Big Monty/Quotes
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< Big Monty
Revision as of 10:28, July 6, 2026 by Solar Dragon (talk | contribs) (Created page with "{{TabQ|nogags}} {{qf|Mr. Burns}} It's not my time! {{qf|Death}} Oh, it is so your time, Montgomery Burns! {{qf|Mr. Burns}} Is not! {{qf|Death}} Is too! Ga...")
- Mr. Burns: It's not my time!
- Death: Oh, it is so your time, Montgomery Burns!
- Mr. Burns: Is not!
- Death: Is too! Gah!
- Death: You can't outrun pant death, old man! [PUFF!]
- Mr. Burns: Really? I seem to be doing so quite handily.
- Death: [HOO!] Gotta switch [WOOT] to light beer.
- Death's daughter: This is a family business now, Burns!
- Mr. Burns: Zounds! Death has a son?
- Death's daughter: No... a daughter! You sexist creep!
- Mr. Burns: Oooh... what happened?
- Waylon Smithers: You were cutting the ribbon for the plant's new day care center, sir. The ribbon snapped back and struck you in the chest, stopping your heart.
- Mr. Burns: Yet another close shave, Smithers. I could feel the wind from the Grim Reaper's scythe. He has a daughter now. Cute as a pin.
- Smithers: ...Ahem... Perhaps you'd better rest, sir.
- Mr. Burns: I'm the last of my line, Smithers.
- Smithers: There's your son, Larry, sir.
- Mr. Burns: Yes. The last of my line.
- Mr. Burns: My entire intellect and vie de l'esprit fit in such a modest machine?
- Smithers: Size really isn't important when it comes to computing, sir.
- Mr. Burns: Can we at least have it painted black?
- Smithers: I'll see to it, sir.
- Homer: D'oh! I thought it said "Bring your dog to work day." Marge is right... ...I shouldn't read the company flyer while driving home. Lisa would love visiting daddy's job.
- Lenny Leonard: Maggie, too.
- Homer: Who?
- Carl Carlson: Seriously, Homer. This was boneheaded even for you.
- Lenny: Heh. Right!
- Homer: Well, at least I have a daughter.
- Carl: There's no call for that.
- Lenny: You know we've tried to adopt.
- Mr. Burns: Odds bodkins! That larcenous canine has absconded with my afternoon scone!
- Principal Skinner: I received a phone call from the Swellington School for Privileged Boys. Their headmaster tells me you've received a full scholarship to attend there. At first I thought it was another of your elaborate frauds.
- Bart: Not guilty, Seymour.
- Principal Skinner: I know. These faxes confirm that it's the real deal. You're out of my hair for good, Bart!
- Bart: Huh?
- Principal Skinner: You're going to another school! No need to delay!
- Bart: But...
- Principal Skinner: We'll pack up your locker and send it over!
- Bart: But...
- Superintendent Chalmers: Skinnnnnnerrrrrrr! Who authorized the construction of a natatorium?
- Principal Skinner: Um... is that the building behind the pool?
- Superintendent Chalmers: It is the pool!
- Principal Skinner: I should have known that.
- Superintendent Chalmers: And you've hired David Hasselhoff as a swim instructor?
- Ralph Wiggum: Did you find Nemo yet?
- David Hasselhoff: No!
- Ralph: Are you..?
- David Hasselhoff: No! And I'm not Aquaman either!
