Worst Competition Ever!/Quotes

Quotes

Homer: The walls are closing in on us, boy! I've got a bad feeling about this!

Bart: Wait, there's something else in here...!

Marge: Stop fooling around, you two, and get this attic cleaned up! And take off those ridiculous stormtrooper outfits!

Bart: "Ridiculous"? They won us first prize in the father/son costume contest at Springfield Comic-Con!

Homer: That's right, we won that Wookiee-skin rug! Hey, that should be somewhere up here too...

Bart: Dad, you have to see this...

Homer: Be right there!

Bart: It's a collection of vintage, golden age comic books! Grampa must have collected them as a kid!

Homer: Great! Now we have something we can throw away to make your mother happy!

Bart: No way, man! These comics are worth a fortune! We could sell them and make our dreams come true!

Homer: [GASP!] You mean I'll finally be able to afford my own alpaca-breeding farm?!

Bart: More importantly, I'll be able to achieve my life-long goal of owning my own comic book shop!

Homer: Woo-hoo! Let's go find nerds with money!

Lisa: Hey, what are you two doing?

Homer: Getting rich by selling some of Grampa's comic books.

Lisa: Does Grampa know you're doing this?

Homer: Now why would we go and do something silly like telling him?

Lisa: Because the comics might be the only link left to his childhood! He kept these comics for a reason and he has the right to know what you're doing with them!

Homer: Whatever happened to finders keepers, losers weepers?!

Comic Book Guy: Whaa?! Another comic shop on my turf?! Not again!

Nelson Muntz: Is anyone else as mad as I am about the proliferation of junk home loans leading to all these early foreclosures?

Dolph Shapiro: It makes me want to beat some-one up!

Milhouse Van Houten: Uhhh... what are we talking about again?

Comic Book Guy: No... this must be a hoax... it's the rarest comic book in existence, "Adrenaline Comics #1" with the first appearance of Radioactive Man! It's not fair! How do you own the most valuable comic ever made?!

Homer: I guess our "rags" aren't so "worthless" now!

Comic Book Guy: It doesn't belong in your sorry excuse for a shop. It belongs in a museum! Keep these miscreants away from it!

Bart: I thought us miscreants were your valued customers!

Homer: Bart, there you are! I need you to go to the back room and put prices on all the "Superior Squad" issues we haven't put out yet.

Bart: But I wanted to check out the new comics first, like the rest of the kids.

Homer: They don't work here, you do.

Marge: Well I think it's just wonderful that you and your father have a hobby to share.

Bart: It's gone beyond that, Mom. I think Dad's becoming... a comic book geek.

Marge: If that's what you call it, then I'll take it. Besides, a little change is good for everyone, right?

Homer: Bart, you made it to Mount Spaghett-dor! Destroy the One Meatball to rule them all inside its fiery, marinara-y pit!

Bart: So, you were saying...?

Homer: So, Frank Miller, if that is your real name, when can we expect to see a sequel to "3000?"

Frank Miller: Never. The Spartans all died. And my graphic novel is called "300."

Apu: Your total is three-forty-one, sir.

Hans Moleman: Oh... a take-a-penny dish! Don't mind if I-- BLAAAHHW?!?!

Comic Book Guy: Drop it, Artful Dodger!

Apu: He was just utilizing the "take a penny, leave a penny" dish as the sign suggests!

Comic Book Guy: Oh. Right. That.

Apu: Comic Book Guy, you are the worst Squishee operator of all time! You are fired!

Moleman: This is the third time that's happened this week. You'd think I'd remember to bring my own pennies by now...

Retirement Castle director: Wow, judging by your resume, you're a regular jack of all trades!

Comic Book Guy: Umm, yes, sort of. And there's a good reason for why each of those jobs didn't work out, which I'd be happy to explain...

Retirement Castle director: No need. You had me at "I'd like to apply for your job opening."

Grampa: Bart, I'm so happy you came to visit! You remember my pet beagle, Whiskers?

Bart: Grampa, that's not a dog... that's a rat!

Grampa: Oh sure, pick on him just because he's not some prize-winning purebred!

Homer: Hello, I've been burglarized! Send a SWAT team, the Marines, and Jack Bauer to The Android's Dungeon! Comic Book Guy stole my comics!

Squeaky-Voiced Teen: Sir, for the last time, this is Pizza-Face Pizza Delivery, not 9-1-1. 9-1-1 has three numbers... ours has seven!

Comic Book Guy: You can come visit the comics whenever you like, Homer. No touching, of course. And the two-minute loitering rule will be in effect.