Difference between revisions of "The Joy of Sect/Quotes"

Revision as of 15:45, August 27, 2012

[Homer and Bart arrive at the Springfield International Airport.]

Bart Simpson: Thanks for letting me skip school to see the team come back from the championship, dad!

Homer Simpson: I always say, a boy can learn more at an airport than he can in any school.

[Homer and Bart continue their walk through the airport. They pass some religious people.]

Hare Krishna: Have you heard of Krishna Consciousness?

Homer Simpson: This, Bart, is a crazy man!

[They move on.]

Christian: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Homer Simpson: (Sarcastic) Right, that'll work.

[They move on.]

Woman: A new and better life awaits you on our distant home planet, Blisstonia.

Homer Simpson: Hmmm, makes sense!

[Hans Moleman enters "Just Crichton and King Bookstore".]

Hans Moleman: Do you have anything by Robert Lodlum?

Clerk: (Sinister) Get out.

Homer Simpson: Homer no function beer well without.

Homer Simpson: Out of my way, Jerk Ass!

Bart Simpson: Nobody can brainwash Bart Simpson. Nothing that I can't handle.

[Movementarian pulls out a briefcase labeled "Lil' Bastard Brainwash" and Bart enters a room. He reappears a few seconds later.]

Bart Simpson: I love The Leader.

Marge Simpson: When we got married, you promised me my harvesting days were over.

Sect Mover: Your family will be housed here for the first 100,000 years, then something might open up in a double.

Homer Simpson: Why even unpack?

Homer Simpson: Marge, when I join an underground cult I expect a little support from my family.

Lisa Simpson: Dad, do you think you might have been brainwashed?

Homer Simpson: I have not been brainwashed! Kill the girl.

Lisa Simpson: Watch yourself, Dad - you're the highly suggestible type.

Homer Simpson: Yes, I am the highly suggestible type.

Bart Simpson: Church, cult, cult, church. So we'll get bored someplace else every Sunday. Does this really change our everyday lives?

[Lovejoy begins to spill gasoline all over the church.]

Reverend Lovejoy: I never thought I'd have to do this again.

Reverend Lovejoy: This new so-called religion is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants designed to take away the money of fools. Now let's say the Lord's Prayer 40 times, but first let's pass the collection plate.

[The Leader drives past in a Rolls-Royce.]

Lisa Simpson: We toil in the fields and he drives around in a Rolls-Royce?

Homer Simpson: Yes, it would be nice if he'd buy American, but what are you going to do?

Lisa Simpson: It's great that we can all think for ourselves again.

[Family returns to watching TV.]

FOX Announcer: You are watching FOX.

Family: (Robotically) We are watching FOX.

Template:Season 9 Q