The Brave and the Bald/Quotes
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- Principal Skinner: Now I'm going to turn my back, and whoever removed my hair during my power-nap can place it all on this table. No questions asked. To show you I'm serious, thre will be no more classes until my head adornment is returned!
- Martin Prince: No classes? Oh dear! If this continues, it may adversely affect our grade-point averages.
- Lisa: And out S.A.T.'s are in only eight yers!
- Principal Skinner: I'm planning to turn around shortly!
- Bartman: Aye, carumba! Look at you!
- Chief Wiggum:I know! I know! I've put on some weight! But Sarah's baking holiday treats, and I can't say "no" to butter tarts.
- Bartman: I meant the baldness.
- Lou: You gotta help us, Bartman!
- Chief Wiggum: I'll handle this Lou! You gotta help us, Bartman! What's happening?
- Bartman: Someone's stealing people's hair?
- Chief Wiggum:Wow! He's good! Go get 'em, Bartman!
- Bartman: Isn't this a job for the police?
- Chief Wiggum: We can't leave the station looking like this! The fire-fighters will laugh us off the street!
- Bartman: Hello, citizen!
- Homer: Bartman! You've come just in time! I can't get these stupid pants to fit!
- Bartman: You're putting on two pairs at the same time.
- Homer: D'oh!
- Homer: So is this my superhereo outfit?
- Bartman: Yeah, sure!
- Homer: What's my superhero name?
- Bartman: Um... Bait-Man. Now just walk around and get some attention like we talked about!
- Homer: Hey, look at me and my hair! Does anyone have any conditioning shampoo? A curling iron? Spare a s scrunchie?
- Homer: Hey! What's the deal?
- Willie: Last week, I cut me own hair off in a tragic weed whacking accident. I begged the school to not use the Krusty Brand® Discount Whacking Wire!
- Homer: You won't get away with this!
- Willie: With what?
- Homer: I don't know. I wasn't paying attention! You're very boring!
- Willie: After the accident, I had an idea of how to use my cut-off hair, but I needed more! For years, I've hunted Bigfoot, or "Footie" as I like to call 'im, the missing link between mankind and Scotsmen. People say he dinna exist, but I've seen him! They said it was just because I was using turpentine in a room wihout ventilation! But Willie'll show 'em.