Scandal-gate
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Tapped Out Quest Information
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Scandal-gate is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the 4th of July 2015 content update. It requires Richard Nixon to be obtained.
Dialogue[edit]
After tapping on Richard Nixon's exclamation mark
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This just in! Last night, a break-in occurred at the historic Scandal-gate Hotel.
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The thieves raided the headquarters of the Springfield Botanical Society, making off with $9.78 in petty cash and some packets of seeds.
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Several of the seed packets were for petunias. I don't know why that detail is considered relevant by the half-wits who wrote this copy for me to read off the teleprompter.
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A break-in at the Scandal-gate? It's happening again...
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I'll get my best man on it. My best man is not very good, unfortunately. He's terrible. But he's a slightly better man than my other men, who are all shockingly bad men.
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Task: "Make Richard Nixon Turn Himself In". The job takes place at the Police Station or Scandal-gate Hotel and takes 4 hours.
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After starting the job
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Look no further, copper! Nixon is your man. Nixon is behind this heinous crime.
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Isn't that impossible? You just beamed into town like five minutes ago.
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Nixon did it, and now he's orchestrating a vast cover-up to hide his involvement. This thing goes all the way to the top.
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Mr. President, why are you trying to take the blame for something you obviously didn't do?
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Nixon obviously did so do it. Nixon's behind this despicable political attack. Arrest Nixon.
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After finishing the task
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What political reason could there be for you to target a group of elderly gardening enthusiasts?
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Follow the money.
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Nine dollars and seventy-eight cents? THAT money?
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I know! Nixon must be a lunatic. But he definitely did it. Just like in 1972.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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After tapping on Richard Nixon's exclamation mark
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Mr. President, now that we're alone, please tell me why you're taking the fall for the break-in at the Scandal-gate?
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I have to. Just like I had to in 1972. To protect the American people.
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But you WERE behind that break-in! Everybody knows that. There were YEARS of investigations, THOUSANDS of articles...
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All lies, planted by the jive turkeys who were really behind it. They were running scared. Because Nixon and his friends had cracked the case.
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Dick Nixon, you see, is a master detective. Nixon makes Sherlock Holmes look like a blithering idiot. And Nixon filled his White House with fellow super-sleuths.
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Ehrlichman, John Dean, Haldeman and Nixon called ourselves "The Mystery Solvers Club." We had closed hundreds of cases the fuzz deemed "unsolvable."
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At night, we prowled the streets of D.C., magnifying glasses in hand, collecting clues.
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But when, in 1972, we realized the truth behind the break-in, we decided it was too big, too terrible to ever get out.
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The American people need to believe in their government. But they also need the bad guys to get caught. So we let ourselves BECOME the bad guys.
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It's like in "The Dark Knight" when Batman lets himself be framed for the murder of Harvey Dent. Nixon is pretty sure that's based on Nixon, by the way.
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I've never seen it.
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Never seen "The Dark Knight?" How is that even possible? It's like my seventh-favorite movie EVER. Come on. We're watching it right now.
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Task: "Make Richard Nixon Watch "The Dark Knight"". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 6 hours. Task: "Make Lisa Watch "The Dark Knight"". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 6 hours.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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After tapping on Richard Nixon's exclamation mark
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NOW do you see, Lisa? NOW do you dig how Dick Nixon is maybe an even better Batman than Christian Bale?
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Not really. What WAS this horrible truth you were trying to keep from the American people?
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In Washington, nothing is as it seems. What you think you know, you don't. And what you definitely don't know, you do.
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Tell me -- who are the LAST two people you would ever expect to be the masterminds of the break-in?
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Geez, I don't know... Probably Woodward and Bernstein?
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BINGO.
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Task: "Make Richard Nixon Blow Everyone's Minds". The job takes place at Scandal-gate Hotel and takes 60 minutes. Task: "Make Lisa Get her Mind Blown". The job takes place at Scandal-gate Hotel and takes 60 minutes.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
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Woodward and Bernstein were crusading, intrepid reporters who re-established the rule of law in Washington!
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They were conservative operatives posing as reporters, at a hardline neo-Fascist think tank posing as The Washington Post.
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It says so on the masthead: "The Washington Post is a front for a hardline neo-Fascist think tank." Why doesn't anyone ever read the masthead?
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Well, it's kind of small print. I assumed it wasn't that important...
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Anyway, those reactionaries had to do SOMETHING to stop me. They knew about my second-term agenda.
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Which was?
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Please understand that Nixon's biography is a lie. Nixon grew up on an anarchist Marxist Buddhist hippie commune on the upper slopes of Mount Everest.
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Where the air is far too thin to breathe...
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Shut up.
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You're insane.
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NIXON WAS LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD, AND NIXON SAYS SHUT UP.
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Task: "Make Lisa Sulk". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 45 seconds.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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After tapping on Richard Nixon's exclamation mark
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Anyway, Nixon spent decades deep undercover as a Republican. All to set up my glorious second term. I called it: "The Love Agenda."
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We were gonna press the "reset" button on America. No more military, no more money. No more "rich" and "poor."
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No more "police." No more "fire department" or "hospitals." Just people, you know? Hanging out, digging on good music and positive vibes.
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That's a great system. Very well thought out.
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Then Woodward and Bernstein caught wind of it, and eighty-sixed the whole beautiful vision.
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But we'll get there. People are too damn groovy not to get there.
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I really hope you're wrong about that.
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In fact, I'm gonna go soak up some love right now. Later, square.
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So long, Another Intensely Disappointing Ex-President.
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Task: "Make Richard Nixon Wave to the People". The job takes 12 hours.
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Message
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Unlock Washington and Lincoln to see what our greatest Presidents think of our least-great President!
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Quest reward: 200 and 20
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Behind the Laughter[edit]
The quest makes several references to the Watergate scandal, which led to the impeachment and resignation of Richard Nixon.