Difference between revisions of "No Bucks Given (Tapped Out quest)"

{{TB|With Buck Mitchell in the lineup, we won’t lose a single game!}}

{{TB|Sadly the Isotopes will be without star slugger, Buck Mitchell, who is facing the proverbial “changeup” of marriage: divorce.}}

{{TB|I’m going straight to the opening day of divorce court!}}

{{TB|Smack on that lip balm because it’s time for the “KISS CAM”!}}

{{TB|Moe and Lunchlady Dora?! The Van Houtens?! Skinner and his mom?! Oh no…}}

{{TB|Ew! Ew! Mom, wait! We’re coming with you!}}

{{TB|And that’s why my client wants to split everything down the middle, equally.}}

{{TB|Homer, getting divorced doesn’t stop me from playing baseball.}}

{{TB|Ooh, I’ll take one. No relish.}}

{{THT|{{Task|Collect Mini-Baseball Helmets|200}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Homer Object Again to Buck and Tabitha’s Divorce|4 hours|the [[Court House]], [[Town Hall]], or a [[Brown House]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Judge Snyder Postpone Buck and Tabitha’s Divorce|4 hours|the [[Court House]], [[Town Hall]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Judge Snyder]]}}|colspan=2}}

{{TB|I’m putting an immediate thirty day hold on your divorce! You are hereby… still married!}}

{{TB|All 'cause some mustard-covered jerk said “I object”?}}

{{TB|Springfield law is clear: “If a shout causes doubt, you must hear them out”.}}

{{TB|This is crazy! Mr. Lawyer Guy, aren’t you going to do anything?!}}

{{TB|Judge’s orders. We’ll just have to reconvene next month.}}

{{TB|I wrote “[[Trouble-istic]]” and it went platinum faster than you can swing a bat!}}

{{TB|Look, you guys helped us rediscover our love, but since then we’ve been more miserable than your average Mets fan.}}

{{TB|Buck and I love each other, it’s true. But maybe love isn’t everything.}}

{{TB|Take that back! I know Homer and I weren’t the best unlicensed marriage counselors in the world--}}

{{TB|But now the court is giving you one more marital at-bat. Who knows, maybe you’ll hit a home run this time?}}

{{TB|Here’s our first Ninja, Homer Simpson. All he has to do is leap from each floating heart and cross to the other side…}}

{{TB|Oh no! Homer’s weight has submerged the step, which is now spring-loaded! He’s just launched himself over the course and straight into a parked car!}}

{{TB|Tabitha, you’re supposed to climb with the pole, not dance on the pole!}}

{{TB|And the judges give it a perfect ten. Tabitha Vixx is the Ninja Conqueror… and five hundred thousand dollar GRAND PRIZE winner!}}

{{TB|Since you both agreed to split that extra five hundred thousand dollars in prize money, you’re hereby officially divorced!}}

{{TB|Because of you, Homer, we’re happily divorced and even richer than we were before!}}

{{TB|I invested my grand prize money in concert teleprompter technology. Now that I know my own lyrics, my tour’s sold out worldwide!}}

{{TB|So everybody’s happy. Tic, tac, toe -- I win!}}

{{TB|I’m not happy! You spend so much time trying to fix other people's marriages that you’ve neglected your own.}}

{{TB|If Buck and Tabitha are happier divorced, maybe we would be too. I’m moving out!}}

{{TB|She did, but I’m taking the fridge. Most of the stuff in there is mine anyway.}}

{{TB|Whoa, what’s with your dad?}}

{{TB|That’s awful! I’m sure if I talk to him, I can get him to win your mom back.}}

{{TB|And I’ll talk to Marge. Just because Buck and I are happily divorced doesn’t mean it’s something everyone should do.}}

{{TB|Luann and I are getting divorced, so I wanted to see if Homer’d go splitsies with me on a bachelor pad.}}

{{TB|Okay Homer, to win Marge back I’m gonna teach you the most important skill in baseball: reading pitches.}}

{{TB|Now, you’re the batter. If you know what the next pitch is going to be, then you’ll know where to swing.}}

{{TB|Yes, but I’m teaching you how to read pitches the old-fashioned way: with your eyes.}}

{{TB|I just don’t get how this makes Marge like me again.}}

{{TB|Homer, if you’re better at reading and understanding what Marge wants, then maybe you’ll figure out how you can save your marriage.}}

{{TB|Oh, I get it! It’s like a metaphor!}}

{{TB|He usually does if I’m holding food.}}

{{TB|One, two, three… twerk!}}

{{TB|Homer, our marriage is on the brink and you’re playing a game of catch?!}}

{{TB|I’m so relieved I’m not married to you anymore!}}

{{TB|Me too! I’d rather play for the Marlins than see your sexy dancing ever again!}}

{{TB|I agree. Let’s get remarried!}}

{{TB|This is like déjà vu all over again… I'm in! {{*}}making out noises{{*}}}}

{{TB|Oh, Homie, that’s all I ever wanted.}}

{{TB|I’m sorry. I got so caught up in Tabitha and Buck’s divorce that I neglected our own marriage.}}

{{TB|Hey Kirk! I’m canceling my deposit on the bachelor pad!}}

{{TB|Ugh, it’s you guys again…}}

{{TB|We’d just like to thank you and Marge for helping us realize we’re better off married.}}

{{TB|Yeah, you’ve taught us that no matter how crazy you make each other feel, it’s always less crazy than the prospect of going it alone.}}

{{TB|That’s sort of depressing.}}

{{TB|Are you saying you’re just with me because you’re scared to be alone…}}

{{TB|Wait, Buck’s right. Maybe the secret to marriage is accepting that you’ll never do better.}}

{{TB|Because now that Tabitha and Buck are back together, Buck’s lost his baseball mojo!}}