House of a Thousand Donuts/Quotes

Quotes

Lisa: This tour of backwood diners is the worst vacation ever!

Marge: Don't be such a Gloomy Gladys, Lisa. At least Maggie is having a good time.

Lisa: All she ever wants is to sleep! She can do that anywhere!

Homer: Listen, we all agreed to throw Grampa out ten miles back because there wasn't enough room!! So how can we--?

Krusty: Hey-hey-hey!

Lisa: Krusty?

Bart: What are you doing here?

Krusty: Ahh... I won this dump in a poker game, but it doesn't make enough moolah to hire a staff, so I have to run it myself. Hurry up and make with the souvenir buying.

Krusty: Wha the--?! Mister Teeny, don't touch that! Bad monkey! Bad!

Mr. Teeny: SCREECH!!

Krusty: The chimp grabs weapons when you give him V-O-D-K-A!!! We almost had another sale for Captain Spaulding's Hall of Thumbs!

Homer: Thar 'tis.

Lisa: I don't like the looks of this place, Dad.

Homer: That's what you said about Krusty's Museum of Madmen, Lisa, and look how well that turned out!

Lisa: Can we go?

Karen Black: Surely, not before you visit Dr. Satan's Hall of Donuts... ...the fabled life's work of the world's foremost researcher in the field of donut-ology. This collection has taken millions of dollars and many years for Dr. Satan to complete. With donuts found mummified in ancient tombs, and some baked fresh this morning... ...all of them are found within the walls of-- What the hell...?!?

Cletus Spuckler: He ate up the Hall of Donuts, Ma.

Karen Black: You inhuman monster!! You found something bigger than a meal, here!!

Homer: ...Mummified ones...were crunchy.

Marge: What...? Huh...?

Dr. Satan: Ah, the flesh is awake.

Marge: What... what's going on?

Dr. Satan: There really is a bogey man, girlie... and your donut-eating family has found him!!

Marge: Is this because my husband ate your museum? Because if it--

Dr. Satan: You lie there on the table while I hack out your brain with this rusty saw. For years I've been transplanting human brains into my donut zombies... unholy creatures of living flour, baked to serve my every whim.

Cletus: Shucks. 'Tain't nothing, tradin' brains with them donut people.

Brandine Spuckler: The purple jelly feels kinda nice in my skull.

Barney Gumble: And my glazed flour brain stopped my worst habit! Nail biting.

Dr. Satan: Please don't squirm. I gave the cleaning staff the week off.

Marge: I can tell. This place is a mess.

Dr. Satan: You're not scared, are you?

Marge: Not really.

Dr. Satan: But, I'm a psychopath with a rusty saw!

Marge: I'm sure you're quite good at your job. But I know my Homie. In another minute, he's going to eat all you zombie donut people and save us. Homer's used to gorging his way out of danger.

Homer: Can't help ya, Marge. After nine hundred and sixty three donuts, I think I'm full.

Lisa: I told you we shouldn't have come in here.

Bart: This can't be real!! It's all some crazy dream! Dad's never full!!