The Last Temptation of Homer/Quotes
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< The Last Temptation of Homer
Revision as of 12:15, February 29, 2012 by 94.3.253.117 (talk) (checked DVD subtitles to make sure they were correct in the first place)
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- [Bart paints parking space lines in the Springfield Elementary car park]
- Bart: The beauty of it is each parking space is a mere one foot narrower – indistinguishable to the naked eye. But therein lies the game.
- Milhouse: I fear to watch, yet I cannot turn away.
- [all the teachers pull into the car park. Skinner leaves, but bangs two times ...]
- Principal Skinner: Blast it, woman, you parked too close! Move your car!
- Edna Krabappel: I'm in the lines! You got a problem, go tell your mama.
- Skinner: Oh, don't worry, she'll hear about this.
- Ms. Krabappel: Is it possible all your misbehavior and miserable grades have been caused by a simple vision disorder?
- Bart: You mean, it ain't me noggin'; it's me peepers? Oh, well that's just luverly.
- Charlie: Well, sir, I won't bore you with the details of our miraculous escape, but we desperately need a real emergency exit.
- Mr. Burns: Why, that's a fabulous idea. Anything else you'd like? How about real lead in the radiation shields? Urinal cakes, maybe? Smithers, throw this at him.
- Lenny: Oh, if they hire a woman, we won't be able to spit on the floor.
- Carl Carlson: – and we can't take our pants off when it gets real hot.
- Homer: – and we won't be able to pee in the drinking fountain!
- [Carl and Lenny look at each other a little disgusted]
- Homer: Yes, I mean, not – you know, if we wanted to, not that I ever – did.
- [Bart walks into the classroom looking like a nerd]
- Sherri/Terri: Nice glasses, four-eyes! [sniggering]
- Nelson Muntz: Yeah, nice shoes... uh ... two-feet. Ahh ...
- Martin Prince: Your appearance is comical to me.
- [Bart sees his reflection in Milhouse's glasses]
- Bart: [gasps] I'm a nerd!
- [Milhouse sees his reflection in Bart's glasses]
- Milhouse: [gasp] So am I!
- Homer: Moe, I need your advice.
- Moe Szyslak: Yeah?
- Homer: See, I've got this friend named... Joey Jo-Jo ... Junior Shabadoo?
- Moe: That's the worst name I ever heard.
- [a man at the end of the bar gets up and runs out crying]
- Barney: Hey! Joey Jo-Jo!
- Homer: Uh... so, let's have a conversation. Uh, I think we'll find we have very little in common.
- Mindy: Can't talk – eating.
- Homer: Hey, my favorite, raspberry swirl with a double glaze.
- Mindy: Double glaze. [begins to drool] Aggghhh ...
- Homer: D'oh –! Okay, so we have one thing in common. But you know what I hate? Drinking beer and watching TV.
- Mindy: Oh, not me. That's my idea of heaven.
- Homer: D'oh! Me too.
- Mindy: Really? I'm can see I'm gonna love working with you. Well, gotta go. [whispers] I wanna sneak in a quick nap before lunch.
- Homer: Foul temptress. I'll bet she thinks Ziggy's gotten too preachy, too!
- Homer: Hello, hotline? I'm very tempted by another woman!
- Ned Flanders: Homer Simpson! That's a dilly of a pickle. Hey, let's conference you with Marge, huh?
- Homer: [hangs up] NOOOOOOO!!!!
- Homer: Colonel Klink! Did you ever get my letters?
- Angel: I'm not actually Colonel Klink. I'm just assuming his form.
- Homer: Hee, hee, hee! Did you know Hogan had tunnels all over your camp?
- Homer: Lisa, look out behind ya!
- Lisa: Dad, I'm not gonna fall for that.
- Homer: No, Lisa, I swear to you! I'm one hundred percent completely serious. You've gotta turn around right now before it's too late!
- Lisa: [turns around] Huh?
- Homer: [running away] Sucker!
- Mr. Burns: Look at those two inseparable chums, Smithers – that's exactly the teamwork we'd like to show at this year's energy convention.
- Smithers: Are you sure, sir?
- Mr. Burns: Well, no one else seems to share the same spirit of camaraderie.
- Marge: Good news, honey! Two weeks are up! You don't have to wear your glasses any more. And your scalp and posture seem fine.
- Bart: [throws glasses] Yes! *Uh-uh! [*he kicks his shoes through his window]
- [Bart's shoes smash through the Flanders' living room window]
- Ned: Kids, did anyone pray for giant shoes?
- Rod Flanders: [raises his hand] I did!
- Ned: Okilly-dokilly.
- Mindy: What's wrong?
- Homer: Oh yeah, like you don't know! We're gonna have sex.
- Mindy: Oh ... well ... we don't have to.
- Homer: Yes, we do. The cookie told me so.
- Mindy: Well, deserts aren't always right.
- Homer: But they're so sweet.
