Cruisin' for a Bruisin'/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
< Cruisin' for a Bruisin'
Revision as of 13:21, July 20, 2026 by Solar Dragon (talk | contribs) (Created page with "{{TabQ|nogags}} {{qf|Homer}} My wife is dead?!! {{qf|Ned Flanders}} No, I keep telling you! It's my wife that passed away! Which is why I'm trying to give you our tic...")
- Homer: My wife is dead?!!
- Ned Flanders: No, I keep telling you! It's my wife that passed away! Which is why I'm trying to give you our tickets to a romantic couples cruise we booked a year ago.
- Homer: Well, I'd like to go, Flanders, but I'm terrified of water.
- Marge: Thank you, Ned. We'd be happy to take your tickets.
- Homer: But Marge.
- Marge: Oh, Homer. Just call up Dr. Hibbert and have him cure your rabies! And get rid of that raccoon!
- Homer: Are you thirsty, fella? Hey, Marge! He wants a beer, too!
- Captain McCallister: Noooooooo! Skipper's on the wagon! He was just two days away from his six month AA chip!
- Marge: So is Skipper a happy drunk or an angry drunk?
- Skipper: SQUEEEE!!
- Homer, Marge, and Captain McCallister: Aaaaaah!
- Homer: Fine! I'll show you! I'll just start my own cruise ship business!
- Marge: Hrrmmm.
- Homer: Marge, what's with the "hrrmmm"?
- Marge: Oh, Homer. 95% of new businesses in Springfield fail in the first year. And 85% of those are started by you.
- Homer: Marge, this isn't like the snow plow, internet, elephant ride, country music management, grease recycling, bodyguarding, racehorse owning, love potion, chiropractor, beer baroning or daycare businesses. This'll be different!
- Waylon Smithers: You want more time off work? Frankly, Simpson, I'm not even sure you work here any more.
- Homer: I still get a paycheck.
- Smithers: Taking you off payroll would mean replacing all the accounting department's abacuses. I wish Mr. Burns would let us use computers.
- Homer: I would like to retract my earlier statement about God and his ship-sinking abilities. I'd also like to take this time to praise Buddha, Allah, and, to a lesser extent, Ra! Give a good word to the man upstairs for us, would you, Reverend?
- Reverend Lovejoy: Will do!
- Lisa: How come Bart doesn't have to swab the decks?
- Bart: I called "no swabbing" first.
- Homer: Nothing I can do, Lisa. It's the law of the sea.
- Marge: You know, Homer, maybe you should spend less time matchmaking and more time actually steering the ship.
- Homer: There's a steering wheel?
- Luann Van Houten: Oh you're just bitter because your girlfriend doesn't really exist.
- Kirk Van Houten: Oh, yeah. Well, maybe your boyfriend doesn't exist, either!
- Pyro: I'm right here.
- Kirk: You've won this round, Luann!
- Lisa: Mom! Bart's splashing me! And the sharks are getting closer! Mom? Mom?
