The Rise and Fall of Krustyland, Part Two/Quotes
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< The Rise and Fall of Krustyland, Part Two
Revision as of 14:15, October 12, 2026 by Solar Dragon (talk | contribs) (Created page with "{{TabQ|nogags}} {{qf|Dream Krusty}} Papa! I knew you'd come! That dream I had was an omen! I'm so happy you're here! {{qf|Dream Rabbi Krustofsky}} Herschel! I'm so pr...")
- Dream Krusty: Papa! I knew you'd come! That dream I had was an omen! I'm so happy you're here!
- Dream Rabbi Krustofsky: Herschel! I'm so proud of you! Can you ever forgive me for doubting the importance to the world of over-priced, escapist theme parks?
- Dream Fat Tony: It's quite simple, Krusty. Since you do not pay me the money you owe me, I am going to blow you away, lint-boy!
- Krusty: [waking up] Huh? What th-!?
- Krusty: What the hell is going on here? I don't have time for this! We're opening tomorrow!!
- Lionel Hutz: But Krusty, these are Krustyland's Mister Teeny mascots. The midgets union wanted too much money and we didn't get much toddler response to our ad! Besides, nothing spells trouble like a kid in a monkey suit! So, we bought these highly illegal, wild black-market monkeys. We actually save money since they don't need the costumes! All we have to do is put little hats on them... and feed them, I guess.
- Krusty: Oh great. What do they eat?
- Lionel Hutz: Pretty much anything they can get their hands on.
- Homer: Kids, it is the most important event of my life except for the time your mother and I got stranded in the Museum of Edible Dinosaurs!
- Marge: They weren't supposed to be edible, Homer!
- Homer: Bart, I am so proud of you for getting us these priceless Krustyland tickets, that I am going to make you my favorite son!
- Lisa: Bart is your only son, Dad.
- Homer: That's right Lisa. From now on all my other sons will be banished from the kingdom!
- Fat Tony: There is nothing I enjoy more than rubbing elbows with celebrities, unless that something would be rubbing out people who welch on their debts. A sentiment which you no doubt share. Am I right, Krusty?
- Krusty: Oh, yesss. There's n-n-nothing I like m-m-more than rubbing celebrities, Don Don Tony.
- Fat Tony: Glad to hear it! Goodbye, my poor debt-ridden zany.
- Krusty: S-s-sorry you have to leave so soon, Don Tony.
- Krusty: Singing pork chops to the left! Dancing pork chops to the right! Daredevil pork chop - mount the ladder during the drum roll!
- Llewellyn Sinclair: What exactly is my motivation again, Krusty?
- Krusty: You see, Llewellyn, this act is the climax of opening day festivities. So, mount the ladder or I'll kill you!
- Kent Brockman: Kent Brockman here! We're live! - high in the sky with Arnie Pie! This is the day you've all been waiting for - the grand opening of Krustyland! We'll be sparing no expense to bring you exclusive live coverage of this important event! Also in the news: Republicans repeal the Bill of Rights, massive earthquakes rock the entire southern hemisphere, and Dorcas, the cute little forest pig with the great big stench finally gives birth to twins. Don't worry folks, we'll keep you abreast of the smelly pig story as it develops.
- Krusty: Hutz! What are these people doing here?
- Lionel Hutz: Krusty, I'd like you to meet your celebrity guests for the grand opening of Krustyland: Rod E. McDowall, "Earnest" Borgnine, and Shel E. Winters. They're members of the Shelbyville Thespian Society! They were doing a musical version of "The Poseidon Adventure" and they kindly agreed to help out!
