Difference between revisions of "The Last Temptation of Homer/Quotes"
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:''[Bart paints parking space lines in the [[Springfield Elementary]] car park]'' | :''[Bart paints parking space lines in the [[Springfield Elementary]] car park]'' | ||
| − | :'''[[Bart]]:''' The beauty of it is each parking space is a mere one foot narrower | + | :'''[[Bart]]:''' The beauty of it is each parking space is a mere one foot narrower – indistinguishable to the naked eye. But therein lies the game. |
:'''[[Milhouse]]:''' I fear to watch, yet I cannot turn away. | :'''[[Milhouse]]:''' I fear to watch, yet I cannot turn away. | ||
| − | :''[ | + | :''[all the teachers pull into the car park. Skinner leaves, but bangs two times ...]'' |
| − | :'''[[Seymour Skinner]]:''' | + | :'''[[Seymour Skinner|Principal Skinner]]:''' Blast it, woman, you parked too close! Move your car! |
| − | :'''Edna Krabappel:''' I'm in the lines! You got a problem, go tell [[Agnes Skinner|your mama]]. | + | :'''[[Edna Krabappel]]:''' I'm in the lines! You got a problem, go tell [[Agnes Skinner|your mama]]. |
:'''Skinner:''' Oh, don't worry, she'll hear about this. | :'''Skinner:''' Oh, don't worry, she'll hear about this. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
:'''Ms. Krabappel:''' Is it possible all your misbehavior and miserable grades have been caused by a simple vision disorder? | :'''Ms. Krabappel:''' Is it possible all your misbehavior and miserable grades have been caused by a simple vision disorder? | ||
| − | :'''Bart:''' You mean, it ain't me noggin'; it's me peepers? Oh, well that's just luverly | + | :'''Bart:''' You mean, it ain't me noggin'; it's me peepers? Oh, well that's just luverly. |
---- | ---- | ||
| + | :'''[[Charlie (SNPP)|Charlie]]''': Well, sir, I won't bore you with the details of our miraculous escape, but we desperately need a real emergency exit. | ||
:'''[[Mr. Burns]]:''' Why, that's a fabulous idea. Anything else you'd like? How about real lead in the radiation shields? Urinal cakes, maybe? [[Smithers]], throw this at him. | :'''[[Mr. Burns]]:''' Why, that's a fabulous idea. Anything else you'd like? How about real lead in the radiation shields? Urinal cakes, maybe? [[Smithers]], throw this at him. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''[[Lenny Leonard]]:''' Oh, if they hire a woman, we won't be able to spit on the floor. | + | :'''[[Lenny Leonard|Lenny]]:''' Oh, if they hire a woman, we won't be able to spit on the floor. |
| − | :'''[[Carl Carlson]]:''' | + | :'''[[Carl Carlson]]:''' – and we can't take our pants off when it gets real hot. |
| − | :'''[[Homer]]:''' | + | :'''[[Homer]]:''' – and we won't be able to pee in the drinking fountain! |
| − | :''[Carl and Lenny look at each other | + | :''[Carl and Lenny look at each other a little disgusted]'' |
| − | :'''Homer:''' | + | :'''Homer:''' Yes, I mean, not – you know, if we wanted to, not that I ever – did. |
---- | ---- | ||
:''[Bart walks into the classroom looking like a nerd]'' | :''[Bart walks into the classroom looking like a nerd]'' | ||
| − | :'''[[Sherri]] | + | :'''[[Sherri]]/[[Terri]]:''' Nice glasses, four-eyes! ''[sniggering]'' |
| − | :'''[[Nelson Muntz]]:''' Yeah, nice shoes... uh... two-feet. | + | :'''[[Nelson Muntz]]:''' Yeah, nice shoes... uh ... two-feet. Ahh ... |
:'''[[Martin Prince]]:''' Your appearance is comical to me. | :'''[[Martin Prince]]:''' Your appearance is comical to me. | ||
:''[Bart sees his reflection in Milhouse's glasses]'' | :''[Bart sees his reflection in Milhouse's glasses]'' | ||
| Line 32: | Line 33: | ||
:'''Milhouse:''' ''[gasp]'' So am I! | :'''Milhouse:''' ''[gasp]'' So am I! | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''Homer:''' | + | :'''Homer:''' Moe, I need your advice. |
| − | :'''Moe Szyslak:''' Yeah | + | :'''[[Moe Szyslak]]:''' Yeah? |
| − | :'''Homer:''' See, I've got this friend named... [[Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo|Joey Jo-Jo... Junior | + | :'''Homer:''' See, I've got this friend named... [[Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo|Joey Jo-Jo ... Junior Shabadoo]]? |
:'''Moe:''' That's the worst name I ever heard. | :'''Moe:''' That's the worst name I ever heard. | ||
:''[a man at the end of the bar gets up and runs out crying]'' | :''[a man at the end of the bar gets up and runs out crying]'' | ||
| − | :'''[[Barney Gumble]]:''' Hey! Joey Jo-Jo! | + | :'''[[Barney Gumble|Barney]]:''' Hey! Joey Jo-Jo! |
---- | ---- | ||
:'''Homer:''' Uh... so, let's have a conversation. Uh, I think we'll find we have very little in common. | :'''Homer:''' Uh... so, let's have a conversation. Uh, I think we'll find we have very little in common. | ||
| − | :'''[[Mindy Simmons|Mindy]]:''' Can't talk | + | :'''[[Mindy Simmons|Mindy]]:''' Can't talk – eating. |
:'''Homer:''' Hey, my favorite, raspberry swirl with a double glaze. | :'''Homer:''' Hey, my favorite, raspberry swirl with a double glaze. | ||
| − | :'''Mindy:''' Double glaze. ''[begins to drool]'' | + | :'''Mindy:''' Double glaze. ''[begins to drool]'' Aggghhh ... |
| − | :'''Homer:''' [[D'oh]]! Okay, so we have one thing in common. But you know what I hate? Drinking beer and watching TV. | + | :'''Homer:''' [[D'oh]] –! Okay, so we have one thing in common. But you know what I hate? Drinking beer and watching TV. |
| − | :'''Mindy:''' Oh, not me. That's my idea of [[Heaven]]. | + | :'''Mindy:''' Oh, not me. That's my idea of [[Heaven|heaven]]. |
:'''Homer:''' D'oh! Me too. | :'''Homer:''' D'oh! Me too. | ||
:'''Mindy:''' Really? I'm can see I'm gonna love working with you. Well, gotta go. ''[whispers]'' I wanna sneak in a quick nap before lunch. | :'''Mindy:''' Really? I'm can see I'm gonna love working with you. Well, gotta go. ''[whispers]'' I wanna sneak in a quick nap before lunch. | ||
:'''Homer:''' Foul temptress. I'll bet she thinks Ziggy's gotten too preachy, too! | :'''Homer:''' Foul temptress. I'll bet she thinks Ziggy's gotten too preachy, too! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :'''Homer''': Hello, hotline? I'm very tempted by another woman! | ||
| + | :'''[[Ned Flanders]]''': Homer Simpson! That's a dilly of a pickle. Hey, let's conference you with Marge, huh? | ||
| + | :'''Homer''': ''[hangs up] '''NOOOOOOO!!!!''''' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
:'''Homer:''' [[Colonel Klink]]! Did you ever get my letters? | :'''Homer:''' [[Colonel Klink]]! Did you ever get my letters? | ||
| Line 53: | Line 58: | ||
:'''Homer:''' Hee, hee, hee! Did you know Hogan had tunnels all over your camp? | :'''Homer:''' Hee, hee, hee! Did you know Hogan had tunnels all over your camp? | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''Homer:''' | + | :'''Homer:''' Lisa, look out behind ya! |
| − | :'''Lisa:''' Dad, I'm not gonna fall for that. | + | :'''[[Lisa]]:''' Dad, I'm not gonna fall for that. |
:'''Homer:''' No, Lisa, I swear to you! I'm one hundred percent completely serious. You've gotta turn around right now before it's too late! | :'''Homer:''' No, Lisa, I swear to you! I'm one hundred percent completely serious. You've gotta turn around right now before it's too late! | ||
| − | :'' | + | :'''Lisa:''' ''[turns around]'' Huh? |
| − | + | :'''Homer:''' ''[running away]'' Sucker! | |
| − | :'''Homer:''' ''[running away]'' Sucker. | + | ---- |
| + | :'''Mr. Burns''': Look at those two inseparable chums, Smithers – that's exactly the teamwork we'd like to show at this year's energy convention. | ||
| + | :'''Smithers''': Are you sure, sir? | ||
| + | :'''Mr. Burns''': Well, no one else seems to share the same spirit of camaraderie. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''Marge:''' Good news, honey! Two weeks are up! You don't have to wear your glasses any more. And your scalp and posture seem fine | + | :'''Marge:''' Good news, honey! Two weeks are up! You don't have to wear your glasses any more. And your scalp and posture seem fine. |
| − | :'''Bart:''' Yes! | + | :'''Bart:''' ''[throws glasses]'' Yes! *Uh-uh! ''[*he kicks his shoes through his window]'' |
| − | + | :''[Bart's shoes smash through the Flanders' living room window]'' | |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Ned:''' Kids, did anyone pray for giant shoes? |
:'''[[Rod Flanders]]:''' ''[raises his hand]'' I did! | :'''[[Rod Flanders]]:''' ''[raises his hand]'' I did! | ||
| − | :'''Ned:''' Okilly-dokilly | + | :'''Ned:''' Okilly-dokilly. |
---- | ---- | ||
:'''Mindy:''' What's wrong? | :'''Mindy:''' What's wrong? | ||
:'''Homer:''' Oh yeah, like you don't know! We're gonna have sex. | :'''Homer:''' Oh yeah, like you don't know! We're gonna have sex. | ||
| − | :'''Mindy:''' Oh... well | + | :'''Mindy:''' Oh ... well ... we don't have to. |
:'''Homer:''' Yes, we do. The cookie told me so. | :'''Homer:''' Yes, we do. The cookie told me so. | ||
:'''Mindy:''' Well, deserts aren't always right. | :'''Mindy:''' Well, deserts aren't always right. | ||
Revision as of 12:15, February 29, 2012
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- [Bart paints parking space lines in the Springfield Elementary car park]
- Bart: The beauty of it is each parking space is a mere one foot narrower – indistinguishable to the naked eye. But therein lies the game.
- Milhouse: I fear to watch, yet I cannot turn away.
- [all the teachers pull into the car park. Skinner leaves, but bangs two times ...]
- Principal Skinner: Blast it, woman, you parked too close! Move your car!
- Edna Krabappel: I'm in the lines! You got a problem, go tell your mama.
- Skinner: Oh, don't worry, she'll hear about this.
- Ms. Krabappel: Is it possible all your misbehavior and miserable grades have been caused by a simple vision disorder?
- Bart: You mean, it ain't me noggin'; it's me peepers? Oh, well that's just luverly.
- Charlie: Well, sir, I won't bore you with the details of our miraculous escape, but we desperately need a real emergency exit.
- Mr. Burns: Why, that's a fabulous idea. Anything else you'd like? How about real lead in the radiation shields? Urinal cakes, maybe? Smithers, throw this at him.
- Lenny: Oh, if they hire a woman, we won't be able to spit on the floor.
- Carl Carlson: – and we can't take our pants off when it gets real hot.
- Homer: – and we won't be able to pee in the drinking fountain!
- [Carl and Lenny look at each other a little disgusted]
- Homer: Yes, I mean, not – you know, if we wanted to, not that I ever – did.
- [Bart walks into the classroom looking like a nerd]
- Sherri/Terri: Nice glasses, four-eyes! [sniggering]
- Nelson Muntz: Yeah, nice shoes... uh ... two-feet. Ahh ...
- Martin Prince: Your appearance is comical to me.
- [Bart sees his reflection in Milhouse's glasses]
- Bart: [gasps] I'm a nerd!
- [Milhouse sees his reflection in Bart's glasses]
- Milhouse: [gasp] So am I!
- Homer: Moe, I need your advice.
- Moe Szyslak: Yeah?
- Homer: See, I've got this friend named... Joey Jo-Jo ... Junior Shabadoo?
- Moe: That's the worst name I ever heard.
- [a man at the end of the bar gets up and runs out crying]
- Barney: Hey! Joey Jo-Jo!
- Homer: Uh... so, let's have a conversation. Uh, I think we'll find we have very little in common.
- Mindy: Can't talk – eating.
- Homer: Hey, my favorite, raspberry swirl with a double glaze.
- Mindy: Double glaze. [begins to drool] Aggghhh ...
- Homer: D'oh –! Okay, so we have one thing in common. But you know what I hate? Drinking beer and watching TV.
- Mindy: Oh, not me. That's my idea of heaven.
- Homer: D'oh! Me too.
- Mindy: Really? I'm can see I'm gonna love working with you. Well, gotta go. [whispers] I wanna sneak in a quick nap before lunch.
- Homer: Foul temptress. I'll bet she thinks Ziggy's gotten too preachy, too!
- Homer: Hello, hotline? I'm very tempted by another woman!
- Ned Flanders: Homer Simpson! That's a dilly of a pickle. Hey, let's conference you with Marge, huh?
- Homer: [hangs up] NOOOOOOO!!!!
- Homer: Colonel Klink! Did you ever get my letters?
- Angel: I'm not actually Colonel Klink. I'm just assuming his form.
- Homer: Hee, hee, hee! Did you know Hogan had tunnels all over your camp?
- Homer: Lisa, look out behind ya!
- Lisa: Dad, I'm not gonna fall for that.
- Homer: No, Lisa, I swear to you! I'm one hundred percent completely serious. You've gotta turn around right now before it's too late!
- Lisa: [turns around] Huh?
- Homer: [running away] Sucker!
- Mr. Burns: Look at those two inseparable chums, Smithers – that's exactly the teamwork we'd like to show at this year's energy convention.
- Smithers: Are you sure, sir?
- Mr. Burns: Well, no one else seems to share the same spirit of camaraderie.
- Marge: Good news, honey! Two weeks are up! You don't have to wear your glasses any more. And your scalp and posture seem fine.
- Bart: [throws glasses] Yes! *Uh-uh! [*he kicks his shoes through his window]
- [Bart's shoes smash through the Flanders' living room window]
- Ned: Kids, did anyone pray for giant shoes?
- Rod Flanders: [raises his hand] I did!
- Ned: Okilly-dokilly.
- Mindy: What's wrong?
- Homer: Oh yeah, like you don't know! We're gonna have sex.
- Mindy: Oh ... well ... we don't have to.
- Homer: Yes, we do. The cookie told me so.
- Mindy: Well, deserts aren't always right.
- Homer: But they're so sweet.
