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| | {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Treehouse of Horror III|Marge Gets a Job}} | | {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Treehouse of Horror III|Marge Gets a Job}} |
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| − | {{qf|[[Marge]]}} Now be good for Grampa while we're at the parent-teacher meeting. We'll bring back dinner.
| + | NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| − | {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} What are we gonna have?
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| − | {{qf|[[Homer]]}} Well, that depends on what your teachers say. If you've been good, pizza. If you've been bad... uh... let's see... poison.
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| − | {{qf|Lisa}} What if one of us has been good and one of us has been bad?
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| − | {{qf|[[Bart]]}} Poison pizza.
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| − | {{qf|Homer}} Oh, no! I'm not making two stops!
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| − | ----
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| − | {{qf|[[Mrs. Krabappel]]}} Bart has been guilty of the following atrocities: synthesizing a laxative from peas and carrots, replacing my birth control with Tic Tacs...
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| − | {{qf|[[Ms. Hoover]]}} You must have read to her at a young age.
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| − | {{qf|Homer}} I did! I did read to her! ''[flashback to Homer reading to baby Lisa]'' 8:00, ''Happy Days''. The Fonz, Henry Winkler, is worried he's losing his cool.
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| − | {{qf|Homer}} Well, I've always been a firm believer in the three R's: Reading TV Guide, um... Writing to TV Guide, um... and Renewing TV Guide.
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| − | {{qf|Homer}} "My child is on the honor roll at Springfield Elementary." You know, I thought I'd never find a replacement for my "Where's the Beef?" bumper sticker.
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| − | {{qf|Bart}} Boy, time really flies when you're reading... ''[sees what he's holding]'' the Bible!? Ewww....
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| − | {{qf|[[Ms. Krabappel]]}} I believe that with persistent discipline, even the poorest student can end up becoming, oh, say, Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.
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| − | {{qf|Homer}} Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. What great men he would join: John Marshall, Charles Evans Hughes, Warren Berger... Mmmmmmm... Berger...
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| − | ----
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| − | {{qf|Homer}} If you don't start making more sense, we're going to have to put you in a home.
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| − | {{qf|[[Grampa]]}} You already put me in a home.
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| − | {{qf|Homer}} Then we'll put you in the crooked home we saw on ''60 Minutes''.
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| − | {{qf|Grampa}} ''[meekly]'' I'll be good.
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| − | ----
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| − | {{qf|Homer}} ''[to Bart]'' Young man, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, then he gets to break yours.
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| − | {{qf|Grampa}} Aw, this is gonna be sweet.
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| − | ----
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| − | {{qf|Homer}} Boy, you're gonna have to be punished for this.
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| − | {{qf|Bart}} Dad, you could punish me, but that means you have to think of a punishment, sit here and make sure I do it...
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| − | {{qf|Homer}} ''[whining]'' Aw...
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| − | {{qf|Bart}} Or... you could let me go play with Milhouse, while you spend the afternoon watching unpredictable Mexican sitcoms.
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| − | | |
| − | :''[turns on the TV and "Bumble-Bee Man" is on]''
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| − | {{qf|Homer}} Hee hee hee. Run along, you little scamp.
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| − | ----
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| − | {{qf|Homer}} ''[to Bart]'' I said I'm gonna punish you and come hell or high water I.. wait a minute. ''[hears ice cream truck]'' Ice cream truck! Me, me, I was here first!
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| − | ----
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| − | {{qf|Homer}} Someday you'll thank me for this, son.
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| − | {{qf|Bart}} Not bloody likely.
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| − | {{qf|Homer}} No it's true, You know, when I was a boy, I really wanted a catcher's mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. The doctor thought I might have brain damage.
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| − | {{qf|Bart}} Dad, what's the point of this story?
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| − | {{qf|Homer}} I like stories.
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| − | ----
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| − | {{qf|Homer}} You're welcome to watch anything you want on TV.
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| − | {{qf|Bart}} TV Sucks.
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| − | {{qf|Homer}} I know you're upset right now so I'll pretend you didn't say that!
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| − | ----
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| − | {{qf|Marge}} Do you want your son to grow up to be Chief Justice of the Supreme Court or a sleazy male stripper?
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| − | {{qf|Homer}} Can't he be both like the late Earl Warren?
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| − | {{qf|Marge}} Earl Warren wasn't a stripper!
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| − | {{qf|Homer}} Now who's being naive?
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| − | ----
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| − | {{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Tonight on "Eye on Springfield", we meet a man who's been hiccupping for 45 years!
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| − | {{qf|Man}} ''[hic!]'' Kill me! ''[hic!]'' Kill me!
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| − | ----
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| − | {{qf|Kent Brockman}} Let's take a look back at the year 1928. A year when you might have seen Al Capone dancing the Charleston on top of a flagpole. It was also the year of the very first Scratchy cartoon entitled "That Happy Cat." The film did very poorly, but the following year, Scratchy was teamed up with a psychotic young mouse named Itchy and cartoon history was made.
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| − | {{qf|Homer}} Bart, didn't I ask you to watch Maggie?
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| − | {{qf|Bart}} Sounds like something you'd say.
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| − | {{qf|Snake}} ''[running off with a VCR]'' Oh, no! Beta!
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| − | {{qf|[[Chief Wiggum]]}} Aw, isn't that cute, a baby driving a car. Oh, look there's a dog driving a bus!
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| − | ----
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| − | {{qf|Lisa}} ''[about Bart]'' He has the demented melancholy of a [[Tennessee Williams]] heroine!
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| − | {{qf|Homer}} Don't you think I know that?
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| − | ----
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| − | {{qf|Homer}} Are you kidding? Lisa turned out perfect! I wont sit here and listen to you badmouthing Lisa!
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| − | {{qf|Marge}} We're talking about Bart.
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| − | {{qf|Homer}} Oh. That guy.
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| − | ----
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| − | {{qf|[[Milhouse]]}} I've seen the Itchy and Scratchy Movie 13 times.
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| − | {{qf|[[Nelson]]}} I've seen it 17 times!
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| − | {{qf|Bart}} You must be getting pretty tired of that movie by now, huh?
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| − | {{qf|Milhouse}} No one who saw the movie'd say that!
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| − | {{qf|Nelson}} Let's get him!
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| − | ----
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| − | {{qf|Homer}} Dad, you and your stories. "Bart broke my teeth", "The nurses are stealing my money", "This thing on my neck is getting bigger."
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| − | {{qf|Bart}} ''[in the future, seeing the "Itchy & Scratchy" movie with an elderly Homer]'' One senior citizen and one Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.
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| − | {{qf|Homer}} Mmm... Soylent Green.
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| − | {{qf|Homer}} Which one's the mouse?
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| − | {{qf|Bart}} Itchy.
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| − | {{qf|Homer}} Itchy's a jerk.
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| − | {{qf|Bart}} Yeah.
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| − | ----
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| − | :''[Grampa sneaks into Jasper's bedroom and steals his teeth.]''
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| − | {{qf|[[Jasper]]}} ''[Points gun at Grampa]'' Well, well, well, if it isn't the tooth fairy.
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| | {{Season 4|Q}} | | {{Season 4|Q}} |
