The Burns Paradox/Quotes
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- Mr. Burns: Confound it, Smithers, I am bored to the gills. We need some excitement around here. Let's play a game.
- Waylon Smithers: What shall we play, sir? Toxic hide-and-seek? The EPA still hasn't found the last batch. Or would you prefer One-Switch-Two-Switch-Let's-Flip-the-Blue-Switch? Last time, you blacked out two states. That was a jolly time, sir.
- Homer: ...and that day I was late because... my dog broke down and my car ate my... I mean, my dog ate my... car?
- Mr. Burns: Stop your blathering, Simpson. You'll be relieved to know that you are being fired for no good reason whatsoever. But, as I am a sporting fellow, I delight in giving you a fighting chance.
- Smithers: Sir, didn't both of those slips of paper have guillotines on them? Isn't that cheating?
- Mr. Burns: Don't turn Douglas Do-Gooder on me now, Smithers. Whoever said cheaters never prosper never saw my bank account.
