Burns' Academic Scholarship/Quotes
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- Waylon Smithers: The children are here to receive the Burns Corp. $50 academic scholarships.
- Mr. Burns: Academic scholarship?! That's no way to promote my dream of a world populated by dim-witted worker-drones. Those eggheads make my blood run cold! Read your history, Smithers! From Lincoln to Lenin, it's always the bookworms and the smarty-pants that are the troublemakers—with their talk of "rights" and "equality"!
- Smithers: Actually, sir, tyrants such as yourself need no longer fear scheming by the educated class. The smartest people now pursue difficult but pointless endeavours—like space shuttle missions, million-dollar game shows, and most of all, the internet.
- Mr. Burns: What is this inter-net?
- Mr. Burns: So it's a fancy way to look at pin-up gals, shop by mail, and steal musical recordings?
- Smithers: That's about it sir.
- Smithers: Sir, the scholarship was only supposed to be $50. Those computers cost you $1000 each!
- Mr. Burns: But with cash they could buy something dangerous. Like a book!
