Difference between revisions of "Homer Scissorhands/Quotes"
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|The Real Housewives of Fat Tony|500 Keys}} | {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|The Real Housewives of Fat Tony|500 Keys}} | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} You're gonna regret the day you were born! | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Bart]]}} I already do! It's too close to Christmas! | |
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| − | |||
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---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Selma]]}} I can't believe I'm saying this... Homer Simpson, do me. | |
| − | |||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Milhouse]]}} Something happened last night. Something that really changed me. My mom put in the ''{{ap|Finding Nemo|film}}'' DVD, but then she got a phone call... So I started it myself. Did you know it has a chapter before chapter two? A chapter where we meet Nemo's mother... | |
| − | + | {{qf|Bart}} Nemo doesn't have a mother. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Milhouse}} Not after Chapter One he doesn't. If death can happen to a fish, it can happen to anyone. | |
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---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Lindsey Naegle]]}} I hear this is the home of Springfield's hottest hairdresser. I need a haircut—and I need it in three, two, one, now! | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Homer]]}} Lady, I'm not a hairdresser—I just put a new lid on a couple of trashcans. | |
| − | |||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Just call me "Homer Fingerhands." | |
| + | {{qf|[[Marge]]}} I'd rather call you by your normal name, if that's okay. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Taffy]]}} I thought that was beautiful. | ||
| + | {{qf|Milhouse}} You did? | ||
| + | {{qf|Taffy}} Yeah! It was romantic and it rhymed. | ||
| + | {{qf|Milhouse}} Well, I used a rhyming dictionary, but it only gives you options. The job of the poet is to say, "This one, I guess." | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} This dame is really into you! | ||
| + | {{qf|Milhouse}} She sure is. This morning I got to second base... on our walk around the softball diamond. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Stop that. Okay, okay. You win. I'll teach you how to make love to your wife! | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Chief Wiggum]]}} What? No! Just cut her hair! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} I just want to know what she's up to with Milhouse. A girl like her could get a fifth grader—maybe even [[Kyle LoBianco]]! | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} I hear he goes to California on his vacations. | ||
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} That's the first thing everyone knows about Kyle LoBianco! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} All right, sister. What's your game? | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Hans Moleman]]}} We're just trying to put our relationship back together. | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Lunchlady Dora]]}} In the sack he's Salisbury steak, everywhere else creamed corn. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Milhouse}} Can't you leave me alone? We're over. | ||
| + | {{qf|Taffy}} You're not over, you never were! Milhouse, you're a great guy. But we're not gonna work out for one reason. | ||
| + | {{qf|Milhouse}} Is it 'cause when I wore cuffed pants they filled up with leaves? | ||
| + | {{qf|Taffy}} That wasn't a great day for us, but... it's because you'll always be in love with her. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Milhouse}} You don't want me to be with you, you don't want me to be with someone else... how miserable do I have to be before you're happy? | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Sideshow Mel]]}} ''[calling out guests names]'' Mr. Discothèque Stuart, unaccompanied! | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Disco Stu]]}} My girlfriend isn't feeling well tonight. | ||
| + | {{qf|Sideshow Mel}} Krusty the Clown and Disco Stu's girlfriend! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Julio Franco]]}} Okay, first five customers get a discount. Next five hear secrets about the first five. Come on, get in line. | ||
{{Season 22|Q}} | {{Season 22|Q}} | ||
Latest revision as of 14:12, July 7, 2026
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- Selma: I can't believe I'm saying this... Homer Simpson, do me.
- Milhouse: Something happened last night. Something that really changed me. My mom put in the Finding Nemo DVD, but then she got a phone call... So I started it myself. Did you know it has a chapter before chapter two? A chapter where we meet Nemo's mother...
- Bart: Nemo doesn't have a mother.
- Milhouse: Not after Chapter One he doesn't. If death can happen to a fish, it can happen to anyone.
- Lindsey Naegle: I hear this is the home of Springfield's hottest hairdresser. I need a haircut—and I need it in three, two, one, now!
- Homer: Lady, I'm not a hairdresser—I just put a new lid on a couple of trashcans.
- Homer: Just call me "Homer Fingerhands."
- Marge: I'd rather call you by your normal name, if that's okay.
- Taffy: I thought that was beautiful.
- Milhouse: You did?
- Taffy: Yeah! It was romantic and it rhymed.
- Milhouse: Well, I used a rhyming dictionary, but it only gives you options. The job of the poet is to say, "This one, I guess."
- Bart: This dame is really into you!
- Milhouse: She sure is. This morning I got to second base... on our walk around the softball diamond.
- Homer: Stop that. Okay, okay. You win. I'll teach you how to make love to your wife!
- Chief Wiggum: What? No! Just cut her hair!
- Lisa: I just want to know what she's up to with Milhouse. A girl like her could get a fifth grader—maybe even Kyle LoBianco!
- Bart: I hear he goes to California on his vacations.
- Lisa: That's the first thing everyone knows about Kyle LoBianco!
- Lisa: All right, sister. What's your game?
- Hans Moleman: We're just trying to put our relationship back together.
- Lunchlady Dora: In the sack he's Salisbury steak, everywhere else creamed corn.
- Milhouse: Can't you leave me alone? We're over.
- Taffy: You're not over, you never were! Milhouse, you're a great guy. But we're not gonna work out for one reason.
- Milhouse: Is it 'cause when I wore cuffed pants they filled up with leaves?
- Taffy: That wasn't a great day for us, but... it's because you'll always be in love with her.
- Milhouse: You don't want me to be with you, you don't want me to be with someone else... how miserable do I have to be before you're happy?
- Sideshow Mel: [calling out guests names] Mr. Discothèque Stuart, unaccompanied!
- Disco Stu: My girlfriend isn't feeling well tonight.
- Sideshow Mel: Krusty the Clown and Disco Stu's girlfriend!
- Julio Franco: Okay, first five customers get a discount. Next five hear secrets about the first five. Come on, get in line.
