Bart Cops Out/Quotes
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- Homer: Just one stop before we get to work.
- Bart: But we ate pancakes, eggs, sausage, and two types of bacon for breakfast!
- Homer: It's "Take Your Son to Work Day", and it's time for work breakfast!
- Bart: Shouldn't we get to work before we have work breakfast?
- Homer: You have so much to learn.
- Homer: Sorry, for the hassle. I'm stressed out. It's "Take Your Son to Work Day".
- Chief Wiggum: Me, too. I love by Ralphie, but he rides on patrol with me all the time.
- Homer: Tell me about it. Like I need to spend more time with the boy.
- Chief Wiggum: Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't you take Ralphie for the day, and I'll take Bart.
- Homer: You'll take Bart? Hmm...
- Chief Wiggum: I'll take Bart, but remember... you get Ralphie.
- Bart: How much cash do you stuff in your pockets when you catch a bank robber?
- Chief Wiggum: Well, I...
- Bart: When you beat up a perp, how do you keep him from bruising?
- Chief Wiggum: Bart your questions are hard to answer.
- Bart: Why? Is the topic of police corruption too hot to handle?
- Ralph Wiggum: Can I touch that?
- Homer: You probably shouldn't.
- Ralph: The voices between my ears say I should touch it.
- Police radio: All units. There's a robbery in progress at King Toot's Music Shop.
- Bart: That's only a few blocks away! Let's roll!
- Chief Wiggum: Hey! I know I'm a little tubby and I kinda wobble, but I don't toll. Oh... heh heh... you mean let's chase the bad guy.
- Bart: Don't you think it's time to give me a gun?
- Chief Wiggum: I can't give you a gun.
- Bart: Aw c'mon man. You can trust me.
- Chief Wiggum: It's not that. I lost my extra fun somewhere and can't find it! I even checked under the couch cushions.
- Homer: Meltdown?! Oh, why does this keep happening on my shift?
- Homer: I can't figure out how to turn off the reactor.
- Ralph: Why don't you turn everything off? I know how.
- Homer: You do?
- Ralph: It's easy. Sometimes I turn off my whole house. First, you catch a pixie.
- Homer: We're so dead.