Robbery at the Kwik-E-Mart/Quotes
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- Radio: Silent alarm tripped at the Kwik-E-Mart. Robbery in progress. All available officers respond.
- Lou: That's us. Let's roll.
- Eddie: Wait. I've got one row to go and this gun cozy is finished!
- Homer: Wow! A bust! Just like in the movies! Can I watch?
- Lou: Stay back, sir. We'll handle this.
- Homer: Hey, my taxes paid for those guns. I want to see you use 'em!
- Apu: Please arrest that bag of scum! In the past year, he has robbed me eleven times and shot me seven. That is a bit much, even for me. He is in the snack isle.
- Eddie: We'll nab him.
- Homer: Shoot to kill, but aim away from the chips!
- Eddie: Remember, punk. If you rob a place enough times, we'll eventually catch up to you. That's a promise.
- Snake Jailbird: Rob? Dude, you've got it totally wrong! I haven't perpetrated for weeks. That was the old Snake. I just got a bad case of the munchies. I was gonna pay!
- Homer: Less gabbin', more grabbin'! Wrestle him into submission!
- Apu: He has robbed and shot me so many times in the past, I just assumed he was here to do it again. Perhaps I jumped to this conclusion without asking how high.
- Homer: Don't listen to that bleeding heart! Step on his neck! Use the choke hold! Put on a show!
- Eddie: Unfortunately, we can't arrest someone unless they do something illegal first. It's a law in Springfield. We'll have to let him go, and throwing popcorn at us won't change that.
- Homer: What a rip off! My taxes pay your salary! I want to see some action, or I demand a refund!
- Homer: Hey! My taxes paid for the siren on this thing, and you're not even using it! What's a guy gotta do to get his money's worth?
