Difference between revisions of "Better Off Ned/Quotes"

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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Screenless|Highway to Well}}
  
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{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Wow, Grampa, your stories are really cool today.
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{{qf|[[Grampa]]}} Yeah, the nursing home finally stopped using me as the placebo and gave me real meds.
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----
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{{qf|[[Principal Skinner]]}} Our vocabulary score was also abysmal.
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{{qf|[[Ralph Wiggum]]}} Is that a bad...
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{{qf|Skinner}} It's a bad thing, yes.
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{{qf|Ralph}} Yay!
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----
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{{qf|[[Kirk Van Houten]]}} Climb in my ass hatch, son.
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----
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{{qf|[[Miss Hoover]]}} You monster. You had me finally believing the school would be destroyed, and you took it away.
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----
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{{qf|Skinner}} Son, you forced this man to jump on the grenade seconds before I was going to.
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{{qf|[[Superintendent Chalmers]]}} Well, Simpson, thanks to you, now no one can bring grenades to school.
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----
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{{qf|[[Ned Flanders]]}} I can make that real blood, you little punk.
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{{qf|Bart}} What did you say?
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{{qf|Ned}} What I meant to say was, oodily-doodily, we'll change that atti-toodily.
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----
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{{qf|[[Dr. Hibbert]]}} Mm. Remarkable. I thought the only way to turn Bart into a little angel was a downed power line at a water park.
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----
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{{qf|Homer}} You shouldn't be out here alone.
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{{qf|[[Nelson Muntz]]}} Oh, nobody cares. My dad left. My mom's a drunk. My house is a trailer, and all the wheels are flat. My last solid food was an ice cube. My TV is a milk crate with a squirrel in it.
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{{qf|Homer}} ''[thinking]'' This kid is such a wreck, even I could help him. Which I could use to get back at Bart.
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{{qf|Nelson}} I get my hair cut by hiding in the bushes when the gardener comes by.
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{{qf|Homer}} ''[thinking]'' Am I gonna do it? Is it wrong to take advantage of one child's feelings to make another child feel bad? Nobody has the answer to that.
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----
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{{qf|[[Todd Flanders]]}} I can't believe we're gonna be in the pride parade.
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{{qf|Ned}} Christian pride. Finally, Christians can openly show our faith.
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{{qf|[[Rod]] and Todd}} We're sure! We're pure! Get used to it!
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----
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{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Here's $40. That's a lot of money to me. But I want you to get some therapy about what you're doing.
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{{qf|[[Moe Szyslak]]}} 40 bucks' worth of therapy coming up.
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{{qf|Lisa}} From a licensed therapist.
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{{qf|Homer}} Moe has a liquor license.
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{{qf|Moe}} Yeah, let's not discuss that too much.
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----
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{{qf|[[Gil Gunderson]]}} Doc, I see it all so clearly now. I'm afraid of success because my father never had time for me. Which means...
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{{qf|[[Therapist]]}} Time's up.
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{{qf|Gil}} But two more minutes...
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{{qf|Therapist}} It's not a breakthrough.
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{{qf|Gil}} Ah, now I feel worse than when I came in.
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{{qf|Therapist}} See you next month.
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{{Season 31|Q}}

Latest revision as of 11:48, August 26, 2020


Season 31 Episode Quotes
← 677 "Screenless"
678
"Better Off Ned"
"Highway to Well" 679 →


Bart: Wow, Grampa, your stories are really cool today.
Grampa: Yeah, the nursing home finally stopped using me as the placebo and gave me real meds.

Principal Skinner: Our vocabulary score was also abysmal.
Ralph Wiggum: Is that a bad...
Skinner: It's a bad thing, yes.
Ralph: Yay!

Kirk Van Houten: Climb in my ass hatch, son.

Miss Hoover: You monster. You had me finally believing the school would be destroyed, and you took it away.

Skinner: Son, you forced this man to jump on the grenade seconds before I was going to.
Superintendent Chalmers: Well, Simpson, thanks to you, now no one can bring grenades to school.

Ned Flanders: I can make that real blood, you little punk.
Bart: What did you say?
Ned: What I meant to say was, oodily-doodily, we'll change that atti-toodily.

Dr. Hibbert: Mm. Remarkable. I thought the only way to turn Bart into a little angel was a downed power line at a water park.

Homer: You shouldn't be out here alone.
Nelson Muntz: Oh, nobody cares. My dad left. My mom's a drunk. My house is a trailer, and all the wheels are flat. My last solid food was an ice cube. My TV is a milk crate with a squirrel in it.
Homer: [thinking] This kid is such a wreck, even I could help him. Which I could use to get back at Bart.
Nelson: I get my hair cut by hiding in the bushes when the gardener comes by.
Homer: [thinking] Am I gonna do it? Is it wrong to take advantage of one child's feelings to make another child feel bad? Nobody has the answer to that.

Todd Flanders: I can't believe we're gonna be in the pride parade.
Ned: Christian pride. Finally, Christians can openly show our faith.
Rod and Todd: We're sure! We're pure! Get used to it!

Lisa: Here's $40. That's a lot of money to me. But I want you to get some therapy about what you're doing.
Moe Szyslak: 40 bucks' worth of therapy coming up.
Lisa: From a licensed therapist.
Homer: Moe has a liquor license.
Moe: Yeah, let's not discuss that too much.

Gil Gunderson: Doc, I see it all so clearly now. I'm afraid of success because my father never had time for me. Which means...
Therapist: Time's up.
Gil: But two more minutes...
Therapist: It's not a breakthrough.
Gil: Ah, now I feel worse than when I came in.
Therapist: See you next month.
Season 31 Quotes
The Winter of Our Monetized Content • Go Big or Go Homer • The Fat Blue Line • Treehouse of Horror XXX • Gorillas on the Mast • Marge the Lumberjill • Livin La Pura Vida • Thanksgiving of Horror • Todd, Todd, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me? • Bobby, It's Cold Outside • Hail to the Teeth • The Miseducation of Lisa Simpson • Frinkcoin • Bart the Bad Guy • Screenless • Better Off Ned • Highway to Well • The Incredible Lightness of Being a Baby • Warrin' Priests: Part One • Warrin' Priests: Part Two • The Hateful Eight-Year-Olds • The Way of the Dog