Ralph the Haiku Genius/Quotes
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- Lisa: A child's imagination should be given wings!
- Ms. Hoover: Whatever.
- Fern: Hello, children! My name is Fern, and I'll be your substitute art teacher today! Cool! Cool! Today were making piñatas... so everyone please take our your safety scissors! You're Ralph, right? Your teacher said your need some special supplies...
- Ralph Wiggum: Hi! My names is Ralph! My shoes are on the wrong feet. Will you be my friend? You're not miss Hover! I think I ate a button. My cat hates showers.
- Fern: Five syllables, then severn, then five again could it be...? ...and I'm telling you that this boy is a genius! He speaks only in haiku!
- Ralph: I like to eat lunch. Principal Skinner is nice. This isn't my house!
- Sign: One month later
- Krusty the Clown: Now, Ralph. A lot of people are calling you the most exciting American poet since Kerouac.
- Ralph: You're a funny clown. I got sick in the limo. Your monket smells bad.
- Krusty: Searing, truthful, words. My friend. The guest is Ralph Wiggum. The book is called "My Cat Hates Shower" We'll be back with Maya Angelou after this brief message.
- Fern: I'm sorry, Ralph. But I must leave you. I've found a child in Shelbyville who only speaks in limerics!
- Ralph: Your hat is funny. My movie offer fell through. Cat food tastes like fish!