Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrapes/Quotes
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- Superintendent Chalmers: Seymour, those string beans were cooked to perfection. After 20 years, I am finally starting to like you.
- Principal Skinner: Just wait for dessert, sir. I made it with you in mind.
- Superintendent Chalmers: Outstanding. I'll just shut my eyes and let you place it before me.
- [Selma's erotic cake accidentally flies in through the window and lands on the table in front of Chalmers and Skinner and the two recoil in horror when they see it.
- Agnes Skinner: [from upstairs] Seymour! What's going on? I'm coming down there!
- Superintendent Chalmers: Quick! We'll have to eat from each end. We'll know we're safe when our lips meet in the middle.
- Judge Snyder: Bail is set at $25,000.
- Homer: [scoffs] I make that in a year.
- Marge: This was such a pleasant St. Patrick's day until the Irish people showed up.
- Mayor Quimby: Greetings, fellow Irishmen and lady-Irishmen!
- Ned Flanders: Whoo! I didn't know I had memorized the entire Old Testement! Well, you know what they say, out with the old and in with the new! Testament, that is! [begins to recite the New Testament when Chief Wiggum and the police show up]
- Chief Wiggum: Well, Simpson looks like for you and you little friend's mayhem, you're going to jail for six weeks!
- Homer: [nervously looks at Ned's reciting; begs] Make it a lifetime, and you got a deal!