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The Simpsons: Tapped Out 4th July 2014 content update

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
Revision as of 10:30, July 2, 2014 by AleWi (talk | contribs) (Failure to Launch Pt. 8)

The Simpsons: Tapped Out's fifty-fifty content update, also known as the 4th July 2014 content update was released on July 2, 2014.

Characters

Image Name Unlock message
George Washington Tapped Out George Washington New Character.png
Giuseppe Granfinali

Buildings

Image Name Building time Costs Task Character(s) unlocked when built Level required
Sit-N-Rotate 3d Cash10,000,000
Giuseppe's Workshop 24h Cash5,000 Giuseppe

Decorations

Decoration Picture Requires Other
Lincoln Memorial Cash100,000
Fireworks Barge Donut80
American Flag Tapped Out American Flag.png Only at 4th July 2014
Pinwheel Firework Tapped Out Pinwheel firework.png Only at 4th July 2014
Box of Fireworks Tapped Out Crate of fireworks.png Only at 4th July 2014
Ye Olde Cherry Tree Donut180 Unlock George Washington

Gameplay

Failure to Launch Pt. 1

Homer Apu, $100 worth of your most illegal poorly-made fireworks, please!
Apu With federal agent Rex Banner snooping around town, I can no longer play the fireworks game.
Apu This Independence Day, the only laws I plan on breaking relate to food safety and price gouging.
Homer The government can't take away our fireworks just because they're illegal!
Homer Last time I checked, a little document called the U.S. Constitution guaranteed us the right to break any law we want, whenever we feel like it.
Apu It most explicitly does not.
Homer Exactly! If we can't buy fireworks, then we'll just have to make them ourselves
The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 1" which is to "Build Giuseppe's Workshop". It takes 24 hours.

Failure to Launch Pt. 2

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
Homer Guiseppe Granfinali, it's your lucky day. Most characters as minor as you never get to see Springfield again.
Homer Although that's less and less true all the time.
Homer Anyway, we want you to build the most ear-rattling, eyeball-bludgeoning, nose-somehow-obliterating fireworks ever made.
Lisa Would it help to have an extra set of hands? I got an “A” in second grade chemistry this year.
Giuseppe Chemistry? What-a the hell-a is that?
Lisa Wait... you make your living playing with gunpowder all your life, and you have no idea what it's made of?
Giuseppe Ground-up demon, I always assume.
Giuseppe Okay, find me some-a books on this "chemistry". Real old and out-of-date, like-a me.
Lisa Finally, a need only a second-rate public school library can fulfill!
Skinner Sixth-rate, actually. We just got our certification as a sixth-rate facility yesterday. We're very proud.
The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 2" which is to "Build Springfield Elementary", "Make Lisa Read Outdated Chemistry Books", and "Make Giuseppe Stock Up on 'Fertilizer'". It takes 4 hours.

Failure to Launch Pt. 3

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
Lisa Mr. Granfinali, are we going to start making the fireworks anytime soon?
Giuseppe What does it LOOK-a like I'm-a doing?!
Lisa Sitting in a rocking chair having an animated argument with no one at all.
Giuseppe That's-a how I create my fireworks! I talk it-a over with the ghosts of all-a my brothers.
Giuseppe Once there were-a fifteen Granfinali boys. Now, only Giuseppe. All the others, gone. Blown up to God.
Lisa Are you sure you want to solicit advice from ghosts that died in fireworks accidents?
Giuseppe They tell-a Giuseppe what NOT to do. That is, when they are not screaming.
Giuseppe Apparently, getting-a blown up hurts bad, even after you're dead.
Lisa Very comforting.
The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 3" which is to "Make Giuseppe Invent a New Firework" and "Make Lisa Mix Dangerous Chemicals". It takes 12 hours.

Failure to Launch Pt. 4

After tapping on Giuseppe's exclamation mark
Giuseppe Mama Mia! I just-a got an inspection-a notice from Town Hall.
Giuseppe When they find-a the ‘works, they gonna take-a them away!
Homer This time the government has gone too far.
Homer If I can bring a loaded AR-15 into a nursery school -- and thanks to the patriotism of dedicated nutcases, I can -- why can't I build explosives for pleasure?
Giuseppe To be fair, fireworks and firearms... they are not-a the same.
Homer Well, they can both kill people. And THAT means I should be able to do whatever I want with them.
Homer I'll send out word that the government is trying to stop an honest citizen from playing with gunpowder.
Homer You watch what happens.
Giuseppe Oh boy...
The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 4" which is to "Make Giuseppe Host a Fireworks Support" and "Make Republicans Attend the Fireworks Support Rally (x5)". It takes 2 hours.
Giuseppe The fireworks... they are-a gone!
Lisa What's happened?!
Giuseppe While we were demonstrating, somebody broke in and stole-a them.
Giuseppe All our precious explode-o's, blammers, and fizzle-booms... gone!

Failure to Launch Pt. 5

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
Lisa Who would steal fireworks? Think, Lisa!
Giuseppe Fear not. My family has an ancient, secret method for recovering lost fireworks.
Giuseppe You see, the firework, she wants to be with others of her kind.
Lisa Uh... that seems unlikely. But go on...
Giuseppe We use the little firecracker to find-a the big firework.
Giuseppe Take-a the firecracker. Light-a the firecracker. Throw-a the firecracker.
Lisa Okay...
Giuseppe If you hear a super-big KA-BOOM!, you have found-a the missing fireworks. If not, move on and-a try again.
Lisa And you say this is an ancient family technique?
Giuseppe My sisters were the fireworks finders in the family. But they are all dead now.
Lisa Let me guess -- blown up by fireworks?
Giuseppe Yes. What are the odds?
Homer I've got my firework finding gear. Let's go!
The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 5" which is to "Make Giuseppe Search for Stolen Fireworks" and "Make Homer Search for Stolen Fireworks". It takes 24 hours.

Failure to Launch Pt. 6

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
Homer The heck with it. If we don't have explosions and the real possibility of accidental death, the Fourth is ruined.
Homer I'm just going to go to work.
Lisa Cheer up, Dad. There are a few cans of lighter fluid in the garage.
Lisa We could light those on fire and see what happens!
Lisa That'll make for a great America's Birthday!
Homer Nah. America stinks. We had a good run, but it's over. It's Ceylon's turn now.
Lisa I hate to see you so down. Tell you what -- start a trash-can fire at work.
Lisa Maybe it'll cause a runaway inferno, and you can salvage what's left of Independence Day.
Homer Thanks, sweetie. Yeah, work is usually good for an explosion or two.
Homer Thank God I'm such a lousy safety inspector.
The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 5" which is to "Build Control Building" and "Make Homer "Safely" do his Job". It takes 16 hours.
Homer Woo-hoo! Work was great!
Homer Mr. Burns let me have a whole box of donuts if I promised not to tell anyone that he's been using stolen fireworks for fuel.
Lisa !!!
Homer I know. It's ridiculous, right? A whole box of donuts just for me...
Message Oh fine, here's a couple of donuts for you too, but don't you DARE tell anyone, or we'll take them back.

Failure to Launch Pt. 7

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
Lisa So! The man behind these mysterious thefts is none other than Mr. Burns!
Lisa The very SAME Mr. Burns who is, without fail, behind absolutely every nefarious act in this town!
Homer Tell me about it. The whole time I'm thinking, “It's probably Mr. Burns, but we're not really doing THAT story again, are we?"
Homer And THEN I thought: “Well, if it DOES turn out to be Mr. Burns, for sure don't point out how it's ALWAYS Mr. Burns, because that just makes it seem EVEN WORSE."
Homer But then YOU pointed it out, so I pointed it out, and now it's all anyone can think about.
Homer Which is unfortunate.
Giuseppe Well, if-a Mr. Burns is the bad guy, then I'm-a gonna have words with him right now!
Homer Ooh -- I love when Italians get mad. They can say a thousand swears with their hands alone!
Homer Watch and learn, Lis!
The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 7" which is to "Make Giuseppe Confront Mr. Burns" and "Make Homer Butt into Giuseppe's Business". It takes 6 hours.
Giuseppe Give-a me back my fireworks, evil skeleton!
Mr. Burns And have them turned into a weapon against me? No, I'm not keen to see rockets exploding on my front porch.
Homer We don't want to shoot them at you, silly!
Homer It's the sky we want to blow up. And the sky's no-good friend: clouds.
Mr. Burns I'm not talking about you.
Mr. Burns I simply can't afford to have these fine explodables end up in the hands of my family's mortal enemies.
Cletus Hi, Homer! Hi, Lisa! Hi, Italian person!
Cletus And hello to you, Burnsy. Or should I call you... Dead Man?
Mr. Burns Yes, everyone, it's true. The Spuckler clan and the Burns clan are a-feudin' agin.
Mr. Burns The Burnses have fought the Spucklers down through the generations.
Mr. Burns At times the feud merely simmers. But it always flares anew at the slightest provocation.
Homer r. Burns! I didn't realize you came from hillbilly stock.
Mr. Burns Oh, I don't.
Mr. Burns A mere three generations ago, the Spucklers were our rivals in Philadelphia high society.
Mr. Burns They were one of the richest, most erudite families in America.
Cletus Ay-yup.
Cletus Then my grand pappy lost his railroad, and pretty soon we's eatin' shoe leather and possum, and findin' we likes the taste!
Mr. Burns Our family fortunes may have diverged, but our hands are so steeped in Spuckler blood, and their hands in ours, that we will never truly live in peace.
Cletus Sad but true. Well, I'm off. Kill ya later, Burns!
Mr. Burns Kill you later, Cletus! Tell Brandine I'll kill her later, too!
Cletus Will do!

Failure to Launch Pt. 8

After tapping on Giuseppe's exclamation mark
Giuseppe Well, all is not-a lost. I have a special surprise for you, Lisa.
Lisa You don't mean...
Giuseppe Yes! We are ready to show-a off our new firework!
Lisa This is so exciting!
Giuseppe You're-a telling me! I've never fired spent-a nuclear fuel rods into the atmosphere before!
Lisa I wish I didn't know that's what was happening.
The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 8" which is to "Make Giuseppe Show-Off a New Invention". It takes 1 hour.

Happy Independence Day!

When the player logs in on 4th July 2014
Lisa On this very special day, we'd like to take a few moments to humbly celebrate the greatest nation on earth!
Homer China! No, wait -- Germany! It's Germany, isn't it? ...Russia? Man this is hard. Greatest nation on earth...
Homer Sweden?
Lisa Dad, I'm talking about America.
Homer What, this America? That's nuts -- by almost any measure we've fallen out of the top one-fifty.
Homer I mean look at education, income equality, percentage of population in prison, access to medical care...
Lisa Dad, not now! You're bumming everyone out. I'm trying to be festive!
Homer Oh right. Sorry, honey. Go ahead and lie about how good America is. I'll back you all the way.
Lisa *Cough* ... Alright: "To Americans everywhere, Happy Fourth of July!"
Message Regardless of where you are, enjoy these 5 sweet complimentary donuts!

See also

References