Difference between revisions of "The Sweetest Apu/Quotes"

Revision as of 18:36, July 24, 2012

(Apu is preparing a hangman's noose)

Apu: "Over, under, round and round so your feet won't touch the ground." (He throws the noose rope over a pipe) "Now, let's see what awaits me in the next life." (He looks over a reincarnation chart) "First I was a tiger, a snake, a Clod, a goat with a hat, then me." (Looks at his next incarnations) "Hoo, a tapeworm, then assistant to Lorne Michaels! It's going to be a rough couple of lifetimes."

Homer: (to Apu) "I saw you and that Squishee Lady canoodling like junkyard rabbits!"

(At the Civil War re-enactment)

Principal Skinner: "Hey you dead people, stop playing cards! And Stonewall Jackson, stop rollerblading!"

Disco Stu: "The south will boogie again!"

Manjula: "Not tonight. I said, not tonight! Wait, something's wrong, why aren't you pressuring me for sex."

Apu: "Oh I'm just happy to lie here appreciating and respecting you."

Manjula: "Okay buster, what is going on."

Apu: "Nothing. How could you even accuse me of repeated infidelity? Oh I'm so angry I could just fall asleep."

Homer: "Nothing, nothing, there's nothing eating me up inside."

(Homer's eyeball is twitching and moving all over the place)

Marge: "Oh, it must be something big. Something you did? Something you saw." (gasps) "Apu is having an affair?"

Homer: "I know! Can you believe it? Oh, Manjula is just going to die."

Homer: "The Squishee Lady! Oh my god. I know you must get this all the time, but can I suggest a flavor."

Squishee Lady: "Go ahead."

Homer: "Grape."

Apu: "Please, could you just take the children home? The porno magazine buyers are too embarrassed to make their move. Look."

Moe: "C'mon!"

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