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The Simpsons: Tapped Out 4th July 2013 content update
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
The Simpsons: Tapped Out's twenty-fifth content update, also known as the 4th July 2013 content update was released on June 28, 2013. The update added 4th July themed items, including two new characters, a costume and two buildings. It was first planned to release the update on July 1, 2013. The content except Lincoln was removed at July 8, 2013. The Lincoln will be removed on July 25, 2013.
Gameplay
The Rocket's Red Glare Pt. 1
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The Fourth of July is coming! When Americans celebrate their country by brazenly flaunting their contempt for its anti-fireworks ordinances!
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And Apu's All-American Kwik-E-Mart and Fireworks Megastore leads the way! I'd better get in costume.
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Sign
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You'll find a new outfit for Apu in your inventory!
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The Rocket's Red Glare Pt. 2
After tapping on All-American Apu's exclamation mark
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My fireworks customers demand the biggest explosions, triggered by the most unpredictable fuses money can buy!
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If this town doesn't lose at least three fingers every year, I haven't done my job.
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The player receives "The Rocket's Red Glare Pt. 2" which is to "Make All-American Apu Stock Up on Illegal Fireworks". It takes 24 hours. The player receives total 1,700 and 160 in reward.
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The Rocket's Red Glare Pt. 3
After tapping on Apu's exclamation mark
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Stocking this many explosives in such close proximity to cigarette-smoking twelve-year-olds is dangerous.
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I better sell these fireworks fast!
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The player receives "The Rocket's Red Glare Pt. 3" which is to "Make All-American Apu Turn a Profit" and "Send Springfield Residents to Buy Fireworks [x15]". It takes 12 and 1 hours. The player receives total 1,570 and 365 or more in reward.
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The Rocket's Red Glare Pt. 4
After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
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*yawn* I can't sleep -- the noise from all these fireworks is keeping me awake.
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You're the one lighting them! You can stop any time you like!
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If I stop blowing up M-80s even for a moment, then the Soviet Union wins and our Founding Fathers got their heads chopped of for nothing.
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Maybe some coffee will wake you up. And help you make some sense.
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The player receives "The Rocket's Red Glare Pt. 4" which is to "Build the Nighthawk Diner". It takes 24 hours. The player receives total 100 and 10 or more in reward. Once completing the build of the Nighthawk Diner, the player unlocks Rex Banner.
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Build
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New Character
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The Rocket's Red Glare Pt. 5
After tapping on Rex Banner's exclamation mark
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Citizens of Springfield, fear not! No longer will airborne displays of Technicolor splendor haunt your nights!
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Federal agent Rex Banner!?
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Here to stop the flow of illegal fireworks into Springfield and bring the Bottle Rocket Barons to their knees.
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Well, that'll be nice. They're kind of a nuisance.
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Nuisance? You call sporadic incidents of mild to moderate noise pollution a NUISANCE?
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It's the greatest threat to the American way of life since loitering! Time to round up the likely suspects.
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The player receives "The Rocket's Red Glare Pt. 5" which is to "Make Rex Banner Interrogate Flanders". It takes 8 hours. The player receives total 650 and 150 or more in reward.
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The Rocket's Red Glare Pt. 6
After tapping on Apu's exclamation mark
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This holiday is proving most profitable!
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I've traced the fireworks to this Kwik-E-Mart. Time to see what we can see...
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Great Ganesh! Super-cop Rex Banner is hot on my trail! I'd better hide the evidence.
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The player receives "The Rocket's Red Glare Pt. 6" which is to "Make All-American Apu Hide the Fireworks Behind the Malt Liquor" and "Make Rex Banner Stake Out the Kwik-E-Mart". It takes 4 and 12 hours. The player receives total 695 and 155 or more in reward.
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The Rocket's Red Glare Pt. 7
After tapping on Rex Banner's exclamation mark
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Reach for the sky, Nahasapeemapetilon! I know you're the gunpowder-drunk mastermind of this fireworks racket!
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Come clean -- you're the one they call the Rocket Rajah. The Bengal Blaster. Pyrotechnic 'Pu.
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I see. Because of my ethnicity and name, you assume this person must be me. That, sir, is profiling!
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I'm an old-timey cop. Profiling is ninety percent of my skill set.
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And we call it by its proper name: good ol' red-blooded, American racism.
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The player receives "The Rocket's Red Glare Pt. 7" which is to "Make All-American Apu Hide the Fireworks Behind the Malt Liquor" and "Make Rex Banner Stake Out the Kwik-E-Mart". It takes 4 and 12 hours. The player receives total 695 and 155 in reward.
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The Rocket's Red Glare Pt. 8
After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
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Rex Banner! I've discovered the identity of the fireworks smuggler. It's Ned Flanders! Quick, drag him down to the station and interrogate him for hours!
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Let's go, boys!
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And... he's gone. Woo-hoo! Come on, everybody -- the coast is clear! Let's buy some boom!
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The player receives "The Rocket's Red Glare Pt. 8" which is to "Make Rex Banner Interrogate Flanders" and "Send Springfield Residents to Buy Fireworks x15". It takes 8 and 1 hours. The player receives total 1,700 and 405 or more in reward.
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The Rocket's Red Glare Pt. 9
After tapping on Rex Banner's exclamation mark
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Hands where I can see them, Apu! I'm taking you in!
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Wait! That man is innocent!
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I've just found an old town law from 1803 which expressly permits "the sale and detonation of pyrotechnic devices for one month following June 4."
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What's so special about the Fourth of June?
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June 4th was King George III of England's birthday.
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Springfield was the only town in the nation that voted 182 times to return to British rule.
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We've always been America's cowards.
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Well, if memory serves, there's one thing this town is still good for.
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The player receives "The Rocket's Red Glare Pt. 9" which is to "Make Rex Banner Eat a Banana Kaboom". It takes 4 hours. The player receives total 275 and 55 in reward.
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Paranoid Android
After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
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Rex Banner, come quick!
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Apparently, there's a new counterfeiting operation in town and it's headed by none other than Ned Flanders! Interrogate him at once!
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Interrogate him for hours and hours!
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Come on, boys!
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The player receives "Paranoid Android" which is to "Make Rex Banner Interrogate Flanders". It takes 8 hours. The player receives total 650 and 150 in reward.
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The Rocket's Red Glare Pt. 10
After tapping on All-American Apu's exclamation mark
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Now that this awful business with the authorities has blown over, it's time to restock!
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The player receives "The Rocket's Red Glare Pt. 10" which is to "Make All-American Apu Stock Up on Illegal Fireworks". It takes 24 hours. The player receives total 700 and 160 in reward.
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The Rocket's Red Glare Pt. 11
After tapping on Apu's exclamation mark
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I am happy to announce I am open for business once again!
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Woo-hoo!
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I haven't blown anything up in a couple of hours, this was starting to feel like a Canada celebration...
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The player receives "The Rocket's Red Glare Pt. 11" which is to "Make All-American Apu Turn a Profit" and "Send Springfield Residents to Buy Fireworks [x15]". It takes 12 and 1 hours. The player receives total 1,570 and 365 or more in reward.
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The Rocket's Red Glare Pt. 12
After tapping on Apu's exclamation mark
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This has been the most profitable Fourth of July ever!
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Where else but American can an Indian man make money selling Chinese fireworks to patriots?
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I love this horrible country!
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The player receives "The Rocket's Red Glare Pt. 12" which is to "Make All-American Apu Display Patriotism". It takes 8 hours. The player receives total 375 and 80 or more in reward.
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The Rocket's Red Glare Pt. 13
After tapping on Apu's exclamation mark
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What the-? This isn't the shipment of fireworks I ordered!
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Oh my! It's the original Liberty Bell - and still intact!
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It would seem that the bell has been transported through time, I deduce-
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We don't always need an explanation! And I need to know is that there's a bell and that I'm going to ring it!
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...
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Hey! It broke! Lousy British workmanship. Ah well, might as well put this somewhere.
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The player receives "The Rocket's Red Glare Pt. 13" which is to "Place the Liberty Bell". The player receives total 100 and 10 or more in reward.
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Happy 4th of July
When the player logs into their game on July 4, 2013
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Please enjoy this most dangerous box of firework, free of charge. It is far too unsafe to keep in my store's inventory, so I put it in yours.
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To Americans everywhere, Happy Fourth of July! And to the rest of you, sorry for our behavior the last ten years.
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The player will have a box of fireworks in their inventory.
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Abraham Lincoln
Honest Abe Pt. 1
After tapping on Abraham Lincoln's exclamation mark
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Four scores and seven years ago, our forefathers---
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WHAT THE? WHERE DID GETTYSBURG GO? WHAT LAND IS THIS AND WHAT'S WITH ALL THE BLUE HOUSES?
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Good glaven, it's Abraham Lincoln!
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The cashing-in of so many expensive donuts must have opened a wormhole to the past, ensnaring our sixteenth President!
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By Jingo, my good nerd! Are you talking about t-t-t-t...time travel?
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I am. Tell me –- in your own time period, have you ever had contact with the ancestors of the Simpsons?
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He did once. It was only a few lines of dialog, though. It's kind of hard to see how that justifies him appearing here.
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It does seem odd. Odd and desperate!
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This is a lot to digest. I need to relax, by doing the funnest, most rewarding activity in the world...
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The player receives "Honest Abe Pt. 1" which is to Make Abraham Lincoln Split Rails'. It takes 8 hours. The player receives total 520 and 115 in reward.
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Honest Abe Pt. 2
After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
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Mr. Lincoln, did you know that our country now has its first African-American president? Pretty amazing, huh?
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Well, it took long enough. I would've thought it'd happen by 1920. 1930 at the latest.
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Well, there were some setbacks along the way...
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No, no! You all go right on patting yourselves on the back for being a bit less racist after 150 years. Well done. Seriously, you guys rock.
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Uh... hey look! Over there! Unsplit rails!
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Unsplit rails? Let me at 'em!
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The player receives "Honest Abe Pt. 2" which is to Make Abraham Lincoln Split Rails. It takes 8 hours. The player receives total 520 and 115 in reward.
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Honest Abe Pt. 3
After tapping on Abraham Lincoln's exclamation mark
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So when do I get to go back to my own time?
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Soon. I just need to de-gloiven the hoyvenmaven, then it's a simple matter of breaking every law of the physical universe, and pressing this big red button.
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Excellent. Really looking forward to finishing up the Civil War, serving my term in office, then enjoying a long retirement.
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...
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What? What did I say? Why are you looking at me all weird?
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The player receives "Honest Abe Pt. 3" which is to Make Abraham Lincoln Feel Paranoid. It takes 8 hours. The player receives total 520 and 115 in reward.
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Honest Abe Pt. 4
After tapping on Abraham Lincoln's exclamation mark
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How come every time I mention how much I'm looking forward to retiring, starting an alpaca farm and living to a ripe old age, people get awkward and change the subject?
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So... how IS the weather in D.C. this time of year?
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Now you're doing it! Why? Are alpacas not a sound investment?
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You can be honest -- I'm not married to the idea. It just seemed like a fun way to pass my many, many Golden Years.
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...
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The player receives "Honest Abe Pt. 4" which is to Make Abraham Lincoln Feel Paranoid. It takes 8 hours. The player receives total 520 and 115 in reward.
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Honest Abe Pt. 5
After tapping on Abraham Lincoln's exclamation mark
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Okay, something terrible happens to me sometime after I go back to 1865. What is it?
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Uh... I don't think I'm allowed to tell you.
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Then I’ll use your public library to find the answer for myself!
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The player receives "Honest Abe Pt. 5", which is to "Reach level 12 and Build Springfield Library" and "Make Abraham Lincoln Research Abraham Lincolns Fate". It takes 24 hours. The player receives total 1,100 and 235 in reward.
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Honest Abe Pt. 6
After tapping on Abraham Lincoln's exclamation mark
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Unbelievable! Your library stocks nothing but romance novels and books of something called "Sudoku".
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That’s all anyone reads anymore
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Kid, you gotta tell me what happens to me. Am I in danger? Do I die or something? Because I will do literally ANYTHING to prevent that.
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Nothing is more precious to me than my life. I would gladly let the South win the war if it meant five seconds more of precious, precious living for Honest Abe.
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History remembers what a huge coward I was, right?
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Uh... no. We have a pretty high opinion of you.
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reat. Listen, Im gonna get this beard trimmed. While I do, I suggest you seriously reconsider telling me the truth!
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The player receives "Honest Abe Pt. 6" which is to "Reach level 16 and Build Jake's Unisex Hair Palace" and "Make Abraham Lincoln Get a Beard Trim" It takes 1 hours. The player receives total 115 and 36 in reward.
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Honest Abe Pt. 7
After tapping on Abraham Lincoln's exclamation mark
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Mr.Lincoln I’ll make a deal.
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I’ll tell you what happens to you if, as one of historys greatest debaters, you give a few pointers to Springfield Elementarys Debate Team.
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Sure. Make your President jump through hoops before you answer a simple question. How patriotic of you.
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Im precocious. Its not a crime.
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Well, when I get back I'm gonna MAKE it one. Well call it the Lisa Simpson Amendment.
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The player receives "Honest Abe Pt. 7" which is to "Make Abraham Lincoln Coach the Springfield Elementary Debate Team". It takes 12 hours. The player receives total 700 and 160 in reward.
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Honest Abe Pt. 8
After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
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Okay, Mr. Lincoln -- a deals a deal. Here's what happens to you. On the night of April 14, 1865...
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You know what? If what I've seen of Springfield is typical of the rest of America in 2013, let some other sucker preserve this crappy Union. I'm staying here.
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I'm afraid we cant let you do that, Mr. President.
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Yeah, well good luck catching me. Lincoln away!
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The player receives "Honest Abe Pt. 8" which is to "Make Lincoln Run For It!". It takes 12 hours. The player receives total 700 and 160 in reward.
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Honest Abe Pt. 9
After tapping on Abraham Lincoln 's exclamation mark
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Man, that Lincoln guy is fast! Did you see where he went, pal?
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Uh, no! By my top hat, mustache-less beard and frock coat, I haven't seen anyone matching the description of this Abraham Lincoln.
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Hey, you're the him I was talking about!
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Drat! I need to modernize my look!
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The player receives "Honest Abe Pt. 9" which is to "Make Abraham Lincoln Attempt to Blend In". It takes 24 hours. The player receives total 1,000 and 225 in reward.
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Good day, kind sir. I wish to purchase a beverage from your fine establishment.
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I have never encountered such a polite customer. I can only assume there is something deeply wrong with you. Please do not kill me.
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You've got it all wrong! I'm just an average American from this time period. Like everybody, I enjoy man caves, candy and debilitating laziness.
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Wait! I know you! You are the man from the Take-a-Penny-Leave-a-Penny tray!
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I must remember to be as rude and boorish as the rest of these horrible people
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Honest Abe Pt. 10
After tapping on Mr. Burns' exclamation mark
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If it isnt my boyhood pal, Abraham! Fancy meeting you here!
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Hiya, Monty. Could you keep your voice down? Im kind of lying low.
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Of course. Say, didnt something happen with you at a theater a few years back? I thought I heard that.
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No, Im fine now. Listen, do you think I could hole up at your place for a few years? Just until the heat dies down.
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I suppose that could be arranged. If someone were to take an interest in the large pile of unsplit rail in my backyard.
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It’s a deal!
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The player receives "Honest Abe Pt. 10" which is to Make Abraham Lincoln Split Rails. It takes 8 hours. The player receives total 520 and 115 in reward.
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Lincoln Overtime
If the player has not purchased Lincoln after July 8, 2013
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Aw, I hate when holidays are over. All the Fourth of July stuff is gone.
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Not all of it -- Abraham Lincoln is still around. Maybe what he did for the country was too important to trivialize by removing him from the store.
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Or maybe the game designers screwed up. God know it wouldn't be the first time.
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Sign
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Actually it's neither of those. In honor of how much we like his storyline, we're extending the sale of Abraham Lincoln until July 25.
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So the Lincoln stuff is good, huh? That'll be a change of pace.
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Sign
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What -- you guys know what I said? I thought only the player could see this text.
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Normally that's true. But this is different because right now we're aware that we're in a game.
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Sign
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Hmmm... the rules for this are tricky.
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We're in a game?
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Characters
Buildings
Image
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Name
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Building time
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Costs
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Task
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Character(s) unlocked when built
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Level required
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Lincoln's Cabin
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6s
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150
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Income Tax
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Abraham Lincoln
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5
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Nighthawk Diner
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24h
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15,000
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Giving Insomniacs a Place to Go
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Rex Banner
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5
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Decorations
Decoration
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Picture
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Requires
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Reward
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Liberty bell
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The Rocket's Red Glare Pt. 13
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Improves your Obedience rating.
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American Flag
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5,600
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Improves your Vanity rating.
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Pinwheel Firework
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30
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0.75% bonus money and XP to all Jobs.
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Box of Fireworks
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50
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2.25% bonus money and XP to all Jobs.
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Lisa Statue of Liberty
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65
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2.50% bonus money and XP to all Jobs
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See also
References
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