Big Monty/Quotes

Quotes

Mr. Burns: It's not my time!

Death: Oh, it is so your time, Montgomery Burns!

Mr. Burns: Is not!

Death: Is too! Gah!

Death: You can't outrun pant death, old man! [PUFF!]

Mr. Burns: Really? I seem to be doing so quite handily.

Death: [HOO!] Gotta switch [WOOT] to light beer.

Death's daughter: This is a family business now, Burns!

Mr. Burns: Zounds! Death has a son?

Death's daughter: No... a daughter! You sexist creep!

Mr. Burns: Oooh... what happened?

Waylon Smithers: You were cutting the ribbon for the plant's new day care center, sir. The ribbon snapped back and struck you in the chest, stopping your heart.

Mr. Burns: Yet another close shave, Smithers. I could feel the wind from the Grim Reaper's scythe. He has a daughter now. Cute as a pin.

Smithers: ...Ahem... Perhaps you'd better rest, sir.

Mr. Burns: I'm the last of my line, Smithers.

Smithers: There's your son, Larry, sir.

Mr. Burns: Yes. The last of my line.

Mr. Burns: My entire intellect and vie de l'esprit fit in such a modest machine?

Smithers: Size really isn't important when it comes to computing, sir.

Mr. Burns: Can we at least have it painted black?

Smithers: I'll see to it, sir.

Homer: D'oh! I thought it said "Bring your dog to work day." Marge is right... ...I shouldn't read the company flyer while driving home. Lisa would love visiting daddy's job.

Lenny Leonard: Maggie, too.

Homer: Who?

Carl Carlson: Seriously, Homer. This was boneheaded even for you.

Lenny: Heh. Right!

Homer: Well, at least I have a daughter.

Carl: There's no call for that.

Lenny: You know we've tried to adopt.

Mr. Burns: Odds bodkins! That larcenous canine has absconded with my afternoon scone!

Principal Skinner: I received a phone call from the Swellington School for Privileged Boys. Their headmaster tells me you've received a full scholarship to attend there. At first I thought it was another of your elaborate frauds.

Bart: Not guilty, Seymour.

Principal Skinner: I know. These faxes confirm that it's the real deal. You're out of my hair for good, Bart!

Bart: Huh?

Principal Skinner: You're going to another school! No need to delay!

Bart: But...

Principal Skinner: We'll pack up your locker and send it over!

Bart: But...

Superintendent Chalmers: Skinnnnnnerrrrrrr! Who authorized the construction of a natatorium?

Principal Skinner: Um... is that the building behind the pool?

Superintendent Chalmers: It is the pool!

Principal Skinner: I should have known that.

Superintendent Chalmers: And you've hired David Hasselhoff as a swim instructor?

Ralph Wiggum: Did you find Nemo yet?

David Hasselhoff: No!

Ralph: Are you..?

David Hasselhoff: No! And I'm not Aquaman either!