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No Laughing Matter

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No Laughing Matter
Tapped Out Quest Information
Level: 5
Update: Black History
Required characters: Dr. Hibbert
Optional characters: See Currency-earning jobs
Previous quest(s): In Your Own Words
Next quest(s): Quimby's Big Idea

No Laughing Matter is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Black History content update.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After completing In Your Own Words
Lisa Dr. Hibbert, I'm doing a Black History report on the black person I look up to most.
Lisa Maya Angelou, Toni Morrison, and Octavia Butler have all passed away, so can I interview you?
Dr. Hibbert - Happy Absolutely. It's an honor to be fourth on such a short list.
Lisa - Embarrassed You weren't fourth, and it was a very long list.
Lisa Could you tell me about how you became a doctor?
Dr. Hibbert - Happy Sure! It almost didn't happen. I was dangerously close to flunking out of medical school.
Dr. Hibbert My grades were perfect, but I kept laughing at inappropriate times, like the skinny fellow in that Joker movie. I forget the name of the character he played.
Task: "Collect Stethoscopes" (x400).
Task: "Make Dr. Hibbert Set the Scene for Lisa". The job takes place at the Town Hall and takes 4 hours.
After starting the job
Dr. Hibbert The year was 1975. Or 1995. Depending on what season this is, and how old I am as a character.
Lisa - Confused Huh?
Dr. Hibbert - Happy I had a proud, round, well-moisturized Afro. Which was either current or retro at the time.
Dr. Hibbert And so did this beautiful woman who walked into my life.
Lisa Pam Grier?
Dr. Hibbert I wish! *chuckles*
After finishing the tasks
Chat Bubble Decoration
Bernice Hibbert Are you Julius Hibbert?
Dr. Hibbert - Happy Fortunately for me, I am. And who might you be, gorgeous?
Dr. Hibbert An angel that fell from heaven, dislocated her shoulder, and now needs me to reset it?
Bernice Hibbert Close. I'm here to hand you these documents.
Dr. Hibbert - Sad Documents?
Bernice Hibbert Julius Hibbert, consider yourself a mildly successful urban dance battle movie, because You Got Served!
Dr. Hibbert Served? Wait, who are you? And what year is this exactly?! The movie You Got Served won't come out until 2004!
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Springfield Elementary Black History Month Sign

Pt. 2[edit]

After completing Pt. 1
Dr. Hibbert So I went to drown my sorrows at Moe's Tavern, which was a hit with all the med students back then.
Dr. Hibbert Before that deadly radon leak that took so many of their promising young lives... *chuckles*
Chat Bubble Decoration
Moe - Sad You got served? By, like, a waitress in a sit down restaurant? *sigh* Maybe that'll be me one day.
Dr. Hibbert - Annoyed No, you borderline hobo. I'm getting sued! *sigh* I'm not even licensed to practice medicine yet. This could ruin me!
Moe - Sneaky You want my dangerously unqualified opinion?
Dr. Hibbert - Annoyed Not when you preface it like that.
Moe - Hopeful You gotta win this woman's heart. If you charm her, then maybe she can convince her client not to sue you.
Dr. Hibbert Hmm. That's just crazy...
Moe - Pleased ...enough to work?
Dr. Hibbert - Annoyed No, I had completed my sentence. But perhaps some unseen dialogue will convince me.
Task: "Collect Stethoscopes" (x350).
Task: "Make Dr. Hibbert Consider Moe's Bad Advice". The job takes place at Moe's Tavern and takes 4 hours.
Chat Bubble Decoration
Bernice Hibbert - Angry Not-Yet-a-Dr. Hibbert! What are you doing here?
Dr. Hibbert Well, I haven't been able to get you out of my mind.
Dr. Hibbert - Happy So a friend convinced me to follow my heart, come down here, and sing Jodeci songs to you until you agree to go out with me and drop that lawsuit.
Dr. Hibbert - Singing "Eeevery time I close my eeeyes...."
Bernice Hibbert - Phone *calls security*
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Adult Skateboards

Pt. 3[edit]

After completing Pt. 2
Chat Bubble Decoration
Dr. Hibbert - Sad Moe, that was a disaster!
Moe - Sneaky Hm. Maybe this skirt is one of them classy dames. The kind what don't like you callin' em a skirt or a dame.
Moe - Pleased I got it! How's about you get her some flowers. All the ladies I watch through binoculars LOVE flowers.
Dr. Hibbert - Sad ...
Moe It's not what you think. The ladies are on my neighbor's television. And lucky for me, he died with the TV on. Heh heh heh.
Task: "Collect Stethoscopes" (x300).
Task: "Make Dr. Hibbert Buy Flowers at a Random Store". The job takes place at Adult Skateboards and takes 4 hours.
After starting the job
Chat Bubble Decoration
Dr. Hibbert - Sad An Adult Skateboard shop? Does that mean you sell skateboards for adults who can't let go of the past, or erotically-themed skateboards for athletic perverts?
Squeaky Voice Attendant Both!
Dr. Hibbert Understood. You wouldn't happen to sell flowers here too, would you?
Squeaky Voice Attendant - Happy We do for the purposes of this quest objective!
After finishing the tasks
Chat Bubble Decoration
Dr. Hibbert - Sad Bernice, I'm sorry for how I acted before. I didn't realize your law offices frowned upon lewd karaoke.
Dr. Hibbert - Happy I got you these flowers as a token of my olive branch.
Bernice Hibbert Are those roses?
Dr. Hibbert Yes. Their delicate beauty reminds me of you.
Bernice Hibbert - Allergic *throat closes up*
Dr. Hibbert An allergic reaction! Perhaps you're a bit more delicate than they are. *chuckles*
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Martin's Present History Project animated job

Pt. 4[edit]

After completing Pt. 3
Chat Bubble Decoration
Dr. Hibbert - Happy Well, look who's still alive! I'm glad you found your EpiPen.
Dr. Hibbert I was afraid I'd have to perform an emergency tracheotomy, and we haven't gotten to that chapter in med school yet.
Bernice Hibbert - Happy Even though you almost killed me, I'm glad you were there to keep me from dying.
Dr. Hibbert The pleasure was all mine. I brought you some rice pudding from the hospital cafeteria.
Bernice Hibbert - Happy My favorite! How did you know?
Dr. Hibbert It said so on your MedicAlert bracelet.
Bernice Hibbert Ooh. I like a man who pays attention to detail.
Dr. Hibbert - Happy I know. It also said that on your MedicAlert bracelet too. That thing is quite a read.
Task: "Collect Stethoscopes" (x400).
Task: "Make Dr. Hibbert Woo Bernice With Poetry". The job takes place at Vulgari Jewelry Store or Hibbert Family Practice and takes 4 hours.
Chat Bubble Decoration
Dr. Hibbert I apologize for my spirited performance.
Dr. Hibbert When I researched the works of Poet Laureate Dolemite, I did not realize his stanzas would be peppered with so many expletives.
Bernice Hibbert Life is never boring around you, is it Julius?
Dr. Hibbert - Happy Why don't you stick around and find out?
Dr. Hibbert and Bernice Hibbert - Kiss *kiss*
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Black History Month Mystery Box Token1

Pt. 5[edit]

After completing Pt. 4
Chat Bubble Decoration
Dr. Hibbert Darling, these past few months with you have been a dream.
Dr. Hibbert - Happy I finished medical school, got a residency, and your client agreed to drop the lawsuit against me.
Bernice Hibbert Well, he didn't agree to it so much as die. You can't charge legal fees to a dead man. Believe me, my law firm has tried!
Dr. Hibbert - Sad *gasp* He didn't die from medical negligence, did he?
Bernice Hibbert Heavens, no. He was mauled by a panda at the Springfield Zoo.
Dr. Hibbert - Happy Oh thank God! *chuckles*
Bernice Hibbert Say, since we've gotten so serious, I think it's time you met my family. Particularly my slacker brother, Chester.
Bernice Hibbert Do you think you could take him under your wing and mentor him? Help him become a staid, somber, serious man like you.
Dr. Hibbert *chuckles for far too long* I don't see why not.
Task: "Collect Stethoscopes" (x475).
Task: "Make Dr. Hibbert Mentor Chester Dupree". The job takes place at Springfield General Hospital or Hibbert Family Practice and takes 4 hours.
Dr. Hibbert - Happy And that's the story of how I met your mother.
Lisa - Nagging I'm not your child.
Quest reward: Cash200 and XP20
Clarissa Wellington and Pageant Stage

Currency-earning jobs[edit]

Task Character(s) Time Location(s) Reward
Collect Stethoscopes Lou, Dr. Hibbert, Carl, Homer, Lisa, Bart, Quimby, Bernice Hibbert, Grampa, Marge, Moe 4h Springfield General Hospital or Hibbert Family Practice Stethoscope5, XP45
3D Print Stethoscopes Hibbert's Father, Stogie, The Patriarch, Mabel Simpson Springfield Library or Brown House Stethoscope8, XP70