Cold as Charity

Cold as Charity

Tapped Out Quest Information Level: 5 Update: Charity Case Required characters: Homer, Lisa Optional characters: Quimby, Bart, Marge, Grampa, Wiggum, Moe, Buddha Homer, Investo the Robot Previous quest(s): Reading the Room Next quest(s): Snack Down

Cold as Charity is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Charity Case content update.

Dialogue

Pt. 1

After completing Reading the Room Rest assured that all your concerns regarding privatization went in one ear— And out the other? What? No. We don't have the money for two ears! Are you insane? Didn't you vote to give yourself a raise this year? That's because of, eh, inflation. Oh yes, inflation. Money that comes up, must come down. That's gravity... Task: "Collect Calculators" (x155). If Quimby is owned: Task: "Make Quimby Keep Saying "Inflation"". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Springfield County Court House, International Court of Justice, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Homer Pretend He Understands Inflation" (xthe Town Hall, Springfield County Court House, International Court of Justice, or a Visitable Home). The job takes 4 hours. Don't worry! In order to avoid any conflicts of interest, we'll only be awarding city contracts to nonprofit organizations. That sounds okay. I like charity. As do I! For example, the majority of my money goes to my foundation to raise unawareness. You mean awareness? No...we prefer people fat, stupid and unaware. Woo-Hoo! Quest reward: 100 and 10 Blue Bail Bonds

Pt. 2

After completing Pt. 1. I don't get this privatization play. What's in it for the rich? Can't you just believe in the good of people? Artie Ziff gave the whole town free Wi-Fi. It's so fast the pop-up ads are bulging out of the screen. Huh, well, that's good, I guess. Ziffcorp? Why isn't my homepage the donut shop livestream like it always is? Ah-ha! I knew there was an angle. Artie Ziff is using the free Wi-Fi for free advertising. All I'm hearing is a lot of free. And nothing free in life is bad! That's not how the saying goes. Not according to the Ziffternet. Ziffternet! Show me donuts! Task: "Collect Calculators" (x155). Task: "Make Homer Yell at the Computer". The job takes place at the Simpson House or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Lisa Start to Investigate". The job takes place at the Simpson House or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Bart is owned: Task: "Make Bart Deep Dive Misinformation". The job takes place at the Simpson House or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. Congratulations, sir. You've been awarded the city's contract for providing all the electricity to the streetlights. Excellent. Converting the plant to a nonprofit has been very profitable. You could make even more profit if you brighten those streetlights causing them to require more power. Excellent idea, Smithers. Perhaps that excellent idea warrants me a raise? We're a nonprofit, Smithers! We do this work out of the goodness of our souls. Now ready the tax-free cocktail shrimp bath. Quest reward: 100 and 10 Blue Check Cashing

Pt. 3

After completing Pt. 2. Marge, giant groundhogs have tunneled under the roads at regular intervals. I think that means nuclear winter is upon us. Those aren't groundhog tunnels. Those are speed bumps. They've installed thousands of them in town. WHAT?! But that will make my commute to Moe's even longer. You mean work. I said what I said. According to city documents, the Rich Texan is now in charge of all road maintenance. Kids, get in the car. We have an oil man to harass. But what about school? Lisa! Dad wants us to participate in the democratic process of complaining. Isn't that life lesson more important than school? Too many life lessons and not enough real lessons is how you end up at Barnard. Task: "Collect Calculators" (x115). Task: "Make Homer Drive to The Rich Texan's House". The job takes place at Blue Bail Bonds, Blue Check Cashing, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Lisa Fret About Missing School". The job takes place at Blue Bail Bonds, Blue Check Cashing, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Bart is owned: Task: "Make Bart Partake in the Democratic Complaint Process". The job takes place at Blue Bail Bonds, Blue Check Cashing, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. Hey! Guy with the ten-gallon hat and twenty gallon squishee, where did you get that squishee? Dad... AND what's the deal with all the speed bumps!?! You mean my battery busters! Aren't they great? Battery busters? Electric cars. The scourge of every honest hardworking oilman! If people stop driving real cars, then my oil will only be good for making plastic bags, medical equipment, and clothing! I'll be ruined! This way he can stop progress by slowing down traffic. It's a win-win. Except for the planet. That's what space exploration is for! Yee Haw! Quest reward: 100 and 10 Lisa M. Simpson Foundation Rocket

Pt. 4

After completing Pt. 3. These nonprofits aren't helping people! They are just another way for the rich to exploit the working man! Well, two can play at that game — I'll reopen the Lisa M. Simpson Foundation and give them a taste of their own medicine. You're going to socialize medicine?!? I'm only eight, Dr. Hibbert. All I can do is run a semi-functional government. You don't need the hootinest, tootinest, best darn accountant this side of the Mississippi, do ya? Who's the best on the other side of the Mississippi? Stan Liebowitz. Don't you work for the Rich Texan though? Won't that be a conflict of interest? Technically, but I switched out my non-compete clause with a non-complete clause. As long as I never finish anything, I'm free to work on anything. Will you finish my work though? Let me circle back to that... Task: "Collect Calculators" (x155). Task: "Make Lisa Re-open Her Nonprofit" (xthe Simpson House or a Visitable Home). The job takes 4 hours. First things first— Rubber band lasso contest? I was going to say repurpose the Lisa M. Simpson Foundation to start winning Springfield's contracts. Sorry, I forgot who I was working for for a moment. You and the Rich Texan are so similar. How exactly? Well, you're both my bosses. Speaking of bosses, we'll need you in endless meetings that could have been emails. But I have a book report due for class. Could you make it a PowerPoint instead? Quest reward: 100 and 10 Lisa M. Simpson Foundation

Pt. 5

After completing Pt. 4. I've lined up some celebratory bottles to shoot because I've got some good news! You got your bosses mixed up again. I'm the precocious girl, not the scheming oil baron. Man, I'm good with numbers but not with faces! We can recycle the bottles as a form of celebration. What's the good news? I won you all the contracts — the streetlights, the public Wi-Fi, the road maintenance. All of them? So fast? I'm starting to realize that I actually have no idea how to do any of this. Unearned confidence? Maybe you and a 70-year-old white man aren't so different after all! Gee. I think I'm gonna have a panic attack. I can't run all these city departments. Sounds like you need to hire a CEO. Task: "Collect Calculators" (x195). Task: "Make Lisa Breathe Into a Paper Bag". The job takes place at Lisa M. Simpson Foundation, Blue Bail Bonds, Blue Check Cashing, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. Thank you, townspeople, for coming to this meeting. We were told there would be snacks! I think you're mistaken. I'm here to publicly elect the new CEO of the Lisa M. Simpson Foundation because it's currently running all of our city contracts. This is putting the power back with the people. And the people want snacks! I would like to nominate my wonderful accountant as CEO. He's the one who secured these contracts to begin with. What snacks did you bring? I'm afraid I already ate my secret jerky supply out of nervousness. I would like to nominate myself for CEO of this foundation with the promise of always bringing snacks. Both salty AND sweet! He's got my vote! Mine too! He didn't even bring the snacks. It's just an empty promise. Empty like my stomach! We vote Quimby! *sigh* I don't know why I was expecting anything different. Quest reward: 100 and 10 Cowboy Accountant

The Simpsons: Tapped Out Charity Case quests
Reading the Room • Cold as Charity • Snack Down
Buddha Homer	Dharma and Donuts
Investo the Robot	Portfolio Pursuit
Cowboy Accountant	Calling to Accountant