Senior Volun-Teacher Week/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
< Senior Volun-Teacher Week
Revision as of 19:00, April 12, 2026 by Solar Dragon (talk | contribs) (Created page with "{{TabQ|nogags}} {{qf|Grampa}} Canada? It's not fit for livin'. It's where the Queen of England walks her dogs. {{qf|Lisa}} ''[thinking]'' O...")
- Grampa: Canada? It's not fit for livin'. It's where the Queen of England walks her dogs.
- Lisa: [thinking] Oh, no!
- Grampa: New York? It wasn't always so new. Teddy Roosevelt tacked on the "new" when he tried to sell the whole place back to the Indians.
- Lisa: Miss Hoover! I love my Grampa, but he doesn't know what he's talking about.
- Miss Hoover: Lisa, smart children like you will learn proper history in college. The rest will grow up to work at fast food restaurants or start internet companies, so it won't matter.
- Principal Skinner: Our senior volun-teacher program has been a great boon to you students and the community at large. With so many seniors off the street, line-ups for lottery tickets are down 50%.
- Lisa: But what about the curriculum!
- Principal Skinner: Curriculum? Lisa, I'll let you in on a little secret. Our curriculum consists of two rules—one constitutional, the other practical: A) never mention God and B) never mention Lake Titticaca.
- Principal Skinner: Ho, ho, ho. Lisa, when I hear that bell ring at three o'clock, and the school is still standing, and Bart isn't in prison—that's what I call a good day.
