Xt'tapalatakettle's Day/Quotes

Quotes

Lisa: So what's the big mystery about this year's Halloween costume, Bart? Didn't you learn your lesson last year with that beekeeper's outfit?

Bart: Not really, but Homer healed up pretty good, anyway! Besides, this year I've hatched the perfect scheme for goodie-grabbin'!!! Consider yourself privileged, Lisa. You're about to witness Halloween history-in-the-making! Prepare yourself for an advancement guaranteed to push right through the candy-collectin' envelope! Ta-daaa! Behold the white ghost, or as I like to refer to it; costume #1!

Lisa: [SIGH]... and so crumbles the last bastion of originality!

Bart: Oh, yeah? Let's see what you say after you see all the candy I'm gonna get! Allow me to continue with my scenario, dear sis... After the unsuspecting rube hands out goodies to the white ghost, he closes the door and-- knock, knock! The blue ghost shows up! And after that, the red ghost makes his appearance! Check the math, Lis. Three colors of sheets. Three ghosts. Three chances. Three times the candy from each house in the neighborhood!

Lisa: Yes, and you'll get three times as nauseous gorging yourself on all that sugary crud!

Ned Flanders: This is wonderful! As something of a self-styled authority on religious beliefs around the world, I'd say you're a lucky woman, Marge... ...Very few people are privileged to witness this ceremony! The followers of Xt'tapalatakettle have taken a lot of time and trouble to locate their idol and continue their ancestral traditions! Many countries and cultures celebrate this custom in various ways...

Bart: Like me, laying in wait, dressed up as a ghoul for Halloween!

Lisa: Cut it out, you troglodyte!

Ned: Some perform these rituals in cemeteries on Halloween night, to accompany and remember the departed dead! Others gather in churches to pray for the peace of the souls of the dead! And there are those who decorate their idols and place delicious food before them to provide their dead with peaceful repose!

Chief Wiggum: [on the phone] So you say you've got a living skeleton bangin' on your front door, huh? Look, what did you expect on Halloween? Jehovah's Witnesses? Dead people on your porch? Geez, every year it's the same darn thing... You got a headless corpse? Okay, here's what you do--give it two Butterfingers and call me in the morning!

Lou: You have the right to remain silent: if you choose to give up the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against...aw, gee, forget it!

Agnes Skinner: You come with me right this minute, young man! I'll--Seymour! Your ear just came off in my hand! What kind of foolishment are you trying to pull here?

Principal Skinner: Unh... I'm over here, mother...

Apu: Phew! I believe the idol is properly festooned with long-shelf-life comestibles.

Marge: I hope it's enough to make Xt'tapalatakettle happy!

Lisa: I don't know...highly-salted snack foods don't look nearly as tasty as fresh fruits!

Bart: Aw, chill out, Lisa! It's the thought that counts! [SLURP!]

Mr. Burns: Egad, Smithers, this time my plant's emissions are so completely-out-of-control, they've caused the dead to return to a shambling mockery of life! So much destruction! So much death!

Waylon Smithers: Oh, yes sir, it's just terrible!

Smithers: [thinking] But not as terrible as the longing I hold in my heart for the apparent author of this havoc!

Mr. Burns: Even a corrupt tycoon such as myself is not immune from the pangs of self-guilt! I shall sign this extremely generous check to indemnify the entire community!

Smithers: Good news, sir! The walking dead are suddenly returning to the Springfield Cemetery!

Mr. Burns: As I was just saying, none of this is our fault!