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Difference between revisions of "Survival of the Wellest"

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|update = {{TOCU|New Year New You}}
 
|update = {{TOCU|New Year New You}}
 
|requirements =  
 
|requirements =  
−
|characters =  
+
|characters = [[Homer]], {{TOCG|Glutton}}s
−
|optional =  
+
|optional = [[Sakatumi]], [[Wiggum]], [[Quimby]], [[Barney]], See [[#Currency-earning jobs|Currency-earning jobs]]
 
|internal = SurvivalOfTheWellest
 
|internal = SurvivalOfTheWellest
 
|id = 240001 - 240005
 
|id = 240001 - 240005
 
|previous = [[The Post-Holiday Expansion]]
 
|previous = [[The Post-Holiday Expansion]]
−
|next = [[he Post-Holiday Contraction Expansion]]
+
|next = [[The Post-Holiday Contraction Expansion]]
 
}}
 
}}
  
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== Dialogue ==
 
== Dialogue ==
 
=== Pt. 1 ===
 
=== Pt. 1 ===
−
{{Table|
+
{{Table|width=80%|
 
{{THT|After completing [[The Post-Holiday Expansion]]|colspan=2}}
 
{{THT|After completing [[The Post-Holiday Expansion]]|colspan=2}}
 
{{Tapped Out Dr. Hibbert Icon|Sad}}
 
{{Tapped Out Dr. Hibbert Icon|Sad}}
−
{{TB|Hmm. Protracted gut, excessive sweating, the tub of gravy filled with candy corn you're eating…}}
+
{{TB|Hmm. Protracted gut, excessive sweating, the tub of gravy filled with candy corn you're eating...}}
 
{{Tapped Out Dr. Hibbert Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Dr. Hibbert Icon}}
−
{{TB|My diagnosis: you are experiencing a momentary spike of obesity…caused by the mass consumption of holiday leftovers.}}
+
{{TB|My diagnosis: you are experiencing a momentary spike of obesity...caused by the mass consumption of holiday leftovers.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Happy}}
 
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Happy}}
 
{{TB|All true! So, what wonders of medical science are available for a super overweight person who wants to effortlessly shed a few pounds?}}
 
{{TB|All true! So, what wonders of medical science are available for a super overweight person who wants to effortlessly shed a few pounds?}}
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{{THT|After completing Pt. 1|colspan=2}}
 
{{THT|After completing Pt. 1|colspan=2}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon}}
−
{{TB|Hey Homer, I have to give you a ticket…for speeding!}}
+
{{TB|Hey Homer, I have to give you a ticket...for speeding!}}
 
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Sad}}
 
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Sad}}
−
{{TB|Man, this day can't get worse…}}
+
{{TB|Man, this day can't get worse...}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon}}
 
{{TB|Well, why are you in such a rush?}}
 
{{TB|Well, why are you in such a rush?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Thoughtful}}
 
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Thoughtful}}
−
{{TB|I've tried every get-thin-quick scheme I could think of: stuffing myself with diet horse feed on the couch while watching endless reruns of the NHL All-Star Skills Challenge…}}
+
{{TB|I've tried every get-thin-quick scheme I could think of: stuffing myself with diet horse feed on the couch while watching endless reruns of the NHL All-Star Skills Challenge...}}
 
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
 
{{TB|So, now I'm on my way to Moe's because he does backroom liposuction before noon.}}
 
{{TB|So, now I'm on my way to Moe's because he does backroom liposuction before noon.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon}}
−
{{TB|You know, me and some of the other…robust fellas in town are heading over to Tab Spangler's Serenity Ranch.}}
+
{{TB|You know, me and some of the other...robust fellas in town are heading over to Tab Spangler's Serenity Ranch.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Sarcastic}}
 
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Sarcastic}}
 
{{TB|{{*}}chuckles{{*}} Robust.}}
 
{{TB|{{*}}chuckles{{*}} Robust.}}
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{{TB|Fat Camp? No thank you!}}
 
{{TB|Fat Camp? No thank you!}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Happy}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Happy}}
−
{{TB|There's a free all-you-can-eat "welcome guests" buffet tonight…}}
+
{{TB|There's a free all-you-can-eat "welcome guests" buffet tonight...}}
 
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Drool}}
 
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Drool}}
−
{{TB|Mmm…fat camp buffet.}}
+
{{TB|Mmm...fat camp buffet.}}
 
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Dumbbells|125}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Homer Rush to Serenity Ranch|4 hours|[[Serenity Ranch]], [[Rancho Relaxo]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}}}<br>{{Task/JobMulti|Make {{TOCG|Glutton}}s Head to Serenity Ranch|4 hours|[[Serenity Ranch]], [[Rancho Relaxo]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}|3}}|colspan=2}}
 
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Dumbbells|125}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Homer Rush to Serenity Ranch|4 hours|[[Serenity Ranch]], [[Rancho Relaxo]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}}}<br>{{Task/JobMulti|Make {{TOCG|Glutton}}s Head to Serenity Ranch|4 hours|[[Serenity Ranch]], [[Rancho Relaxo]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}|3}}|colspan=2}}
 
{{Tapped Out Tab Spangler Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Tab Spangler Icon}}
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{{TB|Don't worry, at Serenity Ranch we deliver on our promises! So let this magnificent feast start you on your road to wellness.}}
 
{{TB|Don't worry, at Serenity Ranch we deliver on our promises! So let this magnificent feast start you on your road to wellness.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Serious}}
 
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Serious}}
−
{{TB|This isn't a feast! It's a bunch of plants…}}
+
{{TB|This isn't a feast! It's a bunch of plants...}}
 
{{Tapped Out Barney Icon|Sad}}
 
{{Tapped Out Barney Icon|Sad}}
−
{{TB|It's all so green and leafy…}}
+
{{TB|It's all so green and leafy...}}
 
{{Tapped Out Fat Tony Icon|Angry}}
 
{{Tapped Out Fat Tony Icon|Angry}}
 
{{TB|I detect a distinct lack of protein, which leads me to ask: what kind of FAT CAMP IS THIS?}}
 
{{TB|I detect a distinct lack of protein, which leads me to ask: what kind of FAT CAMP IS THIS?}}
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{{TB|You know I don't feel so good. I'm not sure I can handle more wellness training this morning.}}
 
{{TB|You know I don't feel so good. I'm not sure I can handle more wellness training this morning.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Thoughtful}}
 
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Thoughtful}}
−
{{TB|Maybe I could just call my wife to come get me…or at least bring me a burger or pizza.}}
+
{{TB|Maybe I could just call my wife to come get me...or at least bring me a burger or pizza.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Tab Spangler Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Tab Spangler Icon}}
 
{{TB|No dice. The registration forms you signed give me full legal authority to keep you here until you are the peak of physical perfection!}}
 
{{TB|No dice. The registration forms you signed give me full legal authority to keep you here until you are the peak of physical perfection!}}
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{{TB|Them's the rules and you all signed on the dotted line.}}
 
{{TB|Them's the rules and you all signed on the dotted line.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Sakatumi Icon|Surprised}}
 
{{Tapped Out Sakatumi Icon|Surprised}}
−
{{TB|{{*}}gasp{{*}} He can't imprison us! Can he, Chief…?}}
+
{{TB|{{*}}gasp{{*}} He can't imprison us! Can he, Chief...?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Sad}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Sad}}
−
{{TB|Well, he did say both "legal" and "authority" in the same sentence, and the DA tells me that's the magic word combo that lets me do whatever I want…}}
+
{{TB|Well, he did say both "legal" and "authority" in the same sentence, and the DA tells me that's the magic word combo that lets me do whatever I want...}}
 
{{Tapped Out Tab Spangler Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Tab Spangler Icon}}
 
{{TB|Calm yourselves! Torturing people into shape is a thing of the past. Here at Serenity Ranch, we take a holistic approach to wellness!}}
 
{{TB|Calm yourselves! Torturing people into shape is a thing of the past. Here at Serenity Ranch, we take a holistic approach to wellness!}}
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{{Tapped Out Tab Spangler Icon|Happy}}
 
{{Tapped Out Tab Spangler Icon|Happy}}
 
{{TB|Well, not anymore.}}
 
{{TB|Well, not anymore.}}
−
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Dumbbells|125}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Homer Drink a Green Juice|4 hours|[[Serenity Ranch]], [[Rancho Relaxo]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Sakatumi Meditate on Weight Loss|4 hours|[[Serenity Ranch]], [[Rancho Relaxo]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}|char=[[Sakatumi]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Wiggum Strike a Yoga Pose|4 hours|[[Serenity Ranch]], [[Rancho Relaxo]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}|char=[[Wiggum]]}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Quimby Learn Pilates|4 hours|[[Serenity Ranch]], [[Rancho Relaxo]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}|char=[[Quimby]]}}|colspan=2}}
+
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Dumbbells|125}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Homer Drink a Green Juice|4 hours|[[Serenity Ranch]], [[Rancho Relaxo]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Sakatumi Meditate on Weight Loss|4 hours|[[Serenity Ranch]], [[Rancho Relaxo]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}|char=[[Sakatumi]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Wiggum Strike a Yoga Pose|4 hours|[[Serenity Ranch]], [[Rancho Relaxo]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}|char=[[Wiggum]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Quimby Learn Pilates|4 hours|[[Serenity Ranch]], [[Rancho Relaxo]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}|char=[[Quimby]]}}|colspan=2}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Surprised}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Surprised}}
 
{{TB|Am I doing this "downward dog" thing right? I wish the police dog was here to show me how.}}
 
{{TB|Am I doing this "downward dog" thing right? I wish the police dog was here to show me how.}}
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{{TB|Yoga is for moms to meet other moms and show off. We fat dudes should be doing push-ups and karate kicks!}}
 
{{TB|Yoga is for moms to meet other moms and show off. We fat dudes should be doing push-ups and karate kicks!}}
 
{{Tapped Out Tab Spangler Icon|Annoyed}}
 
{{Tapped Out Tab Spangler Icon|Annoyed}}
−
{{TB|Since I have the legal authority to keep you all here, you better start learning to love our new wellness program…and that means yoga every morning.}}
+
{{TB|Since I have the legal authority to keep you all here, you better start learning to love our new wellness program...and that means yoga every morning.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Exhausted}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Exhausted}}
 
{{TB|{{*}}out of breath{{*}} Yoga is so much harder than anything I did at the Police Academy! And I had to do that twice!}}
 
{{TB|{{*}}out of breath{{*}} Yoga is so much harder than anything I did at the Police Academy! And I had to do that twice!}}
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{{TB|Kumiko runs a pretty tight ship thank you very much. But I do miss reading the comics and lamenting about how bad they've all become.}}
 
{{TB|Kumiko runs a pretty tight ship thank you very much. But I do miss reading the comics and lamenting about how bad they've all become.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Confused}}
 
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Confused}}
−
{{TB|And Sakatumi…wait, why are you even here? Isn't being big kind of your job?}}
+
{{TB|And Sakatumi...wait, why are you even here? Isn't being big kind of your job?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Sakatumi Icon|Sad}}
 
{{Tapped Out Sakatumi Icon|Sad}}
 
{{TB|I was disqualified from the tour when they found out my sumo diaper was really two sumo diapers tied together!}}
 
{{TB|I was disqualified from the tour when they found out my sumo diaper was really two sumo diapers tied together!}}
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{{TB|The only way out of here is to train until we're all able to climb over that wall and escape.}}
 
{{TB|The only way out of here is to train until we're all able to climb over that wall and escape.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Thoughtful}}
 
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Thoughtful}}
−
{{TB|Hmmm…that's it, Barney! We'll get in shape. And there's only one way to do that…}}
+
{{TB|Hmmm...that's it, Barney! We'll get in shape. And there's only one way to do that...}}
 
{{Tapped Out Barney Icon|Sad}}
 
{{Tapped Out Barney Icon|Sad}}
 
{{TB|Stick with the wellness program?}}
 
{{TB|Stick with the wellness program?}}
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{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}<br>[[Tab Spangler]]|colspan=2}}
 
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}<br>[[Tab Spangler]]|colspan=2}}
 
}}
 
}}
 +
 +
== Currency-earning jobs ==
 +
{{Table|
 +
{{THT|Task}}
 +
{{TH|Character(s)}}
 +
{{TH|Time}}
 +
{{TH|Location(s)}}
 +
{{TH|Reward|width=200px}}
 +
{{TBT|Collect Dumbbells}}
 +
{{TB|[[Homer]], [[Marge]], [[Lisa]], [[Bart]], [[Wiggum]], [[Quimby]], [[Moe]], [[Lenny]]}}
 +
{{TRs|4h|2}}
 +
{{TB|[[Lugash's Gym]], [[Sportacus]], [[Old Scratch's Gym]], [[Sprawl-Mart]], {{TOG|Home Visitable}}}}
 +
{{TB|{{Dumbbell|5}}, {{XP|45}}}}
 +
{{TBT|Calibrate Dumbbells}}
 +
{{TB|[[Mrs. Frink]]}}
 +
{{TB|[[Frink's Lab]], [[Lugash's Gym]], [[Sportacus]], [[Old Scratch's Gym]], [[Sprawl-Mart]], {{TOG|Home Visitable}}}}
 +
{{TB|{{Dumbbell|8}}, {{XP|70}}}}
 +
}}
 +
 +
== Behind the Laughter ==
 +
The quest name is a reference to the phrase "{{W|survival of the fittest}}."
  
 
{{Tapped Out Quests/New Year New You}}
 
{{Tapped Out Quests/New Year New You}}

Latest revision as of 17:28, May 14, 2025


Survival of the Wellest
Tapped Out Survival of the Wellest Sidebar.png
Tapped Out Quest Information
Level: 5
Update: New Year New You
Required characters: Homer, Gluttons
Optional characters: Sakatumi, Wiggum, Quimby, Barney, See Currency-earning jobs
Internal name(s): SurvivalOfTheWellest
ID(s): 240001 - 240005
Previous quest(s): The Post-Holiday Expansion
Next quest(s): The Post-Holiday Contraction Expansion


Survival of the Wellest is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the New Year New You content update.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After completing The Post-Holiday Expansion
Dr. Hibbert - Sad Hmm. Protracted gut, excessive sweating, the tub of gravy filled with candy corn you're eating...
Dr. Hibbert My diagnosis: you are experiencing a momentary spike of obesity...caused by the mass consumption of holiday leftovers.
Homer - Happy All true! So, what wonders of medical science are available for a super overweight person who wants to effortlessly shed a few pounds?
Dr. Hibbert - Annoyed Homer, I can't staple your stomach for a third time. It would kill you.
Homer - Sad *moans* Now how am I going to cash in my "buy two get one free" stomach stapling card?
Dr. Hibbert - Happy *chuckles* You're holding a Krusty Burger punch card — which as your doctor, I can't allow you to cash in. *takes card*
Homer Well, if you won't help me, maybe Dr. Nick will.
Dr. Nick - Happy Homer, my solution is for you to go on a strict diet eating only these experimental meal replacement packs.
Homer - Serious How's eating going to help me lose weight?
Dr. Nick They're full of untested chemicals!
Homer - Happy Can't argue with chemicals!
Task: "Collect Dumbbells" (x125).
Task: "Make Homer Gorge Himself on Meal Replacement Packs". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
Homer - Bloated Must gorge to lose weight!
Lisa - Suspicious Dad, these meal pack labels are just taped on with Band-Aids. *peels off label*
Homer - Nauseous I don't feel so good.
Lisa - Annoyed That's because you've been eating US Army cavalry horse feed from the Spanish-American War!
Homer - Mouth Full *horse neighs* No wonder I've been neighing so much!
Lisa - Shocked No, you can't eat any more of those!
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Serenity Ranch

Pt. 2[edit]

After completing Pt. 1
Wiggum Hey Homer, I have to give you a ticket...for speeding!
Homer - Sad Man, this day can't get worse...
Wiggum Well, why are you in such a rush?
Homer - Thoughtful I've tried every get-thin-quick scheme I could think of: stuffing myself with diet horse feed on the couch while watching endless reruns of the NHL All-Star Skills Challenge...
Homer So, now I'm on my way to Moe's because he does backroom liposuction before noon.
Wiggum You know, me and some of the other...robust fellas in town are heading over to Tab Spangler's Serenity Ranch.
Homer - Sarcastic *chuckles* Robust.
Wiggum - Happy He's running a "New Year, New You" weight loss special. You should join us!
Homer - Annoyed Fat Camp? No thank you!
Wiggum - Happy There's a free all-you-can-eat "welcome guests" buffet tonight...
Homer - Drool Mmm...fat camp buffet.
Task: "Collect Dumbbells" (x125).
Task: "Make Homer Rush to Serenity Ranch". The job takes place at Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Gluttons Head to Serenity Ranch" (x3). The jobs take place at Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo, or a Visitable Home and take 4 hours.
Tab Spangler Thank you for your patience while filling out these fourteen-page liability release forms.
Homer - Confused So that's what I signed!
Comic Book Guy - Annoyed I believe we were promised a free all-you-can-eat buffet?
Homer - Annoyed Yeah, where's my free grub?!
Tab Spangler - Happy Don't worry, at Serenity Ranch we deliver on our promises! So let this magnificent feast start you on your road to wellness.
Homer - Serious This isn't a feast! It's a bunch of plants...
Barney - Sad It's all so green and leafy...
Fat Tony - Angry I detect a distinct lack of protein, which leads me to ask: what kind of FAT CAMP IS THIS?
Homer - Surprised A healthy one!
Wiggum - Angry *fires gun* Storm the kitchen!
Camera Man - Angry *attacking noises*
Tab Spangler - Sad This may be harder than I thought.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Scammer and Z-Dog Vending Machine

Pt. 3[edit]

After completing Pt. 2
Homer - Sad You know I don't feel so good. I'm not sure I can handle more wellness training this morning.
Homer - Thoughtful Maybe I could just call my wife to come get me...or at least bring me a burger or pizza.
Tab Spangler No dice. The registration forms you signed give me full legal authority to keep you here until you are the peak of physical perfection!
Tab Spangler - Happy God I love fine print.
Comic Book Guy - Angry You sir, are worse than Loki the trickster god himself!
Tab Spangler Them's the rules and you all signed on the dotted line.
Sakatumi - Surprised *gasp* He can't imprison us! Can he, Chief...?
Wiggum - Sad Well, he did say both "legal" and "authority" in the same sentence, and the DA tells me that's the magic word combo that lets me do whatever I want...
Tab Spangler Calm yourselves! Torturing people into shape is a thing of the past. Here at Serenity Ranch, we take a holistic approach to wellness!
Homer - Annoyed I take a holistic approach to eating whatever I want and where I want!
Tab Spangler - Happy Well, not anymore.
Task: "Collect Dumbbells" (x125).
Task: "Make Homer Drink a Green Juice". The job takes place at Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
If Sakatumi is owned: Task: "Make Sakatumi Meditate on Weight Loss". The job takes place at Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
If Wiggum is owned: Task: "Make Wiggum Strike a Yoga Pose". The job takes place at Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
If Quimby is owned: Task: "Make Quimby Learn Pilates". The job takes place at Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
Wiggum - Surprised Am I doing this "downward dog" thing right? I wish the police dog was here to show me how.
Wiggum - Pained Ow! I don't think my back bends this way. Or at all.
Quimby - Confused Shavasa-whaa?
Comic Book Guy - Angry It's "Shavasana". And yes, it's a subpar catchphrase!
Homer - Annoyed Yoga is for moms to meet other moms and show off. We fat dudes should be doing push-ups and karate kicks!
Tab Spangler - Annoyed Since I have the legal authority to keep you all here, you better start learning to love our new wellness program...and that means yoga every morning.
Wiggum - Exhausted *out of breath* Yoga is so much harder than anything I did at the Police Academy! And I had to do that twice!
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Unlicensed Surgeon Moe

Pt. 4[edit]

After completing Pt. 3
Homer - Cautious This is all a waste of time! Plus Lard Lad just released a new bacon donut sandwich! It's two bacon donuts with a bacon donut in the center!
Comic Book Guy - Angry The premiere of a new donut and I am missing it! *angry noise*
Homer - Serious We've gotta escape this "Serenity" Ranch! If you're with me, put your fat fingers in.
Wiggum - Serious Homer, maybe you should just relax and get with the program. All this yoga is making me too tired to fight.
Barney - Drunk The cop guy is right. Plus, at least we have a steady stream of kombucha to keep us just as drunk as ever. *kombucha belch*
Fat Tony - Suspicious Homer, how do you know you don't like wellness, unless you try it?
Homer - Shocked *short shriek* You're all traitors to the big and tall!
Task: "Collect Dumbbells" (x125).
Task: "Make Homer Convince Fellow Gluttons to Escape". The job takes place at Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
If Barney is owned: Task: "Make Barney Have Another Juice". The job takes place at Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
If Wiggum is owned: Task: "Make Wiggum Almost Stretch His Back". The job takes place at Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
Homer - Annoyed Guys, this is just a big scam! We're wasting time and not losing any weight while we keep paying Tab Spangler to live here on this picturesque ranch!
Wiggum - Serious Hmm, I wish scamming were illegal, but it's not — so we can't do anything.
Homer - Curious What about you, Comic Book Guy? Don't you want to go back home and run your shop?
Homer - Serious I bet Bart is stealing all your comics as we speak.
Comic Book Guy - Sad Kumiko runs a pretty tight ship thank you very much. But I do miss reading the comics and lamenting about how bad they've all become.
Homer - Confused And Sakatumi...wait, why are you even here? Isn't being big kind of your job?
Sakatumi - Sad I was disqualified from the tour when they found out my sumo diaper was really two sumo diapers tied together!
Quimby - Stern Alright, Simpson, you've sold us on the need to get out of here. What's your plan?
Homer - Cautious I don't have a plan! I'm just the guy who rallies everyone together so that someone else can come up with the plan.
Comic Book Guy - Annoyed Worst. Leader. Ever.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Chubby Chaser Chariot

Pt. 5[edit]

After completing Pt. 4
Wiggum - Sad Look, Homer, we all want to get out of here now, but face it: we're all too fat and slow.
Comic Book Guy - Sad Yeah, Homer, we're not Thors, we're Fat Thors!
Barney - Sad The only way out of here is to train until we're all able to climb over that wall and escape.
Homer - Thoughtful Hmmm...that's it, Barney! We'll get in shape. And there's only one way to do that...
Barney - Sad Stick with the wellness program?
Homer - Happy No, a training montage!
Task: "Collect Dumbbells" (x125).
Task: "Make Homer Put Together a Training Montage". The job takes place at Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Gluttons Train in a Training Montage". The jobs take place at Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo, or a Visitable Home and take 4 hours.
Homer - Happy *montage music plays* Whoa, look at me dragging giant tires around! I don't even know where those came from!
Barney - Drunk I think I just did a hundred thousand jumping jacks without breaking a sweat!
Fat Tony *lifting weights* They're going to have to start calling me LEAN TONY!
Homer - Serious *stops montage music* Alright, former fatsos, now we're in the best shape of our lives and all it took was 8 minutes of montaging!
Comic Book Guy - Happy Let us climb over the wall like Wildlings invading Westeros!
Tab Spangler *slow clap* Excellent work, men! I never wavered from my belief that you'd finally realize what it takes to get in great shape.
Tab Spangler - Happy You had to hate being here so much that you'd lose weight just to escape!
Wiggum - Happy So he's not a scammer — he's a genius!
Comic Book Guy - Annoyed Worst. Twist. Ever.
Tab Spangler Hey, I still made a buttload of money off you sorry lot.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Tab Spangler

Currency-earning jobs[edit]

Task Character(s) Time Location(s) Reward
Collect Dumbbells Homer, Marge, Lisa, Bart, Wiggum, Quimby, Moe, Lenny 4h Lugash's Gym, Sportacus, Old Scratch's Gym, Sprawl-Mart, Home Visitable Dumbbell5, XP45
Calibrate Dumbbells Mrs. Frink Frink's Lab, Lugash's Gym, Sportacus, Old Scratch's Gym, Sprawl-Mart, Home Visitable Dumbbell8, XP70

Behind the Laughter[edit]

The quest name is a reference to the phrase "survival of the fittest."


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