Editing The Mid-Life Tribulation

{{Tapped Out Quest
|name = The Mid-Life Tribulation
|image = [[File:Tapped Out The Mid-Life Tribulation Icon.png]]
|level = 5
|update = {{TOCU|Clash of Creeds: Christmas Royale}}
|requirements = 
|characters = [[Yahweh]]
|optional = [[Moses]], [[God]]
|previous = 
|next = 
|premium = yes
}}

'''The Mid-Life Tribulation''' is a premium questline in ''[[The Simpsons: Tapped Out]]''. It was introduced in the {{TOCU|Clash of Creeds: Christmas Royale}} content update. It requires [[Yahweh]] to be obtained.

== Dialogue ==
=== Yahweh unlocked notification ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After unlocking Yahweh|colspan=2}}
{{TBT|'''Message'''}}
{{TB|Yahweh has come to Springfield! Complete his sidequest to unlock his never-ending mid-life crisis and earn donuts every time he hits rock bottom!}}
}}

=== Pt. 1 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After tapping on Yahweh's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon}}
{{TB|So what's he doing now?}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Yahweh, I'm really not comfortable spying on God for you. Can't you just be happy being yourself?}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|I am happy. But I want to know what his secret is. Why is he so much more popular than me?}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon}}
{{TB|I wouldn't say he's more popular.}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|I have ten million followers and he has over a billion. I'd say that's more popular.}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon}}
{{TB|Well, he appeals to a different demo.}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|What do you mean a different demo? Is that some kind of crack?}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|You appeal to believers who are more sophisticated, more mature…}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon}}
{{TB|Are you saying I'm old?}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Yes.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Yahweh Realize He's Old|4 hours|[[Jewish Walk of Fame]], [[Temple Beth Springfield]], [[Jewish Heaven]], [[Invisible House]], or a [[Brown House]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Moses Worry About Where This is Heading|4 hours|[[Jewish Walk of Fame]], [[Temple Beth Springfield]], [[Jewish Heaven]], [[Invisible House]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Moses]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|It has been a while since I smote an Assyrian horde. And I don't even remember the last time I saw the old Pillar of Salt, if you know what I mean.}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Sadly, I do. What I would give to be 800 again!}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 2 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After tapping on Yahweh's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon}}
{{TB|Ok, maybe I am not quite as young as I once was. But age is just a number, right? 4,000 is the new 2,000. We just need to get back out there.}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Or maybe we should just gracefully accept the inevitable?}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|The first step is to get ripped.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Yahweh Join a Gym|4 hours|[[Lugash's Gym]], [[Old Scratch's Gym]], [[All Night Gym]], or a [[Brown House]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Moses Reluctantly Get Into Cycling|4 hours|[[Lugash's Gym]], [[Old Scratch's Gym]], [[All Night Gym]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Moses]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|My body fat is five percent and my resting heart rate is 50. I feel like I did on the seventh day!}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon}}
{{TB|Weren't you tired then from creating the universe?}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon}}
{{TB|Nothing that a mimosa over brunch couldn't fix. That's why I created Sundays.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 3 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After tapping on Yahweh's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon}}
{{TB|Now that we're ripped, our faith will surely start appealing to a younger demographic. Go round up some new followers. Starting with her.}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon}}
{{TB|I think the headphones mean "leave me alone".}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Or, maybe they mean "I like music", you wuss. Come on, show some swagger, Moses.}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon}}
{{TB|If you say so.}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon}}
{{TB|I say so.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Yahweh Get on Instagram|4 hours|[[Jewish Walk of Fame]], [[Temple Beth Springfield]], [[Jewish Heaven]], [[Invisible House]], or a [[Brown House]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Moses Approach Gym Patrons|4 hours|[[Lugash's Gym]], [[Old Scratch's Gym]], [[All Night Gym]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Moses]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Cookie Kwan Ignore Moses|4 hours|[[Lugash's Gym]], [[Old Scratch's Gym]], [[All Night Gym]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Cookie Kwan]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Squeaky Voice Teen Ask Yahweh and Moses to Leave|4 hours|[[Lugash's Gym]], [[Old Scratch's Gym]], [[All Night Gym]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Squeaky Voice Teen]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Did you get her number?}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|How old are you? Even I know nobody asks for a number anymore. I didn't even get eye contact.}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Okay, I'll admit it. You were right. People go to the gym to work out, not to be hit on by Old Testament prophets.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 4 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After tapping on Yahweh's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon}}
{{TB|Maybe we should focus on recruiting more age-appropriate followers.}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Maybe you should stop being such a Deuteronomy Downer.}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon}}
{{TB|We just need to sweeten the pot by showing that we're not just incredibly ripped — we're fun, exciting, and rich!}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Yahweh Buy a Porsche|4 hours|[[Towne Centre at Springfielde Glenne]], [[Springfield Mall]], or a [[Brown House]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Moses Check Yahweh's Followers|4 hours|[[Towne Centre at Springfielde Glenne]], [[Springfield Mall]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Moses]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Serious}}
{{TB|License and registration.}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon}}
{{TB|I don't have either of those.}}
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|Do you have any photo ID?}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon}}
{{TB|Sorry, not a big fan of graven images.}}
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Angry}}
{{TB|How am I supposed to give you a ticket?}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon}}
{{TB|My friend has been going through a hard time lately. His people left him for a younger Supreme Being.}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon}}
{{TB|If you could possibly forgive us this once, there could be some milk and honey in it for you.}}
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Exhausted}}
{{TB|What do I look like — a Graham Cracker?}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Milk and honey and donuts.}}
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Eyes Wide}}
{{TB|Drive safely!}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 5 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After tapping on Yahweh's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon}}
{{TB|We'll take the hoodie, for sure. The Skechers, definitely.}}
{{Tapped Out Big Zoo Fan Icon}}
{{TB|Right on.}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon}}
{{TB|What do you think about board shorts? Can I pull those off?}}
{{Tapped Out Big Zoo Fan Icon}}
{{TB|For sure.}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|What's wrong with the robes? The robes have dignity.}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|The robes scream day room in the senior center. We might as well carry a remote and use walkers. We're never going to get cool young followers with the robes.}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|The robes are forgiving. The robes cover a lot of middle-age spread.}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|You've got a point.}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon}}
{{TB|Do you have camo jackets?}}
{{Tapped Out Big Zoo Fan Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Right this way.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Yahweh Post Selfies|4 hours|[[Jewish Walk of Fame]], [[Temple Beth Springfield]], [[Jewish Heaven]], [[Invisible House]], or a [[Brown House]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Moses Compare Yahweh's Follower Counts to God's|4 hours|[[Jewish Walk of Fame]], [[Temple Beth Springfield]], [[Jewish Heaven]], [[Invisible House]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Moses]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Moses, my man! You look fly!}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|I feel stupid.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 6 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After tapping on Yahweh's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon}}
{{TB|Now that we've got the look, where do we show it off?}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|The food court at the mall?}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|I don't think that's quite the right place to connect to the new young followers we need.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Yahweh Go to a Rave|4 hours|[[Draggle Rock]], [[Hard Lad Nightclub]], [[One Night Stan's]], [[Businessman's Social Club]], or a [[Brown House]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Moses Reluctantly Tag Along|4 hours|[[Draggle Rock]], [[Hard Lad Nightclub]], [[One Night Stan's]], [[Businessman's Social Club]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Moses]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make God Like Yahweh's Rave Selfies|4 hours|[[Heaven]], [[Jewish Heaven]], [[Heavenly Swing Set]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[God]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|{{*}}shouting{{*}} This is amazing!}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|What?}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|This is fantastic!}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|What?}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Nevermind.}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|What?}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 7 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After tapping on Yahweh's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|This rave is off the hook!}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Can we go now? I'm tired.}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon}}
{{TB|Have one of these energy drinks. That'll pick you up — big time!}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|What's in it?}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon}}
{{TB|Who knows!}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Where'd you get it?}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon}}
{{TB|They're going around.}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon}}
{{TB|Do you think that's wise?}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|Lighten up, Moses. You've got to get into the vibe if we want to connect to young followers.}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|I think I'm going to pass.}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|More for me!}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Yahweh Keep the Party Going|4 hours}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Moses Quietly Edit Yahweh's Tweets|4 hours|[[Draggle Rock]], [[Hard Lad Nightclub]], [[One Night Stan's]], [[Businessman's Social Club]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Moses]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon}}
{{TB|I'm thinking of changing my name to Y-Axis.}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon}}
{{TB|Why would you do that?}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon}}
{{TB|Why? Y? I get it. That's hilarious.}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|What?}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon}}
{{TB|You should change your name to Mu-ses.}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|I'm good with Moses.}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|BOR-ING!}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon}}
{{TB|Don't you see it? Mu. It's a Greek letter. It's a variable. It's a Zen koan. It's everything. You're everything.}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|I think we should get you home.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 8 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After tapping on Yahweh's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|What happened last night?}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon}}
{{TB|I've got millions of new followers but my head hurts, my feet hurt, and I'm all over TMZ with my face buried in a burrito.}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|I told you no good would come of acting like kids.}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon}}
{{TB|You were right. We should stick to our demo.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Yahweh Hire An Image Consultant|24 hours}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Moses Put His Feet Up|4 hours|[[Heaven]], [[Jewish Heaven]], [[Heavenly Swing Set]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Moses]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Isn't this better? Sunshine, orange juice, and eggs benedict! This is the life for men — or beings — of our stature.}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|The crowd here makes me feel old.}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|You are old.}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|I guess so.}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon}}
{{TB|I think those ladies at the buffet are checking us out.}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon}}
{{TB|Yes, they are definitely checking us out. Go see if you can recruit them.}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|Seriously?}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon}}
{{TB|We're old, not dead. I've still got some of the Old Infinite Power.}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon}}
{{TB|Can't you just go talk to them?}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|If I could do that, what would I need prophets for?}}
{{Tapped Out Moses Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Fine. Just let me finish my eggs.}}
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Take your time. We don't want to seem too eager.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|200}} and {{XP|20}}|colspan=2}}
}}

{{Tapped Out Quests/Clash of Creeds}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Mid-Life Tribulation, The}}