Ae Bonny Romance/Quotes
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- Coach Krupt: Hustle up, snot rockets. Today we start a unit that will test your physical and emotional endurance. It will make men of you, if you survive. I speak of social dancing.
- Nelson Muntz: My mom says only sheeple wear masks, but I don't care. Cooties aren't a hoax. They're real.
- Principal Skinner: Well, Bart, you've really wet the mogwai this time.
- Bart: This wasn't my fault. I didn't know those band-aids would make everyone crazy.
- Principal Skinner: You expect me to believe that? Bart Simpson, the prank king? The boy who live streamed my colonoscopy to the second graders?
- Bart: Hey, Ralph did find that polyp.
- Principal Skinner: It was benign.
- Homer: Let me educate you about destination weddings. Or, as I like to call them, forced vacations. You fly halfway across the country to sit in a boring church, not on Sunday. Then you're stuck in a lousy hotel for a whole weekend with a bunch of people you don't know, or you do know and you hate. And that's just the beginning. First there's the "welcome drinks," where the "signature cocktail" has a... cucumber in it. And this one's in the Poconos, which sounds like islands, but it's just Pennsylvania. And you're forced to do all these preplanned activities, like a zipline you're too fat to use. And they have to bring in a telephone bucket truck to get you down! And at the after-wedding brunch, everyone calls you Johnny Zipline. And they open the presents in front of everybody, so they all know from the online registry yours is the cheapest. And it's all super expensive, so you have to waste all the airline miles you got when your credit card was stolen by scammers, who bought $50,000 of printer toner!
- Marge: Of course. Yes. The toner miles. We can use them to fly to the wedding.
- Groundskeeper Willie: Be a man, boy. Don't fall apart over some lassie with silky hair and a dimple you could get lost in like a bottomless pit of sweetness that... [begins crying]
- Homer: What the hell, boy? A destination wedding? You promised me a kidnapping, or murder.
- Maisie MacWeldon: The reason I didn't show was my family told me Willie was eaten by a sheep. But when I saw your TikTok, I knew my love was alive.
- Willie: She slid right into my DMs.
- Maisie: We started sexting right away.
- Marge: So, Maisie, tell me more about your fairy-tale romance. You're like two Shreks in a swamp.
- Maisie: Aw, it's the same old story. Numpty meets bird, they start to doggin', get told each is deid, then reunite and pick right up again with the hochmagandy.
- Homer: This is the worst thing that's ever happened in the beheading room of this castle.
- Bart: Why would you do that to my friend?
- Pa MacWeldon: Wee sleekit cowerin' timerous beasties shouldn't stick their nebs in other people's bizzo.
- Bart: I have no idea what you just said. B-but I get the context.
- Homer: I'm sorry I was such a downer about this destination wedding. I should have just pretended to go along with it, like I do with everything else in our marriage.
