Bartman - Part III: The Great Purple Hope/Quotes

Quotes

Bartman: Man's best friend can be Bartman's best friend too! By making a few adjustments to one of Grampa's old golf socks... ...And fixing up this radical skateboard harness... ...A canine cowled crusader is born! Crime has a new four-legged foe! Take heed, low-life losers... Bartman and Bart Dog are on the way!!

Bartman: He's turned my own friends and family completely against me. Springfield is a war zone, and I'm the target!! Hmmm... The mastermind behind this is using the media to do his dirty work. If Kent Brockman can be convinced of the truth, maybe the rest of the community will follow! Let's go Bart Dog. News dude and I have a score to settle!!

Dr. Olberman: Herr Burns! Come quickly! We've been robbed!

Mr. Burns: Not now, brainiac! Can't you see I'm busy?!

Waylon Smithers: What is it this time, Olberman? Someone steal your protractor?

Dr. Olberman: Thank goodness, no. However, we are missing two of our billion-dollar experimental androids.

Bartman: What do you want, Brockman?

Kent Brockman: Money... power... a chef named Rosie. Your mistakes have been my successes. You're nothing but a common criminal, and I have no qualms about stepping on slime like you to get what I want!

Groundskeeper Willie: Ach! Rip the hood off the no good, two-faced, purple wearin' pansy!

Apu: It would bring me much pleasure to finally identify the little turkey who took my jerky!

Chief Wiggum: Hurry up! The grease is hardening on my nachos!

Homer: Mmm... nacho grease! If I ever find out who that boy's father is, I'll knock his block off!

Kent Brockman: This is going to be the biggest ratings moment in the history of T.V.! Thanks, sucker!

Bartman: We escaped, Bart Dog, and whoever's responsible for all this wants to face me alone! But who is it?! Is it Lunch Lady Doris because I glued together her fish sticks? Is it the owner of "Blood and Gutz Video" who banned me from the store because I never rewind? The possibilities are endless!! Wait a minute! Using the Laff 'Til It Hurtz novelties factory as a hideout can only mean one thing. I should have realized it immediately! The bane of my existence is and always has been... Sideshow Bob! Laugh it up, you two-bit second banana! Soon, the joke will be on you!

Bartman: You call this a party, dude?! Who's the freak with the hood?

Canker: Allow me to introduce myself. The name is Canker. I'm your worst nightmare!

Bartman: My nightmares usually involve Principal Skinner, leeches, and a three hundred pound mime. You couldn't handle my nightmares!!

Lenny Leonard: Hey, little young'uns. What took you so long?!

Lisa the Conjuror: Lenny, do you realize what you've done to Bartman's reputation?! The fear that's stricken the city. The pain you've brought to thousands of innocent citizens?!

Lenny: Can I make it up to you with some ranch style tortilla crunchies?

Bartman: What happened, Lenny?

Lenny: It wasn't my fault. The constant drip, drip, drip of nuclear waste over my work station at the power plant drove me temporarily insane! I stole the experimental androids from Dr. Olberman's lab and mounted a massive crime spree in an effort to discredit my uncaring boss. By the time I came to my senses, Brockman's anti-Bartman editorials had the town goin' crazy! I could have gone back to work, but ruling Springfield from my recliner sounded like more fun!

Bart: [thinking] Finally, everything's back to normal. True, Brockman and a small group calling themselves "Moe's Militia" still hate me, but we all have our enemies. Thank goodness, my family and friends believe in me again. The question now is, does the world really need Bartman? My sister did give back my allowance, but can I trust Lisa the Conjuror and Maggeena to keep my true identity a secret? And how loyal is Bart Dog?