No Bucks Given

For other uses of "No Bucks Given", see No Bucks Given.

No Bucks Given

Tapped Out Quest Information

Level:	15
Update:	No Bucks Given
Required characters:	Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, Buck Mitchell
Optional characters:	Judge Snyder, Tabitha Vixx

No Bucks Given is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the No Bucks Given content update.

Dialogue

Intro

After starting the update
	Welcome to Isotopes Stadium for the opening day of baseball!
	I hope this is the year the Isotopes finally win a World Series!
	With Buck Mitchell in the lineup, we won't lose a single game!
	Sadly the Isotopes will be without star slugger, Buck Mitchell, who is facing the proverbial "changeup" of marriage: divorce.
	Buck and pop superstar Tabitha Vixx are divorcing?!
	How could our unlicensed marriage counseling not keep them together?
	I'm going straight to the opening day of divorce court!
	Hot dogs! Ten-dollar hot dogs!
	And you and your hot dogs are coming with me!
Task: "Make Homer Rush to Divorce Court". The job takes place at the Court House, Town Hall, or a Brown House and takes 6 seconds. Task: "Make Marge Try to Stop Homer". The job takes place at the Court House, Town Hall, or a Brown House and takes 6 seconds.
	Bart, you and Lisa wait here so I can stop your father from stopping that divorce!
	Smack on that lip balm because it's time for the "KISS CAM"!
	Moe and Lunchlady Dora?! The Van Houtens?! Skinner and his mom?! Oh no...
	Us!
	Ew! Ew! Mom, wait! We're coming with you!
Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 1

After completing the Intro
	And that's why my client wants to split everything down the middle, equally.
	Sounds good to me. Well, if anyone objects to this divorce let them speak now or forever hold their peace.
	I, Homer Simpson, OBJECT!
	Here to offer more sage marital advice, Homer?
	I also OBJECT to your sarcastic tone! You two belong together. True love and the Isotopes' season depend on it!
	Homer, getting divorced doesn't stop me from playing baseball.
	chewing noise
	Are you eating a hot dog?
	Ooh, I'll take one. No relish.
Task: "Collect Mini-Baseball Helmets" (x200). Task: "Make Homer Object Again to Buck and Tabitha's Divorce". The job takes place at the Court House, Town Hall, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If Judge Snyder is owned: Task: "Make Judge Snyder Postpone Buck and Tabitha's Divorce". The job takes place at the Court House, Town Hall, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
	I'm putting an immediate thirty day hold on your divorce! You are hereby... still married!
	All 'cause some mustard-covered jerk said "I object"?
	Springfield law is clear: "If a shout causes doubt, you must hear them out".
	This is crazy! Mr. Lawyer Guy, aren't you going to do anything?!
	Judge's orders. We'll just have to reconvene next month.
	But how can I re-learn all my song lyrics before Homerpalooza if Buck is filling my head with boring baseball words?
	As if your songs are so complex?
	I wrote "Trouble-istic" and it went platinum faster than you can swing a bat!
	Hmm, can I "un-object" to this divorce?
	Shut up, Homer!
Quest reward: 100 and 10 Isotope Stadium

Pt. 2

After completing Pt. 1
	Look, you guys helped us rediscover our love, but since then we've been more miserable than your average Mets fan.
	Buck and I love each other, it's true. But maybe love isn't everything.
	Take that back! I know Homer and I weren't the best unlicensed marriage counselors in the world--
	All Homer did was put on glasses, nod, and pretend to write things down in that notebook.
	I was playing tic-tac-toe against myself.
	And sure, it was wrong that Homer legally objected to your divorce.
	But now the court is giving you one more marital at-bat. Who knows, maybe you'll hit a home run this time?
	Seems unlikely.
	Wait! I know the perfect place for you to overcome all the obstacles of marriage. The Springfield Ninja Conqueror Course!
Task: "Collect Mini-Baseball Helmets" (x200). Task: "Make Homer Attempt Obstacle Course". The job takes place at Isotope Stadium and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Marge Attempt Obstacle Course". The job takes place at Isotope Stadium and takes 4 hours. If Tabitha Vixx is owned: Task: "Make Tabitha Vixx Attempt Obstacle Course". The job takes place at Isotope Stadium and takes 4 hours.
	Welcome to Springfield Ninja Conqueror: #ConqueringLoveEdition.
	Here's our first Ninja, Homer Simpson. All he has to do is leap from each floating heart and cross to the other side...
	Oh no! Homer's weight has submerged the step, which is now spring-loaded! He's just launched himself over the course and straight into a parked car!
	My station wagon!
	Next up, popstar sensation Tabitha Vixx on the Salmon Ladder.
	Tabitha, you're supposed to climb with the pole, not dance on the pole!
	And the judges give it a perfect ten. Tabitha Vixx is the Ninja Conqueror... and five hundred thousand dollar GRAND PRIZE winner!
	Half of that is mine!
Quest reward: 100 and 10 Marriage Counseling

Pt. 3

After completing Pt. 2
	Since you both agreed to split that extra five hundred thousand dollars in prize money, you're hereby officially divorced!
	Because of you, Homer, we're happily divorced and even richer than we were before!
	I invested my grand prize money in concert teleprompter technology. Now that I know my own lyrics, my tour's sold out worldwide!
	So everybody's happy. Tic, tac, toe -- I win!
	I'm not happy! You spend so much time trying to fix other people's marriages that you've neglected your own.
	But we counseled them together -- we were a team!
	My client will only accept further communication in writing.
	Your client?
	If Buck and Tabitha are happier divorced, maybe we would be too. I'm moving out!
	Not if I move out first!
	Fine, you move out.
	D'oh!
Task: "Collect Mini-Baseball Helmets" (x200). Task: "Make Bart Appeal to Buck and Tabitha for Help". The job takes place at Isotope Stadium and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Lisa Appeal to Buck and Tabitha for Help". The job takes place at Isotope Stadium and takes 4 hours.
	Dad? I thought Mom kicked you out?!
	She did, but I'm taking the fridge. Most of the stuff in there is mine anyway.
	Hey, Homer. Need a hand with that fridge?
	Buzz off, you steroid hall-of-fame asterisk!
	Whoa, what's with your dad?
	When he tried to save your marriage, it destroyed his. He probably blames you or something.
	That's awful! I'm sure if I talk to him, I can get him to win your mom back.
	And I'll talk to Marge. Just because Buck and I are happily divorced doesn't mean it's something everyone should do.
	Luann and I are getting divorced, so I wanted to see if Homer'd go splitsies with me on a bachelor pad.
Quest reward: 100 and 10 Couch World

Pt. 4

After Pt. 3
	Okay Homer, to win Marge back I'm gonna teach you the most important skill in baseball: reading pitches.
	Now, you're the batter. If you know what the next pitch is going to be, then you'll know where to swing.
	Isn't that how the Astros and Red Sox cheated to win the World Series?
	Yes, but I'm teaching you how to read pitches the old-fashioned way: with your eyes.
	I just don't get how this makes Marge like me again.
	Homer, if you're better at reading and understanding what Marge wants, then maybe you'll figure out how you can save your marriage.
	Oh, I get it! It's like a metaphor!
Task: "Collect Mini-Baseball Helmets" (x200). Task: "Make Homer Attempt Impressive Baseball Feats". The job takes place at Isotope Stadium and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Marge Attempt Suggestive Dance Moves". The job takes place at Isotope Stadium and takes 4 hours. If Tabitha Vixx is owned: Task: "Make Tabitha Vixx Coach Marge". The job takes place at Isotope Stadium and takes 4 hours.
After starting the jobs
	Marge, after I teach you this dance, Homer will be eating from the palm of your hand.
	He usually does if I'm holding food.
	One, two, three... twerk!
	Twerk?!
After finishing the tasks
	Homer, our marriage is on the brink and you're playing a game of catch?!
	Buck said learning to read pitches will make me a better listener or something? Is that what you said--?
	Really, Buck? Baseball is your answer to everything. You should diversify!
	Well, sexy dancing is your answer to everything! Maybe you should practice singing instead of just Auto-Tuning everything!
	I'm so relieved I'm not married to you anymore!
	Me too! I'd rather play for the Marlins than see your sexy dancing ever again!
	Are you guys flirting or something?
Quest reward: 100 and 10 Mitchell Mansion

Pt. 5

After completing Pt. 4
	I still have feelings for you Buck. Maybe we rushed our divorce?
	I agree. Let's get remarried!
	This is like déjà vu all over again... I'm in! making out noises
	Aw, divorces not lasting are so romantic.
	You know, Homie, maybe we should also get back together.
	Maybe if we renewed our vows, I could express my love for you better.
	Oh, Homie, that's all I ever wanted.
Task: "Collect Mini-Baseball Helmets" (x200). Task: "Make Homer Renew His Vows". The job takes place at the Court House, Town Hall, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Marge Renew Her Vows". The job takes place at the Court House, Town Hall, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
	I'm sorry. I got so caught up in Tabitha and Buck's divorce that I neglected our own marriage.
	Oh Homie, renewing our vows was such a wonderful idea!
	So now can I move back into the house?
	Of course, Homie.
	Hey Kirk! I'm canceling my deposit on the bachelor pad!
	Man, I just bought us matching cigar jackets.
Quest reward: 200 and 20 Buck Mitchell

Outro

After completing Pt. 5
	Ugh, it's you guys again...
	We'd just like to thank you and Marge for helping us realize we're better off married.
	Yeah, you've taught us that no matter how crazy you make each other feel, it's always less crazy than the prospect of going it alone.
	That's sort of depressing.
	Are you saying you're just with me because you're scared to be alone...
	Marge, quick! Shut the door before they get divorced again!
	Wait, Buck's right. Maybe the secret to marriage is accepting that you'll never do better.
	Duh! Everyone knows that. shuts door
Task: "Make Buck Mitchell Get Remarried to Tabitha Vixx". The job takes place at the Court House, Town Hall, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If Tabitha Vixx is owned: Task: "Make Tabitha Vixx Get Remarried to Buck Mitchell". The job takes place at the Court House, Town Hall, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Homer Attend Buck and Tabitha's Second Wedding". The job takes place at the Court House, Town Hall, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Marge Attend Buck and Tabitha's Second Wedding". The job takes place at the Court House, Town Hall, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
	You really scared me, Mom. I thought you were divorcing Dad for good.
	No, your father and I are stronger than ever!
	Then why is the fatso crying?
	Because now that Tabitha and Buck are back together, Buck's lost his baseball mojo!
Quest reward: 200 and 20