, then gasps when he sees Burns has risen] What do you want? Come on, man. Leave me alone.
- Mr. Burns: [touches Bart] Friend? You my mommy daddy puppy?
- Bart: Whoa, your brains have turned to oatmeal.
- Mr. Burns: My name Oatmeal?
- Bart: This is too weird, man. [walks away]
- Waylon Smithers: I'm so happy I could hug you.
- Mr. Burns: And have me smell like cheap drug store cologne the rest of the day? You may hug my shadow.
- Homer: He will do my bidding... at that fantasy football auction and anything else my limited imagination can come up with.
- Homer: This town can't teach its kids or collect its garbage, but we lead the nation in pointless revenge.
- Smithers: He was more than a friend. He was the reason I got up in the morning because he would inject me with coffee at six in the morning in the back of the head.
- Mr. Burns: I want to die quietly on my own term, crushing as many of those baby sea turtles as I possibly can.
- Mayor Quimby: [about Mr. Burns] Give him what he wants. He's the only tax payer in this town.
- Marge: This isn't a line for a movie, why are you dressed in that costume?
- Comic Book Guy: Because I am afraid of needles, but Wolverine is not.
- Mr. Burns: I'll have 37 snifters of your influenza syrup. One for me, one for Smithers, and the rest for my hounds.
- Homer: Hurry up, boy! We have to burn everything the cat touched, before the virus makes us paranoid! [strikes a matc])
- Marge: Homer! [blows the match out and Homer strikes another one] Stop burning! [blows the match out again)] They have a vaccine!
- Homer: All right. We'll get the vaccine.
- [Grampa emerges out of the pile, yawning]
- Marge: [referring to Abe] Homer, did you know he was in the pile?
- Homer: I thought he was an old clump of rags.
