Difference between revisions of "Burns' Heir/Quotes"

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|episode=Burns' Heir
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Bart Gets an Elephant|Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song}}
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}}
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(''A deprogrammer has just finished forcing [[Bart]] into forgetting Mr Burns and coming back to the [[Simpson family]]'')<br />
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{{qf|[[Nelson]]}} Give me your fortune or I'll pound your withered old face in!
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'''Deprogrammer:''' "Well Mr and Mrs Simpson, I think I have reformed young Bart. Bart come out!"<br />
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{{qf|[[Mr. Burns]]}} Ooh, I like his energy. Put him on the callback list.
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''[[Hans Moleman]] walks out of the room, wearing an orange shirt and blue shorts like Bart's usual outfit''<br />
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:''[Martin walks onstage performing in a conductor's uniform.]''
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'''Hans Moleman:'''(''monotonal) "''Mom, Dad, I missed you!"<br />
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{{qf|[[Martin]]}} ''[singing]'' ''Clang, clang, clang went the trolley. Ring, ring, ring went the bell. Zing, zing, sing went my heartstrings...'' ''[Nelson punches Martin in the stomach]''
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'''[[Homer Simpson|Homer]]: '''"Oh son, we finally have you back! "(''Homer kisses Hans Moleman)''<br />
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{{qf|Mr. Burns}} Thank you. Give the bully an extra point.
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'''[[Marge Simpson|Marge]]: '''"Homer, that's Hans Moleman."<br />
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'''Homer:''' "Can we keep him anyway, huh, huh?"<br />
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:[''A deprogrammer has just finished forcing Bart into forgetting Mr. Burns and coming back to the [[Simpson family]]'']
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{{qf|Deprogrammer}} Well, it was a gruelling two weeks, but you have your son back."
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:''[''Hans Moleman walks out'']''
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{{qf|[[Hans Moleman]]}} Mom, Dad, I missed you.
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:''[Sighing with relief Homer kisses Hans Moleman on the head.]''
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{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Homer, that's Hans Moleman.
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{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Can I keep him anyway, huh, huh?
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:''[Mr. Burns attempts to prove the Simpson family does not love him, and shows him a scripted version of a false Simpsons residence.]''
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{{qf|[[Actor being Homer|Homer Actor]]}} ''[voice unlike Homer's]'' I do not miss Bart at all.
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{{qf|Marge Actress}} I am glad he's gone.
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{{qf|Lisa Actor}} As am I. ''[Homer drops his sandwich]''
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{{qf|Homer Actor}} "B'oh!"
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{{qf|Bart}} It's probably my imagination but, something about them doesn't seem quite right.
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{{qf|Mr. Burns}} Really? Excuse me for just a moment.
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:''[Mr. Burns walks into a film set where the Simpsons actors takes place.]''
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{{qf|Mr. Burns}} People, that was all wrong! Homer Simpson doesn't say "B'oh!", he says... ''[goes through script]'' "D'oh!" ''[Homer and Marge take their masks off]''
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{{qf|Homer Actor}} Sorry, M.B., but I'm having trouble with this character. Is he supposed to have some kind of a neurological impairment, like ''{{W|Rain Man}}'' or ''{{W|Awakenings}}''? I mean, what the hell am I doing here?!
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{{qf|Marge Actress}} And this dialogue has none of the wit and sparkle of ''{{W|Murphy Brown}}''. ''[the Lisa actor takes off his mask]''
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{{qf|Lisa Actor}} Hey, you know we're getting into golden time.
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{{qf|Mr. Burns}} Yes. Well, just get it right, or you'll all be back doing ''{{W|Come Blow Your Horn}}'' at the {{W|Westport, Massachusetts|Westport}} Dinner Theatre.
 
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''[[Mr. Burns]] attempts to prove the Simpson family does not love him, and shows him a scripted version of a false Simpsons residence''<br />
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:[''[[Bart]] and [[Lisa]] are dejected after failing at their auditions to become Mr. Burns' heir'']
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'''Homer Actor'''{voice unlike Homer's}: I do not miss Bart at all.<br />
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{{qf|Marge}} ''[to Homer]'' "I think Bart and Lisa are feeling a little upset right now. Isn't there something you'd like to say?"
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'''Marge Actress'''{overly gravelly voice}: I am glad that he is gone.<br />
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{{qf|Homer}} "There sure is. Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, "Never Try."
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''Homer actor drops his sandwich''<br />
 
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'''Homer Actor''': B'oh!<br />
 
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'''Bart''': Something about them did not seem right.<br />
 
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''Bart departs room''<br />
 
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'''Mr. Burns''': What was that?! For the seventh time, Homer Simpson does not say "B'oh!", he says "D'oh!"<br />
 
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'''Homer Actor''': Sorry M.B., I am having trouble with this character. Is he supposed to have some kind of a nuerological quirk, like ''Rain Man'' or ''Awakenings''?<br />
 
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'''Mr. Burns''': Do it right or it will be back to the Westport Community Theatre for all of you!<br />
 
 
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('([[Bart]] and [[Lisa]] are dejected after failing at their auditions to become [[Mr. Burns]]' heir)''
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{{qf|[[Lionel Hutz]]}} As for your case, don't you worry. I've argued in front of every judge in the state, often as a lawyer.
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'''[[Marge]]:''' ''(to [[Homer]])'' I think Bart and Lisa are feeling a little upset right now. Isn't there something you'd like to say?
 
  
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'''Homer:''' There sure is.  Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably.  The lesson is, "Never Try."<br />
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{{Season 5|Q}}
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{{Season 5 Q}}
 
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[[Category:Quotes]]
 

Latest revision as of 15:18, March 29, 2022


Season 5 Episode Quotes
← 098 "Bart Gets an Elephant"
099
"Burns' Heir"
"Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song" 100 →


Nelson: Give me your fortune or I'll pound your withered old face in!
Mr. Burns: Ooh, I like his energy. Put him on the callback list.
[Martin walks onstage performing in a conductor's uniform.]
Martin: [singing] Clang, clang, clang went the trolley. Ring, ring, ring went the bell. Zing, zing, sing went my heartstrings... [Nelson punches Martin in the stomach]
Mr. Burns: Thank you. Give the bully an extra point.
[A deprogrammer has just finished forcing Bart into forgetting Mr. Burns and coming back to the Simpson family]
Deprogrammer: Well, it was a gruelling two weeks, but you have your son back."
[Hans Moleman walks out]
Hans Moleman: Mom, Dad, I missed you.
[Sighing with relief Homer kisses Hans Moleman on the head.]
Marge: Homer, that's Hans Moleman.
Homer: Can I keep him anyway, huh, huh?
[Mr. Burns attempts to prove the Simpson family does not love him, and shows him a scripted version of a false Simpsons residence.]
Homer Actor: [voice unlike Homer's] I do not miss Bart at all.
Marge Actress: I am glad he's gone.
Lisa Actor: As am I. [Homer drops his sandwich]
Homer Actor: "B'oh!"
Bart: It's probably my imagination but, something about them doesn't seem quite right.
Mr. Burns: Really? Excuse me for just a moment.
[Mr. Burns walks into a film set where the Simpsons actors takes place.]
Mr. Burns: People, that was all wrong! Homer Simpson doesn't say "B'oh!", he says... [goes through script] "D'oh!" [Homer and Marge take their masks off]
Homer Actor: Sorry, M.B., but I'm having trouble with this character. Is he supposed to have some kind of a neurological impairment, like Rain Man or Awakenings? I mean, what the hell am I doing here?!
Marge Actress: And this dialogue has none of the wit and sparkle of Murphy Brown. [the Lisa actor takes off his mask]
Lisa Actor: Hey, you know we're getting into golden time.
Mr. Burns: Yes. Well, just get it right, or you'll all be back doing Come Blow Your Horn at the Westport Dinner Theatre.
[Bart and Lisa are dejected after failing at their auditions to become Mr. Burns' heir]
Marge: [to Homer] "I think Bart and Lisa are feeling a little upset right now. Isn't there something you'd like to say?"
Homer: "There sure is. Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, "Never Try."
Lionel Hutz: As for your case, don't you worry. I've argued in front of every judge in the state, often as a lawyer.
Season 5 Quotes
Homer's Barbershop Quartet • Cape Feare • Homer Goes to College • Rosebud • Treehouse of Horror IV • Marge on the Lam • Bart's Inner Child • Boy-Scoutz 'n the Hood • The Last Temptation of Homer • $pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling) • Homer the Vigilante • Bart Gets Famous • Homer and Apu • Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy • Deep Space Homer • Homer Loves Flanders • Bart Gets an Elephant • Burns' Heir • Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song • The Boy Who Knew Too Much • Lady Bouvier's Lover • Secrets of a Successful Marriage
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