Hey Kids! Fireworks
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General
Hey Kids! Fireworks
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Comic Story information
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Hey Kids! Fireworks is an advertisement first printed in Simpsons Comics #21.
Description
- "Look what I'll send you for only $49.95 from Three Fingered Fireworks, the Krustyest fireworks in America."
- "Three Fingered Fireworks, the Krustyest fireworks in America—the world's most trusted name in fireworks and low-grade munitions."
- "You know it! This year Krusty offers a collection of fireworks from his staff of tireless workers in Asia for the good of All-American Price of forty-nine ninety-five. The price of freedom goes up every year, but because you faithfully buy your explosives from Krusty and Three Fingered Fireworks, the price of fun won't blow up like our rockets."
- "Remember kids, every piece of Three Fingered fireworks must first past Krusty's famous three finger test for explosive beauty, sure-fire pop, and noise, noise, noise! When you buy from Krusty you get HAPPY LITTLE ELVESPLOSIVES that are louder than atom bombs, SHORT FUSE SIDESHOW BOBS that explode when lit, SCREAMING MELS that whistle and scream like little girls, CORPORAL PUNISHERS that'll grab your attention and pop your ear-drums, MR. TEENY SIMIAN SIDEWINDERS that'll howl through your neighborhood and break several windows, ITCHY IGNITERS AND SCRATCHY SCUDS for a cat-and-mouse dogfight high in the sky, and KRUSTY'S LAST GLEAMING SEASON-ENDING FINALE ROCKETS that will amaze with beauty before their violent, scarifying crash. That's the kind of old style family fun you get when you buy from Krusty."
- "ORDER NOW AND AVOID THE RUSH THAT COULD COME LATER!"
- "Just fill out the coupon and get more bangs for your bucks. Or write on a piece of paper, gum wrapper, or plain white hanky the assortment you want. Sign your name and address and send a money order or certified check made out to Krusty the Clown for the full amount. Sorry, no CODs or IOUs. All shipments sent 5th class ground saver EXPRESS."
Reprints
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