Labor Pains (comic story)/Quotes

Quotes

Director: Great scene, Scratchy! You emoted beautifully!

Cameraman: Oops! I forgot to put film in the camera!

Director: Well, Scratchy, it looks like we'll need one more take. Do it just like the last one, okay?

Scratchy: What...?! That was the fifteenth take! I've had enough! It's not worth my piddly salary to take this kind of abuse! I quit!

L.B. Mayhem: So Scratchy quit, eh? Why, that ungrateful bag of fleas! He’ll never work for me again! Don't worry about a thing, Itchy! You're the leading mouse -- and we've got plenty of co-stars who are just dying to work with you!

Itchy: I’ll give it a try, L.B. -- but I’m afraid it just won’t be the same!

L.B. Mayhem: So you're still unhappy, eh, Itchy?

Itchy: I miss Scratchy! I miss that high-pitched squeal he makes when he explodes... I miss the way his decapitated noggin rolls gracefully down his sloping shoulders... [Sigh] He's simply the best!

L.B. Mayhem: Forget him! He's a bum! You're the real talent -- you don't need him!

Itchy: [thinking] Hmm... I guess I'll just have to get Scratchy back on my own!

Burger Playground manager: You'll be working the drive-through window. Just remember the magic words...

Scratchy: Uh -- "thank you?"

Burger Playground manager: No -- "you want fries with that?"

Scratchy: [thinking] [Sigh] It's hopeless -- I'll never find a job that doesn't cause me extreme bodily injury! I can't take any more of this -- I might as well just end it all!

Scratchy: Goodbye, cruel world!

Mammoth Pictures producer: Scratchy, I'd like you to meet your new co-star, Lion L. Barryroar.

Lion L. Barryroar: Charmed, Scratchy! I love your work, doncha know! I can see greater heights of glory in your future -- as the bard said, "Your eyes are a gold candle fix'd in heaven's air."

Scratchy: Please, L.B. -- You've got to give me another chance! It's just too rough out there! I promise I'll never walk out on you again!

L.B. Mayhem: Hmmmmm... ...Okay, Scratchy! I guess I'm just a big softy, but I'll give you back your old job -- at half your old salary!

Scratchy: Oh, thank you, thank you thank you L.B.!

Krusty: Hey, kids, wasn’t that great?! Don’t go away -- we’ll be right back with another Itchy & Scratchy cartoon right after this shameless plug for new imitation-chocolatey-flavor Frosty Krusty Flakes!

Bart: Wow! Itchy and Scratchy -- wreaking havoc in our house! This is so cool! Maybe I can get their autogr--

Scratchy: YIIIIEEE!!!

Bart: Heh heh! Go get him, Itchy!

Lisa: Wow. For some reason, I have a forboding sense of impending catastrophe.

Bart: Yeah -- and I have the feeling something bad is gonna happen, too! Mom and dad will never believe this...