Difference between revisions of "Bart Star"

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"Bart Star"

Episode Information Episode number: 184 Season number: S9 E6 Production code: 5F03 Original airdate: November 9, 1997 Chalkboard gag: I did not invent Irish dancing Couch gag: Everyone sits of the couch but are crushed into a block by a contractor Guest star(s): Joe Namath as himself Mike Judge as Hank Hill Roy Firestone as himself Showrunner: Mike Scully Written by: Donick Cary Directed by: Dominic Polcino DVD features

"Bart Star" is the sixth episode of season 9 of The Simpsons and the one-hundred and eighty-fourth episode overall. It originally aired on November 9, 1997. The episode was written by Donick Cary and directed by Dominic Polcino. It guest stars Joe Namath as himself, Mike Judge as Hank Hill and Roy Firestone as himself.

Synopsis[edit]

"Springfield's youth join a pee-wee football team. With Ned Flanders at the helm and Nelson at quarterback the team is undefeated until Homer strong arms himself into Ned's job and puts all his faith in under qualified Bart as his quarterback."

Plot[edit]

Bart looks at his label, and finds himself to be "FAT".

The Simpson family and many residents of Springfield go to a health fair, where there are several stalls. At one, Homer is told by Dr. Hibbert that he has high levels of cholesterol (and gravy). At another, Grampa, Jasper, and the Old Jewish Man wear headphones to try and hear the tone Maude is turning up so high that people near the stall have to cover their ears. Marge has a stall about first aid that gains laughter from the crowd, and another stall features Rainier Wolfcastle testing children to determine whether they are "Fit or Fat?" Üter is unable to do a push-up but tries to get out of it by telling Rainier that he loves his McBain movies. Milhouse is tested for body fat but, unable to hold his breath long enough, releases all his fat, leading to a "Fat" label being slapped onto his bare stomach. Martin and Bart try to touch their toes, and while doing so, Bart rips his pants. Martin exclaims that he has the same pants as Bart. Bart is also labeled "Fat."

Kent Brockman reports on the news how young children are in terrible shape, showing a clip of Bart ripping his underpants, while Bart and Homer snack on Pop-Tarts. Kent then reports how sports can whip children into shape and lists various sports, including pee-wee football. Homer points out to Bart that pee-wee football will help him get into shape, but Bart argues that he could get hurt. A similar discussion happens at the Flanders house, with Ned saying that sports will help Rod and Todd resist temptation, which excites the boys. Another discussion occurs with Milhouse and his mom, with Milhouse suggesting that he could just have surgery.

At Sportacus, Marge asks the cashier about protection for Bart's crotch. The cashier brings out various items for different body parts until Marge clarifies that she wants a cup. The cashier then asks Marge to spell "C-U-P," but Marge simply gets the protection she needs. Bart tries on his uniform and asks Milhouse to kick him in that area to test it. Milhouse kicks him a few times, and Bart shows no reaction, until Marge yells for them to stop.

On the field, children try out for the quarterback position. Many do not fit the part, including Ralph, who brings a basketball. Nelson is then chosen as the team's quarterback. Bart is given a tackling role before Lisa tries to make a stand, stating that girls can play too. Ned, as the coach, points out that there are already four girls on the team. She then complains about the meat covering on the football before running off in tears. At the game, the Springfield Wildcats play against the Ogdenville Wildcats. While Ned coaches the team with high spirits, Homer keeps yelling that Ned is the worst coach ever. Marge points out that Homer's comment is pointless because the season has not started yet and there was no previous coach, as the team was just created.

Nelson plays excellently, bullying his way into getting the ball, using Bart as a shield to knock over the opposing players, and leading the team to a 20-7 victory. The team carries Ned off in celebration while Homer mutters that he has been carried out of Moe's like that hundreds of times. Homer calls into Sports Spew! With Roy Firestone, ranting about how terrible Ned is as a coach. Roy interrupts to ask if Homer has a question for his guest, Sandy Koufax, to which Homer simply asks if he thinks Ned is a big jerk. Homer calls again but gets cut off.

At the next game, Nelson once again leads the team to victory. During the celebration, Homer taunts Ned by repeatedly chanting "Flanders! Flanders!" until Ned loses his temper. Ned tries to calm himself, but Homer pushes him further by throwing a full can of Duff Beer at him. Ned confronts Homer, and after struggling to answer Ned's questions, Homer declares that even half a brain could coach better. Frustrated, Ned quits and announces Homer as the new team coach.

The next morning, Lisa walks out of her room half-asleep and falls down the stairs, only to be stopped by tires placed there by Homer as part of his training course. Homer tells her she will not make the team with that attitude. Lisa insists that she does not want to make the team, but Homer asks why she ran the obstacle course then.

After ordering Bart to run 20 laps around the backyard, Marge reminds Homer of how his dad never supported him in sports—specifically gymnastics. Homer flashes back to when he was impressing Marge with a gymnastics performance before his dad distracted him with shouting, causing him to fall. Snapping back to reality, Homer calls to Bart that he can stop running—before chasing him around the yard for a hug. At practice, Homer cuts a few players, including Martin and Wendell (who later rejoins the team). He then states that, despite being the coach’s son, Bart will not receive special treatment and announces that Bart will replace Nelson as quarterback. The team protests, but Homer insists that Bart is the new quarterback. He then tells the team to run five laps and hit the showers.

Bart gets heckled by Nelson, who proceeds to throw him in the mud.

On the drive home, Bart complains that he does not know how to be a quarterback. Homer reassures him, saying he has full faith in him and asks for a hug. As Homer embraces Bart, Bart yells, "Dad! The car!" but Lisa has already taken control of the wheel. At the game, Ned wishes Homer luck. Bart performs terribly, panicking when cornered and forgetting to pass the ball. The opposition wins 59-0. Despite this, Homer presents Bart with the game ball and demands that the team congratulate him. Instead, they heckle Bart, and Nelson threatens him before throwing him in the mud.

That evening, Bart practices throwing footballs through a tire swing but gets hit in the face. Joe Namath then arrives, saying his car broke down outside. He offers to give Bart advice, but his wife quickly fixes the problem, revealing it was just vapor lock. Namath leaves before giving Bart any real advice. Later, Lisa listens to Bart talking in his room, realizing he feels trapped between letting the team destroy him or letting Homer down. Lisa suggests a solution—lying to Homer.

At the next game, Bart shows up covered in casts and using a crutch, claiming he cannot play. Homer then asks Nelson to take a note to the referee saying, "We forfeit." The team groans, and Homer insists they cannot play without Bart—the "heart of the team." Bart finally snaps and shouts that he does not want to play quarterback and quits. Homer fires back that he cannot quit because he is cut—along with Milhouse, much to Milhouse's delight.

At dinner, tension grows between Homer and Bart. Marge tries to speak, but Lisa cuts her off. Bart asks to be excused, and Homer sarcastically claims that he now wants to quit dinner too. Marge tells Homer to let it go, but he insists he did not raise Bart to be a quitter—Marge did, by quitting every job she ever had. Marge counters that Bart is doing what he believes is best. Sarcastically, Homer decides quitting must be great and calls Mr. Burns to quit his job. Marge points out that Burns cannot see him winking.

Nelson wins the next game, securing Springfield a 28-3 victory. Homer celebrates, hugging Nelson, who pickpockets him and tosses his wallet away. Nelson's father rides by on a motorcycle and tells Nelson to hop on. When Nelson leaves, Homer turns to Bart, then realizes Bart quit the team. He dumps the victory drink on himself.

At the Kwik-E-Mart, Bart plays an arcade game while Homer vents his loneliness to Apu. Homer asks for Skittlebrau, but Apu states it does not exist. Apu improvises, giving Homer a six-pack of beer and Skittles. Homer then apologizes to Bart for not acknowledging his poor performance. He asks Bart for forgiveness and promises never to encourage him again. Bart ignores him but lets his game go to "Game Over" when Homer offers quarters. They hug.

Homer is unsuccessfully carried off the field.

In the championship game, Bart returns to his old position. Nelson is tackled, tying the game. Chief Wiggum arrives to arrest Nelson, but Bart takes the blame, allowing Nelson to score the winning touchdown. The team unsuccessfully tries to carry Homer off the field. In the police car, Bart asks about his charges, listing random crimes. Wiggum claims it is burglary and arson, saying Bart is "going away for a long time." Joe Namath closes the episode talking about vapor lock, then says goodnight.

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