The Springfield Files/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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163
"The Springfield Files"
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- Bart: (telling a scary story) ...and that's how much money college will cost for Maggie.
- Homer: No... no... NOOOOOOOOOOO!
- Mr. Burns: La la, la la la la (skips off into the woods)
- Dr. Nick: The most rewarding part was when he gave me my money.
- Mr Burns: Yes, and now that I'm back to normal I don't bring you peace and love I bring you hate and...
- Dr Nick: Time for a booster! (Jabs needle in Burns)
- Mr Burns (in happy state): Good morning starshine, the earth says hello...
- Squeaky-voiced teen: I'm Leonard Nimoy, goodnight, and keep watching the skis! ... I mean, skies.
- Mulder: What's the point of this experiment?
- Scully: No point, I just thought he could stand to lose some weight.
- Mulder: His jiggling is almost, hypnotic!
- Scully: Yes, it's like a lava lamp.
- Mulder: Look at this Scully. There's been another unsubstantiated UFO sighting in the heartland of America. We've got to get there right away.
- Scully: Well, gee Mulder. There's also this report of a shipment of drugs and illegal weapons coming into New Jersey tonight.
- Mulder: I hardly think the FBI is concerned with matters like that.
- Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around the city, keeping its speed over fifty. And if its speed dropped, the bus would explode! I think it was called... "The bus that couldn't slow down."
- Mr. Burns: So, another Friday is upon us. What will you be doing, Smithers? Something gay, no doubt!
- Smithers: Wha...? What?!
- Mr. Burns: You know. Light-hearted, fancy-free. "Mothers, lock up your daughters! Smithers is on the town!" [chuckles]
- Smithers: Exactly sir! [laughs nervously]
- Jasper: Thank God it's Wednesday. [swallows pills]
- Mrs. Glick: It's Friday.
- Jasper: Uh-oh. Wrong pills.
- [hair grows all over Jasper's body, as Mrs. Glick watches on]
- ...Little help?
- Homer: Well, it's 1am. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.
- Marge: Homer, it's 2 am. What happened?
- Homer: It was an alien, Marge! It appeared in front of me and said "Don't be Afraid."
- Marge: Have you been drinking?
- Homer: No!
- [pause]
- Well, ten beers.
- [Moulder and Scully watch Homer run on a tread-mill.]
- Moulder: Wait a minute, Scully. What's the point of this test?
- Scully: No point. I just thought he could stand to lose a little weight.
- Mulder: His jiggling is almost hypnotic.
- Scully: Yes. It's like a lava lamp.
