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Difference between revisions of "In Marge We Trust/Quotes"

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< In Marge We Trust
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|The Old Man and the Lisa|Homer's Enemy}}
 
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|The Old Man and the Lisa|Homer's Enemy}}
  
−
{{qf|[[Reverend Lovejoy]]}} ''[putting letters on the church bulletin board. He talks to Marge]'' Can you believe this? They give you five Q's and only two U's. What a world!
+
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Oh my goodness. Kids! Homer! We're late for church! I'm glad I dressed last night.
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Oh, I'd love to go with you, honey, but I've got a lot of work to do around the bed.
 +
{{qf|Marge}} Homer, the Lord only asks for an hour a week.
 +
{{qf|Homer}} In that case, he should've made the week an hour longer. Lousy [[God]].
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|[[Agnes]]}} Seymour, I'm tired. Tell them we're going next.
+
{{qf|[[Reverend Lovejoy]]}} I seem to have lost my place, so I'll start over.
−
{{qf|[[Skinner]]}} Well, I'm not principal of the line, Mother.
+
{{qf|[[Moe Szyslak]]}} Aw, for the love of crumb cake!
−
{{qf|Agnes}} And you never will be!
 
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} The Lord will hear your lamentations and bring solace to your ills.
+
{{qf|Marge}} Hey, calm down. You're wrinkling your church clothes!
−
{{qf|[[Moe]]}} The Lord or Marge Simpson!
+
{{qf|Homer}} Who cares? This is the best part of the week!
−
{{qf|[[Lenny]]}} Amen to that!
+
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} It's the longest possible time before more church.
−
{{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} Um, could we please NOT yell out things in the church.
+
{{qf|Marge}} Church shouldn't be a chore. It should help you in your daily life.
 +
{{qf|Homer}} It should, but it doesn't.
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|[[Akira Kurosawa]]}} ''[reading the [[Mr. Sparkle]] box]'' He identifies himself as "a magnet for foodstuffs." He boasts that he will "banish dirt to the land of wind and ghosts."
+
{{qf|[[Reverend Lovejoy]]}} So what's on your mind, Marge?
 +
{{qf|Marge}} ...sermons about "constancy" and "prudissitude" are all very well and good, but the church could be doing so much more to reach out to people.
 +
{{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} Oh, I don't see you volunteering to make things better.
 +
{{qf|Marge}} Well... okay. I will volunteer!
 +
{{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} I wasn't prepared for that.
 
----
 
----
−
:''[Homer falls asleep during Lovejoy's sermon and smacks his head.]''
+
{{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} Marge, you are a real time-saver. Do you know, thanks to you, I've rediscovered a form of shame that's gone unused for 700 years.
−
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} DAMN IT!
 
−
{{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} Well, I seem to have lost my place... so I'll start over.
 
−
{{qf|Moe}} Aw, for the love of crumb cake!
 
−
{{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} Our sermon today is on constancy.
 
 
----
 
----
−
:''[Ned Flanders calls Reverend Lovejoy with an "emergency".]''
+
{{qf|[[Principal Skinner]]}} ''[over phone]'' Reverend, this is Principal Skinner. I'm facing a crisis and I didn't know to whom to turn.
−
{{qf|[[Ned]]}} I think I swallowed a toothpick!
+
{{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} All right.
 +
{{qf|Principal Skinner}} ''[over phone]'' Mother's gone too far. She's put cardboard over her half of the television. We rented ''Man Without a Face'' -- I didn't even know he had a problem. What should I do?
 +
{{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} Well, maybe you should read your Bible.
 +
{{qf|Principal Skinner}} ''[over phone]'' Um, any particular passage?
 +
{{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} Oh, it's all good.
 +
{{qf|Principal Skinner}} ''[over phone]'' All right. Thanks anyway.
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|[[Kearney]]}} I'm sleepy. Let's go to school.
+
{{qf|Young [[Ned Flanders]]}} Reverend, I'm a... I'm afraid something terrible has happened.
 +
{{qf|Young Lovejoy}} Well, sit down and rap with me, brother. That's what I'm here for.
 +
{{qf|Young Flanders}} Well, I was talked into doing a dance called "the bump", but my hip slipped and my buttocks came into contact with the buttocks of another young man!
 +
{{qf|Young Lovejoy}} I... see.
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} You've got to get him out of there.
+
{{qf|Ned Flanders}} ''[over phone]'' ...Well, I... I think I may be coveting my own wife...
−
{{qf|Zookeeper}} Jeez, I'd like to, but if they don't kill the intruder, it's really bad for their society.
 
−
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} They're going to kill him?
 
−
{{qf|Zookeeper}} Eventually. First, they'll eat his skin.
 
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|Marge}} Oh, my goodness! Kids! Homer! We're late for church. ''[pulls off the blanket, revealing her church clothes]'' I'm glad I dressed last night.
+
{{qf|Homer}} Why would you volunteer at the church?
−
{{qf|Homer}} Oh, I'd love to go with you honey, but I got a lot of work to do around the bed.
+
{{qf|Marge}} I don't know... guilt?
−
{{qf|Marge}} Homer, the Lord only asks for an hour a week.
+
{{qf|Homer}} ''[snickers]'' Volunteering is for suckers! Do you know that so-called "volunteers" don't even get paid?
−
{{qf|Homer}} Well, in that case he should've made the week an hour longer. ''[mumbles]'' Lousy God.
 
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} Lovejoy here.
+
{{qf|Marge}} Homer! Will you get that crazy box off the dinner table? It came from the dump.
−
{{qf|Principal Skinner}} ''[on phone]'' Reverend, this is Principal Skinner. I'm facing a crisis, and I didn't know to whom to turn.
+
{{qf|Homer}} But Marge, I'm obsessed with it! Where did it come from? What is it a box of? How'd my face get on it?!
−
{{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} All right.
+
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Hey, if they got a picture of you, that means they can see you. They're probably watching us right now.
−
{{qf|Principal Skinner}} Mother's gone too far. She's put cardboard over her half of the television. We rented "Man Without a Face" I didn't even know he had a problem!
+
{{qf|Marge}} That's ridiculous. Nobody is watching us right now.
 
----
 
----
−
:''[While Homer, Bart, and Lisa are at the dump.]''
+
{{qf|[[Akira Kurosawa]]}} Ah yes, this is a product called "Mr. Sparkle." Very popular dish detergent. Hey, he looks like you!
−
{{qf|Homer}} Okay, who's up for some scrounging? ''[begins to scrounge, coming up with a basketball, deflated into a bowl-like shape]'' Hey, here's a perfectly good basketball half.
+
{{qf|Lisa}} What's he saying?
−
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} I found a Malibu Stacey with no head. ''[a rat pops up from Stacey's torso]'' Aah! ''[drops Stacey]''
+
{{qf|Akira}} He identifies himself as a magnet for foodstuffs... He boasts that he will banish dirt to the land of wind and ghosts
−
{{qf|Homer}} ''[laughs, then a raccoon emerges from the basetball and attacks Homer]'' Aah! Oh, my God! Help me, Lisa!
+
{{qf|Lisa}} Wow.
 +
{{qf|Akira}} Yes. You have very lucky dishes, Mr. Simpson. This soap is from the sacred forest of Hokkaido. Renowned for its countless soap factories.
 
----
 
----
−
:''[It is a flashback to the '70s. Ned Flanders goes into Reverend Lovejoy's office.]''
+
{{qf|[[Lenny Leonard]]}} See, all along, I been telling Carl I'm married to a beauty queen. Now he's comin' over for dinner.
−
{{qf|Ned Flanders}} Reverend, I'm, uh, I'm afraid something has happened.
+
{{qf|Marge}} Oh, Lenny, I'm sure he'll like your wife no matter what she looks like.
−
{{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} Well sit down and rap with me brother, that's what I'm here for.
+
{{qf|Lenny}} No, no, no, no, no, no, it's worse than that. I don't even have a wife. I just said I did to, you know, be a big-shot.
−
{{qf|Ned Flanders}} Well, I was talked into doing a dance called "The Bump", but my hip slipped and my buttocks came into contact with the buttocks of another young man!
+
{{qf|Marge}} Oh. Well, it's time to start telling the truth. Now, when I have to tell my husband the truth, I cook him a big delicious dinner. By the time he's done eating, he's too full and tired to care what I have to say.
 +
{{qf|Lenny}} Wow, that's great! When Carl comes over, I'll stuff him 'til he don't know what's what.
 
----
 
----
−
:''[When Bart and Lisa find a box that has a face which looks like Homer on it.]''
+
{{qf|Homer}} I'd like the phone book for Hokkaido, [[Japan]], please.
−
{{qf|Lisa}} What the heck is that?
+
{{qf|Librarian}} Okay. Here you go. The phone book for Hokkaido, Japan.
−
{{qf|Bart}} Maybe it's a box from the future.
+
{{qf|Homer}} Thank you. May I please use your phone?
−
{{qf|Lisa}} It looks Japanese.
+
{{qf|Librarian}} Is it a local call?
−
{{qf|Homer}} What's going on? Wha... why am I on a Japanese box? ''[babbles worriedly]''
+
{{qf|Homer}} Yes.
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|Moe}} Yeah, hi, I'm calling for Reverend Lovejoy. Who is this?
+
{{qf|[[Factory worker]]}} Hello Chief. Let's talk why not?
−
{{qf|Marge}} Oh, well, this is um, the uh... The Listen Lady.
+
{{qf|Homer}} Uh, hello? Why am I Mr. Sparkle?
−
{{qf|Moe}} Yeah, well listen, lady, I got so many problems I, I don't even know where to begin here.
+
{{qf|Factory worker}} Oh, you like Mr. Sparkle?
−
{{qf|Marge}} Okay... um, why don't you start from the top?
+
{{qf|Homer}} Well, I am Mr. Sparkle!
−
{{qf|Moe}} All righty. Uh, number one, I've lost the will to live.
+
{{qf|Factory worker}} You have many question Mr. Sparkle. I send you premium, answer question hundred percent.
−
{{qf|Marge}} Aw, that's ridiculous, Moe. You've got lots to live for.
 
−
{{qf|Moe}} Really? That's not what Reverend Lovejoy's been telling me. Wow, you're good, thanks. ''[hangs up]''
 
−
:''[The phone rings; Moe calls back.]''
 
−
{{qf|Moe}} Hi, it's me again. I've got another problem. Uh, this one's about my cat. ''[a cat yowls in the background]'' Yeah, shut up, I'm asking her!
 
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|Marge}} Homer! Will you get that crazy box of off the dinner table? It came from the dump.
+
{{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} I'm a shepherd without a flock. What have I done to lose them?
−
{{qf|Homer}} But Marge, I'm obsessed with it. Where did it come from? What is it a box of? How'd my face get on it?
+
{{qf|[[Saint Eleutherius]]}} The real question is, what have you done to keep them?
−
{{qf|Bart}} Hey, if they got a picture of you, that means they can see you. They're probably watching us right now.
+
{{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} Ah, St. Eleutherius of Nicomedia.
−
{{qf|Marge}} That's ridiculous. Nobody is watching us right now. ''[the family stares nervously at the camera for a few seconds]''
+
{{qf|Saint Eleutherius}} That's my name -- don't wear it out.
 
----
 
----
−
:''[Marge the "Listen Lady" helps out Lenny.]''
 
−
{{qf|Lenny}} See, all along I've been telling Carl I'm married to a beauty queen. Now, he's coming over for dinner.
 
−
{{qf|Marge}} Oh, Lenny, I'm sure he'll like your wife no matter what she looks like.
 
−
{{qf|Lenny}} No, no, no, no, no, it's worse than that. I don't even have a wife. I just said I did to, you know, be a big shot.
 
−
{{qf|Marge}} Oh. Well, it's time to start telling the truth. Now, when I have to tell my husband the truth, I cook him a big, delicious dinner. By the time he's done eating, he's too full and tired to care what I have to say.
 
−
{{qf|Lenny}} Wow, that's great! When Carl comes over, I'll stuff him 'till he don't know what's what.
 
−
----
 
−
{{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} Hmmm. I'm a shepherd without a flock. ''[looks heaven-ward]'' What have I done to lose them?
 
−
{{qf|Saint Eleutherius}} ''[comes to life in a stained glass window, surrounded by a bright light]'' The real question is: What have you done to keep them?
 
−
{{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} ''[gasps]'' St. Eleutherius of Nicomedia!
 
−
{{qf|Saint Eleutherius}} That's my name, don't wear it out.
 
−
{{qf|[[Saint Bartholomew]]}} To inspire men, you must be brave. I introduced Christianity to [[Mongolia]]. It didn't take, but it was worth a try.
 
 
{{qf|[[Saint Lucian]]}} Tell us, good Reverend, what great deeds have you done to inspire the hearts of men?
 
{{qf|[[Saint Lucian]]}} Tell us, good Reverend, what great deeds have you done to inspire the hearts of men?
 
{{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} Well, I had the vestibule recarpeted.
 
{{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} Well, I had the vestibule recarpeted.
−
{{qf|[[Saint Donickus]]}} I've appeared in over eight thousand visions, and that's the lamest reply I've ever heard.
+
{{qf|[[Saint Donickus]]}} I've appeared in over 8,000 visions, and that's the lamest reply I've ever heard.
−
{{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} Oh, now please, I, I thought saints were supposed to be friendly.
 
−
{{qf|Saint Donickus}} You ... you're just lucky God isn't here. ''[the light fades, and the saints return to their repose on the windows]''
 
 
----
 
----
−
:''[Reverend Lovejoy is playing sadly with his train set]''
+
{{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} Attention, H-O scale passengers: the dining car is closed. Root beer is still available but the cost is now $6.50. If the passengers will look to the right, you will see a sad man. That is all.
−
{{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} Attention, HO-scale passengers. The dining car is closed. Root beer is still available, but the cost is now six-fifty. If the passengers will look to their right, you will see a sad man. That is all.
 
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|Lisa}} Hey! It was all a coincidence.
+
{{qf|Homer}} That didn't explain anything. All I know is they stole my face and used it for their stupid "logo". There's no other explanation.
−
{{qf|Bart}} Yep. There's your answer, fishbulb.
+
{{qf|Lisa}} Wait, look.
−
{{qf|Homer}} Well, it was a good ride while it lasted. Come on kids, let's go home.
+
{{qf|Japanese announcer}} {{ap|Mr. Sparkle|product}}: a joint venture of [[Matsumura Fishworks]]...and [[Tamaribuchi Heavy Manufacturing Concern]].
 +
{{qf|Lisa}} Hey, it was all a coincidence!
 +
{{qf|Bart}} Yep. There's your answer, Fish Bulb.
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Well, it was a good ride while it lasted. C'mon kids. Let's go home.
 
{{qf|Bart}} We are home.
 
{{qf|Bart}} We are home.
 
{{qf|Homer}} That was fast.
 
{{qf|Homer}} That was fast.
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} ''[walks into the room]'' Yes, Marge?
+
{{qf|Marge}} Oh, good morning, Maude.
−
{{qf|Marge}} Reverend, I gave Ned Flanders some bad advice. Now he could be in real trouble.
+
{{qf|[[Maude Flanders]]}} Morning, Marge. Ahm... did your husband come home last night?
−
{{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} ''[exasperated]'' What happened now? Did he swallow a paper clip?
+
{{qf|Marge}} Of course he did.
−
{{qf|Marge}} No, he's disappeared. Oh, I'm in way over my head. I mean, where do the helpers turn when they need help?
+
{{qf|Maude}} Really? Oh. Because the thing is, um... mine didn't.
−
:''[Reverend Lovejoy looks out the basement window. As if on cue, a bright light streams through the glass and an organ can be heard. The camera pulls back to reveal that Marge has accidentally backed into the keyboard.]''
+
{{qf|Marge}} ''[alarmed gasp]'' Oh my God... Ned!
−
{{qf|Marge}} Eh? ''[stands up]'' Sorry.
 
 
----
 
----
−
:''[At [[Donny's Discount Gas|Donny's Discount Gas Station]].]''
+
{{qf|Marge}} Donny!
−
{{qf|Marge}} Donny?
+
{{qf|{{ap|Donny|In Marge We Trust}}}} What?
−
{{qf|[[Donny]]}} What?
 
 
{{qf|Marge}} Did you see a man being chased by some young hooligans?
 
{{qf|Marge}} Did you see a man being chased by some young hooligans?
−
{{qf|Donny}} I see lots of stuff.
+
{{qf|Donny}} I see lotsa stuff.
−
{{qf|Lisa}} Did you see that?
+
{{qf|Marge}} Did you see that?
−
{{qf|Donny}} Yes. ''[points to the zoo across the street]''
+
{{qf|Donny}} Yes.
 
----
 
----
−
:''[Flanders is being surrounded by baboons.]''
+
{{qf|Ned Flanders}} Help! What do I do?!
−
{{qf|Flanders}} Help! What do I do?
 
 
{{qf|Lisa}} Play dead!
 
{{qf|Lisa}} Play dead!
−
{{qf|Homer}} No! Run around in circles!
+
{{qf|Homer}} No, run around in circles!
 
{{qf|Bart}} No, act like a lion!
 
{{qf|Bart}} No, act like a lion!
−
{{qf|Marge}} Swipe at the dominant male! Come on, Ned, knock that monkey down!
+
{{qf|Marge}} Swipe at the dominant male! C'mon, Ned, knock that monkey down!
−
----
 
−
{{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} Say your prayers, you heathen baboon!
 
−
----
 
−
{{qf|Bart}} Wow.
 
−
{{qf|Lisa}} Oh, those poor monkeys.
 
−
{{qf|Marge}} They started it.
 
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|Flanders}} You saved me, Reverend. You really went above and beyond. Thank you.
+
{{qf|Ned Flanders}} Tell Maude I want a fancy funeral. Big coffin. Lotsa jewels.
−
{{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} Oh, don't thank me, thank Marge Simpson. She taught me that there's more to being a minister than not caring about people.
 
−
{{qf|Flanders}} ''[chuckles]'' Amen.
 
 
----
 
----
−
:''[At [[First Church of Springfield|church]].]''
+
{{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} ...Baboons to the left of me, baboons to the right, the speeding locomotive tore through a sea of inhuman fangs. A pair of the great apes rose up at me, but BIFF! BAM! I sent them flying like two hairy footballs. A third came screaming at me And that's when I got mad...
−
{{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} Baboons to the left of me, baboons to the right, the speeding locomotive tore through a sea of inhuman fangs. A pair of great apes rose up at me, but biff! Bam! I sent them flying like two hairy footballs. A third came screaming at me, and that's when I got mad...
+
{{qf|Homer}} Now that's religion.
−
{{qf|Homer}} Now, that's religion.
 
  
 
{{Season 8|Q}}
 
{{Season 8|Q}}

Latest revision as of 12:54, April 25, 2026


Season 8 Episode Quotes
← 174 "The Old Man and the Lisa"
175
"In Marge We Trust"
"Homer's Enemy" 176 →


Marge: Oh my goodness. Kids! Homer! We're late for church! I'm glad I dressed last night.
Homer: Oh, I'd love to go with you, honey, but I've got a lot of work to do around the bed.
Marge: Homer, the Lord only asks for an hour a week.
Homer: In that case, he should've made the week an hour longer. Lousy God.
Reverend Lovejoy: I seem to have lost my place, so I'll start over.
Moe Szyslak: Aw, for the love of crumb cake!
Marge: Hey, calm down. You're wrinkling your church clothes!
Homer: Who cares? This is the best part of the week!
Lisa: It's the longest possible time before more church.
Marge: Church shouldn't be a chore. It should help you in your daily life.
Homer: It should, but it doesn't.
Reverend Lovejoy: So what's on your mind, Marge?
Marge: ...sermons about "constancy" and "prudissitude" are all very well and good, but the church could be doing so much more to reach out to people.
Reverend Lovejoy: Oh, I don't see you volunteering to make things better.
Marge: Well... okay. I will volunteer!
Reverend Lovejoy: I wasn't prepared for that.
Reverend Lovejoy: Marge, you are a real time-saver. Do you know, thanks to you, I've rediscovered a form of shame that's gone unused for 700 years.
Principal Skinner: [over phone] Reverend, this is Principal Skinner. I'm facing a crisis and I didn't know to whom to turn.
Reverend Lovejoy: All right.
Principal Skinner: [over phone] Mother's gone too far. She's put cardboard over her half of the television. We rented Man Without a Face -- I didn't even know he had a problem. What should I do?
Reverend Lovejoy: Well, maybe you should read your Bible.
Principal Skinner: [over phone] Um, any particular passage?
Reverend Lovejoy: Oh, it's all good.
Principal Skinner: [over phone] All right. Thanks anyway.
Young Ned Flanders: Reverend, I'm a... I'm afraid something terrible has happened.
Young Lovejoy: Well, sit down and rap with me, brother. That's what I'm here for.
Young Flanders: Well, I was talked into doing a dance called "the bump", but my hip slipped and my buttocks came into contact with the buttocks of another young man!
Young Lovejoy: I... see.
Ned Flanders: [over phone] ...Well, I... I think I may be coveting my own wife...
Homer: Why would you volunteer at the church?
Marge: I don't know... guilt?
Homer: [snickers] Volunteering is for suckers! Do you know that so-called "volunteers" don't even get paid?
Marge: Homer! Will you get that crazy box off the dinner table? It came from the dump.
Homer: But Marge, I'm obsessed with it! Where did it come from? What is it a box of? How'd my face get on it?!
Bart: Hey, if they got a picture of you, that means they can see you. They're probably watching us right now.
Marge: That's ridiculous. Nobody is watching us right now.
Akira Kurosawa: Ah yes, this is a product called "Mr. Sparkle." Very popular dish detergent. Hey, he looks like you!
Lisa: What's he saying?
Akira: He identifies himself as a magnet for foodstuffs... He boasts that he will banish dirt to the land of wind and ghosts
Lisa: Wow.
Akira: Yes. You have very lucky dishes, Mr. Simpson. This soap is from the sacred forest of Hokkaido. Renowned for its countless soap factories.
Lenny Leonard: See, all along, I been telling Carl I'm married to a beauty queen. Now he's comin' over for dinner.
Marge: Oh, Lenny, I'm sure he'll like your wife no matter what she looks like.
Lenny: No, no, no, no, no, no, it's worse than that. I don't even have a wife. I just said I did to, you know, be a big-shot.
Marge: Oh. Well, it's time to start telling the truth. Now, when I have to tell my husband the truth, I cook him a big delicious dinner. By the time he's done eating, he's too full and tired to care what I have to say.
Lenny: Wow, that's great! When Carl comes over, I'll stuff him 'til he don't know what's what.
Homer: I'd like the phone book for Hokkaido, Japan, please.
Librarian: Okay. Here you go. The phone book for Hokkaido, Japan.
Homer: Thank you. May I please use your phone?
Librarian: Is it a local call?
Homer: Yes.
Factory worker: Hello Chief. Let's talk why not?
Homer: Uh, hello? Why am I Mr. Sparkle?
Factory worker: Oh, you like Mr. Sparkle?
Homer: Well, I am Mr. Sparkle!
Factory worker: You have many question Mr. Sparkle. I send you premium, answer question hundred percent.
Reverend Lovejoy: I'm a shepherd without a flock. What have I done to lose them?
Saint Eleutherius: The real question is, what have you done to keep them?
Reverend Lovejoy: Ah, St. Eleutherius of Nicomedia.
Saint Eleutherius: That's my name -- don't wear it out.
Saint Lucian: Tell us, good Reverend, what great deeds have you done to inspire the hearts of men?
Reverend Lovejoy: Well, I had the vestibule recarpeted.
Saint Donickus: I've appeared in over 8,000 visions, and that's the lamest reply I've ever heard.
Reverend Lovejoy: Attention, H-O scale passengers: the dining car is closed. Root beer is still available but the cost is now $6.50. If the passengers will look to the right, you will see a sad man. That is all.
Homer: That didn't explain anything. All I know is they stole my face and used it for their stupid "logo". There's no other explanation.
Lisa: Wait, look.
Japanese announcer: Mr. Sparkle: a joint venture of Matsumura Fishworks...and Tamaribuchi Heavy Manufacturing Concern.
Lisa: Hey, it was all a coincidence!
Bart: Yep. There's your answer, Fish Bulb.
Homer: Well, it was a good ride while it lasted. C'mon kids. Let's go home.
Bart: We are home.
Homer: That was fast.
Marge: Oh, good morning, Maude.
Maude Flanders: Morning, Marge. Ahm... did your husband come home last night?
Marge: Of course he did.
Maude: Really? Oh. Because the thing is, um... mine didn't.
Marge: [alarmed gasp] Oh my God... Ned!
Marge: Donny!
Donny: What?
Marge: Did you see a man being chased by some young hooligans?
Donny: I see lotsa stuff.
Marge: Did you see that?
Donny: Yes.
Ned Flanders: Help! What do I do?!
Lisa: Play dead!
Homer: No, run around in circles!
Bart: No, act like a lion!
Marge: Swipe at the dominant male! C'mon, Ned, knock that monkey down!
Ned Flanders: Tell Maude I want a fancy funeral. Big coffin. Lotsa jewels.
Reverend Lovejoy: ...Baboons to the left of me, baboons to the right, the speeding locomotive tore through a sea of inhuman fangs. A pair of the great apes rose up at me, but BIFF! BAM! I sent them flying like two hairy footballs. A third came screaming at me And that's when I got mad...
Homer: Now that's religion.
Season 8 Quotes
Treehouse of Horror VII • You Only Move Twice • The Homer They Fall • Burns, Baby Burns • Bart After Dark • A Milhouse Divided • Lisa's Date with Density • Hurricane Neddy • El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer • The Springfield Files • The Twisted World of Marge Simpson • Mountain of Madness • Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious • The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show • Homer's Phobia • Brother from Another Series • My Sister, My Sitter • Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment • Grade School Confidential • The Canine Mutiny • The Old Man and the Lisa • In Marge We Trust • Homer's Enemy • The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase • The Secret War of Lisa Simpson
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