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The Simpsons: Tapped Out 4th July 2014 content update
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
The Simpsons: Tapped Out's fifty-fifty content update, also known as the 4th July 2014 content update was released on July 2, 2014.
Characters
Buildings
Decorations
Decoration
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Picture
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Requires
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Other
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Lincoln Memorial
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100,000
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Fireworks Barge
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80
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American Flag
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Only at 4th July 2014
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Pinwheel Firework
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Only at 4th July 2014
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Box of Fireworks
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Only at 4th July 2014
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Ye Olde Cherry Tree
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180
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Unlock George Washington
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Gameplay
Failure to Launch Pt. 1
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Apu, $100 worth of your most illegal poorly-made fireworks, please!
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With federal agent Rex Banner snooping around town, I can no longer play the fireworks game.
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This Independence Day, the only laws I plan on breaking relate to food safety and price gouging.
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The government can't take away our fireworks just because they're illegal!
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Last time I checked, a little document called the U.S. Constitution guaranteed us the right to break any law we want, whenever we feel like it.
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It most explicitly does not.
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Exactly! If we can't buy fireworks, then we'll just have to make them ourselves
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The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 1" which is to "Build Giuseppe's Workshop". It takes 24 hours.
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Failure to Launch Pt. 2
After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
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Guiseppe Granfinali, it's your lucky day. Most characters as minor as you never get to see Springfield again.
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Although that's less and less true all the time.
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Anyway, we want you to build the most ear-rattling, eyeball-bludgeoning, nose-somehow-obliterating fireworks ever made.
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Would it help to have an extra set of hands? I got an “A” in second grade chemistry this year.
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Giuseppe
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Chemistry? What-a the hell-a is that?
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Wait... you make your living playing with gunpowder all your life, and you have no idea what it's made of?
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Giuseppe
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Ground-up demon, I always assume.
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Giuseppe
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Okay, find me some-a books on this "chemistry". Real old and out-of-date, like-a me.
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Finally, a need only a second-rate public school library can fulfill!
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Sixth-rate, actually. We just got our certification as a sixth-rate facility yesterday. We're very proud.
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The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 2" which is to "Build Springfield Elementary", "Make Lisa Read Outdated Chemistry Books", and "Make Giuseppe Stock Up on 'Fertilizer'". It takes 4 hours.
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Failure to Launch Pt. 3
After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
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Mr. Granfinali, are we going to start making the fireworks anytime soon?
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Giuseppe
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What does it LOOK-a like I'm-a doing?!
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Sitting in a rocking chair having an animated argument with no one at all.
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Giuseppe
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That's-a how I create my fireworks! I talk it-a over with the ghosts of all-a my brothers.
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Giuseppe
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Once there were-a fifteen Granfinali boys. Now, only Giuseppe. All the others, gone. Blown up to God.
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Are you sure you want to solicit advice from ghosts that died in fireworks accidents?
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Giuseppe
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They tell-a Giuseppe what NOT to do. That is, when they are not screaming.
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Giuseppe
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Apparently, getting-a blown up hurts bad, even after you're dead.
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Very comforting.
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The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 3" which is to "Make Giuseppe Invent a New Firework" and "Make Lisa Mix Dangerous Chemicals". It takes 12 hours.
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Failure to Launch Pt. 4
After tapping on Giuseppe's exclamation mark
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Giuseppe
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Mama Mia! I just-a got an inspection-a notice from Town Hall.
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Giuseppe
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When they find-a the ‘works, they gonna take-a them away!
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This time the government has gone too far.
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If I can bring a loaded AR-15 into a nursery school -- and thanks to the patriotism of dedicated nutcases, I can -- why can't I build explosives for pleasure?
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Giuseppe
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To be fair, fireworks and firearms... they are not-a the same.
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Well, they can both kill people. And THAT means I should be able to do whatever I want with them.
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I'll send out word that the government is trying to stop an honest citizen from playing with gunpowder.
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You watch what happens.
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Giuseppe
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Oh boy...
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The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 4" which is to "Make Giuseppe Host a Fireworks Support" and "Make Republicans Attend the Fireworks Support Rally (x5)". It takes 2 hours.
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Giuseppe
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The fireworks... they are-a gone!
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What's happened?!
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Giuseppe
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While we were demonstrating, somebody broke in and stole-a them.
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Giuseppe
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All our precious explode-o's, blammers, and fizzle-booms... gone!
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Failure to Launch Pt. 5
After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
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Who would steal fireworks? Think, Lisa!
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Giuseppe
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Fear not. My family has an ancient, secret method for recovering lost fireworks.
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Giuseppe
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You see, the firework, she wants to be with others of her kind.
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Uh... that seems unlikely. But go on...
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Giuseppe
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We use the little firecracker to find-a the big firework.
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Giuseppe
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Take-a the firecracker. Light-a the firecracker. Throw-a the firecracker.
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Okay...
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Giuseppe
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If you hear a super-big KA-BOOM!, you have found-a the missing fireworks. If not, move on and-a try again.
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And you say this is an ancient family technique?
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Giuseppe
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My sisters were the fireworks finders in the family. But they are all dead now.
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Let me guess -- blown up by fireworks?
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Giuseppe
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Yes. What are the odds?
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I've got my firework finding gear. Let's go!
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The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 5" which is to "Make Giuseppe Search for Stolen Fireworks" and "Make Homer Search for Stolen Fireworks". It takes 24 hours.
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Failure to Launch Pt. 6
After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
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The heck with it. If we don't have explosions and the real possibility of accidental death, the Fourth is ruined.
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I'm just going to go to work.
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Cheer up, Dad. There are a few cans of lighter fluid in the garage.
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We could light those on fire and see what happens!
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That'll make for a great America's Birthday!
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Nah. America stinks. We had a good run, but it's over. It's Ceylon's turn now.
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I hate to see you so down. Tell you what -- start a trash-can fire at work.
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Maybe it'll cause a runaway inferno, and you can salvage what's left of Independence Day.
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Thanks, sweetie. Yeah, work is usually good for an explosion or two.
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Thank God I'm such a lousy safety inspector.
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The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 5" which is to "Build Control Building" and "Make Homer "Safely" do his Job". It takes 16 hours.
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Woo-hoo! Work was great!
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Mr. Burns let me have a whole box of donuts if I promised not to tell anyone that he's been using stolen fireworks for fuel.
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!!!
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I know. It's ridiculous, right? A whole box of donuts just for me...
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Message
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Oh fine, here's a couple of donuts for you too, but don't you DARE tell anyone, or we'll take them back.
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Failure to Launch Pt. 7
After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
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So! The man behind these mysterious thefts is none other than Mr. Burns!
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The very SAME Mr. Burns who is, without fail, behind absolutely every nefarious act in this town!
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Tell me about it. The whole time I'm thinking, “It's probably Mr. Burns, but we're not really doing THAT story again, are we?"
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And THEN I thought: “Well, if it DOES turn out to be Mr. Burns, for sure don't point out how it's ALWAYS Mr. Burns, because that just makes it seem EVEN WORSE."
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But then YOU pointed it out, so I pointed it out, and now it's all anyone can think about.
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Which is unfortunate.
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Giuseppe
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Well, if-a Mr. Burns is the bad guy, then I'm-a gonna have words with him right now!
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Ooh -- I love when Italians get mad. They can say a thousand swears with their hands alone!
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Watch and learn, Lis!
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The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 7" which is to "Make Giuseppe Confront Mr. Burns" and "Make Homer Butt into Giuseppe's Business". It takes 6 hours.
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Giuseppe
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Give-a me back my fireworks, evil skeleton!
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And have them turned into a weapon against me? No, I'm not keen to see rockets exploding on my front porch.
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We don't want to shoot them at you, silly!
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It's the sky we want to blow up. And the sky's no-good friend: clouds.
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I'm not talking about you.
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I simply can't afford to have these fine explodables end up in the hands of my family's mortal enemies.
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Hi, Homer! Hi, Lisa! Hi, Italian person!
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And hello to you, Burnsy. Or should I call you... Dead Man?
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Yes, everyone, it's true. The Spuckler clan and the Burns clan are a-feudin' agin.
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The Burnses have fought the Spucklers down through the generations.
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At times the feud merely simmers. But it always flares anew at the slightest provocation.
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r. Burns! I didn't realize you came from hillbilly stock.
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Oh, I don't.
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A mere three generations ago, the Spucklers were our rivals in Philadelphia high society.
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They were one of the richest, most erudite families in America.
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Ay-yup.
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Then my grand pappy lost his railroad, and pretty soon we's eatin' shoe leather and possum, and findin' we likes the taste!
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Our family fortunes may have diverged, but our hands are so steeped in Spuckler blood, and their hands in ours, that we will never truly live in peace.
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Sad but true. Well, I'm off. Kill ya later, Burns!
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Kill you later, Cletus! Tell Brandine I'll kill her later, too!
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Will do!
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Failure to Launch Pt. 8
After tapping on Giuseppe's exclamation mark
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Giuseppe
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Well, all is not-a lost. I have a special surprise for you, Lisa.
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You don't mean...
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Giuseppe
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Yes! We are ready to show-a off our new firework!
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This is so exciting!
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Giuseppe
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You're-a telling me! I've never fired spent-a nuclear fuel rods into the atmosphere before!
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I wish I didn't know that's what was happening.
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The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 8" which is to "Make Giuseppe Show-Off a New Invention". It takes 1 hour.
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Happy Independence Day!
When the player logs in on 4th July 2014
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On this very special day, we'd like to take a few moments to humbly celebrate the greatest nation on earth!
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China! No, wait -- Germany! It's Germany, isn't it? ...Russia? Man this is hard. Greatest nation on earth...
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Sweden?
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Dad, I'm talking about America.
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What, this America? That's nuts -- by almost any measure we've fallen out of the top one-fifty.
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I mean look at education, income equality, percentage of population in prison, access to medical care...
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Dad, not now! You're bumming everyone out. I'm trying to be festive!
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Oh right. Sorry, honey. Go ahead and lie about how good America is. I'll back you all the way.
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*Cough* ... Alright: "To Americans everywhere, Happy Fourth of July!"
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Message
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Regardless of where you are, enjoy these 5 sweet complimentary donuts!
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See also
References
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